Relatives trying to pair you up

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So I made a really stupid comment further back in this thread.

It's funny how humans like to kind of tie up things that aren't related. "I probably don't like this guy because he still lives with his parents." yeah, that's not the reason. It's just a non related fact. We were kids together, then I moved away and I just see him as forever 16 or like a cousin.

I was talking to a guy in between writing that and now and it hit me. This is a decent man, funny, intelligent, polite, fit and healthy. *He lives with his parents and it doesn't make me like him less.

It's like that sharks and ice-cream thing.

Yeah, so I take that back, it was stupid (eats humble pie).

*10 years younger than me:(

Problem is it appears you consider him an exception.

Personally I'd much rather a woman like or accept me for x, y and z from the get-go than consider thse thimg dealbreakers but me an exception or feel that I 'compensate' in other ways.

Who knows what else I could possibly be 'compensating' for when it comes to these types of women?

"I think you're boring and uninteresting but you have a nice fit body and are good in bed."

"I think you're kind of ugly but you're Rich and spoil me with luxuries so it's okay."

"You still live at home which I consider a dealbreaker but you are fit, have a job, own a nice car, and I like your personality.

If you didn't have a car or job then it'd be over and i likely would have never even given you. Chance and missed out on the 2 happy years we've been together. "

To me it places conditions onto love, makes it more of a chore as you have to meet and maintain these conditions, but then again I guess except for me and Sly everyone does this.

What happens when a man injures himself and can't exercise for a few months, regardless of diet ad recovery he will lose progress, and maybe if he works construction even after the injury heals he cannot do it anymore and needs a new kind of job, so there goes his job too. And his car breaks down a few months later.

I sure hope whatever woman he meets can stay with him for his personality and character alone at that point.

Not talking about you but there are plenty who date for shallow and materialistic reasons who find their world comes crashing down when their partners life changes.

They usually dump their partner because they didn't have loyalty to their partners actual values and character.

I mean sure if a partner clearly isn't making an effort at all is one thing, but there are men and women who may dump a partner while they're looking for a job, while they're bouncing back from bankruptcy, even sadly when a partner becomes wheelchair bound.and such, even though wheelchair bound men can be fit, can driv, can still go to most places whenever they.need to, can still work plenty of jobs, etc.

Even though I am in a loving, caring relationship with my childhood girlfriend, my mom still has tried to get me to date a girl who is not only Catholic, but also Hispanic, just like her.

My girlfriend is white and Catholic, even though she doesn't attend church services because of a lack of community. Also, there are no Catholic churches close to her home. She does pray. I first met my girlfriend when we were in grade school. After the fifth grade, we lost contact. A few years ago, we unexpectedly reconnected. She was in a relationship at the time, so we reconnected on strictly platonic terms. We didn't actually began dating until the beginning of last year.

I'm sorry if this closing sentence will give any of you the creeps, but dating a Hispanic girl would be like dating a younger version of my mom because my mom is also Hispanic.

My Mum is WASP but when I date WASP girls they don't remind me of my Mum.

No he's not an exception, but I'm not actually attracted to him, he's too young and fresh, imold and jaded. My Bro in law, my best friend's husband and a few others I know lived with their parents and never on their own and moved out to live with her (being their current wife/partner).

And I agree, when people focus on what's in the outside things will fall apart when problems come along.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you'll be a loving girlfriend to some lucky guy one day.

This thread is more about me not getting along with my mother, sometimes I don't think she really even likes me. She loves me unconditionally, but she doesn't get me and I think she's disappointed that I'm not more like her.

She doesn't like my intelligence. She's always told me that I'll find it hard to meet someone because men prefer less intelligent women like her.

You'd be surprised:

I know many men would KILL to be able to go out with an intelligent woman.

Sorry, but that simply isn't true for every guy. Lots of guys prefer someone that can hold a conversation, it can even be the most important quality they look for. Don't sell yourself short.

Oh my mother said this to me once. I went out with a guy friend of mine (we weren't dating - we were friends, that's it) - anyway we went bowling. I happened to be in leagues at the time so I was rather good and I won a couple games.

She scolded me and told me I should always purposely lose when I play a game against a guy because "they don't like it when women are better at something." (like she's an example of success or something. She basically married the first guy who asked her and she's been hiding her misery ever since. And not very well, I might add)

False. I find it a huge turnoff when women are unintelligent. I've refused to date some girls because they had average/below average intelligence.

Same with my Mum. It's like if I'm better than her at something it's a thread to her stability.

Honestly....I have seen more instances of women saying they prefer men more intelligent than them, but I haven't seen any instance of man (even here on WP) saying that he prefers a woman less intelligent than him; at least I haven't seen one being vocal about it.

I wonder if because they have this idea like your mum so they adjust their preferences according to certain ingrained ideas.

If I went on a blind date and then found out the girl is a scientist, I'd be pretty turned on by that.

I know there are men out there who do prefer women to be less intelligent than them. It's an ego boost, I would imagine. But I can't help but think how boring that would be to be in a relationship with someone significantly less smart than you. I guess if all you have going for you is ego then that would be enough.

Personally I prefer guys who are basically my equal - or better than me at some things and not as good as others, so that it evens out in the wash. That's preferable than one party having all the power.

Who honestly cares about intelligence and to be honest its not black and white either. Women can be smart in one area and not so much in another its just a characteristic of being a human being. You honestly shouldn't be worried about going out with a woman who appears less smart. Like many people she might have an area she is good at that you may like.