Red flags in dating? Early stages

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What if your partner doesn't want to go? Should you not go either?

Should I not attend a support group because there might be guys there more than women or should I not go to a gaming group because there could be guys there or not go to a munch? That is what I am talking about.

Also I talk to anyone online. That doesn't mean I am looking for a hook up. Just talk to your partner about boundaries and if he doesn't want you sexting or showing your nudes or any of your private parts or doing any posing for them, that is fine and not controlling just as long as they are not dictating about who you should talk to. Many people would consider this cheating, especially if you act out kinks with another person. But if it's just normal chatting like things about in life or about hobbies or interests or just someone you know from a forum or game, that is fine IMO. If a guy doesn't like that, we wouldn't be together. To me it would be too controlling and trying to cut me off from social life and friends and trying to keep me sheltered.

Now I'm confused. Are there guys out there that think this is ok?

"Just talk to your partner about boundaries and if he doesn't want you sexting or showing your nudes or any of your private parts or doing any posing for them, that is fine and not controlling".

If my Hunny was ever doing the above or said it was ok for me to do - I'm outta there (after I give him a big kick in the a$$)!

My brother once dated a girl in high school and she wouldn't let him go out anywhere with his friends so one day my brother couldn't go to Missoula with us because his girlfriend would have gotten mad at him if he did and I felt mad at my brother for letting him control him. Why doesn't she just come too you know? What was stopping her? My brothers were having their friends come along too and she didn't want him going with us. Nope I will never let anyone treat me that way and my brother dodged a bullet when they broke up. He tried to stay friends but she kept on going "hey we are getting along, we should get back together" and he started to avoid her after a while because she kept on bringing it up and he had made it clear they were done. She did become a crazy ex because she came to my house and trashed his bedroom and her intention was to get his attention so he would call her and ask her to help him clean it up but instead he called his new friend who is a girl and she found out and got mad. Then she was bragging about what she did to my brother only for a rumor to start and everyone thought she was crazy because they thought she broke his window, slashed his mattress, etc. and everyone was telling my brother good thing he broke up with her because she is nuts. I was harsh about it because I told my mom my brother should just leave it alone and let kids think whatever because it serves her right but my mom didn't agree and said she just needed counseling so she was telling my brother he needs to go to school and tell everyone what really happened. But even then I didn't care for controllers and abusers and didn't want to be near them but it was ironic I got into a relationship with one and didn't realize it. But I wouldn't let him dictate who I can talk to online. I wouldn't let him control me either so I would wait until he was gone before I would talk to my parents on the phone so he couldn't get mad at me about it and butt in and want to know what we talked about. I let him call me self centered and not give in. It was as if I was defiant because I wouldn't let him control me. I thought he was paranoid anyway. I added that to my red flag list, too paranoid.

My husband is fine with it. He doesn't care who I talk to online and what groups I go to. He doesn't want to go to either of them because he as social anxiety so people make him anxious. He has gone to my support group a couple times when they would do a pot luck but that's it and he talked to men and women there.

My dad did Hood to coast here when I was a kid and he had women friends whom he met on his team and they had their own husbands and their husbands didn't care if they were friends with my dad and one of them worked for my father and then she quit her job. My mom didn't care that he had friends that were women. One time his former fiance dropped by at our house with her husband and children and they visited all day. My dad also has a friend out in Wisconsin who is a girl and she was married to his friend and they divorced.

I guess where I come from, you can be friends with anyone no matter what gender they are so to me to to dictate who your partner can talk to and be friends with is foreign to me so it feels controlling so I would be out of there too if my partner started to say I couldn't talk to someone because they are not a female.

Just a quick thanks to all of you. Though I would have a total shutdown when I first posted, just driving myself insane doubting myself and whether or not I did one/multiple things / everything wrong.

You made me feel like I wasnt alone. Like its ok to have boundaries and preferences and in short individuality. In a way have me the strength to stand by them. So thanks. It helped more than you know.

Now I'm proud I stood by my convictions for once.
I just wish he would leave me alone...

When she is like "You are a man, you must provide me X, Y and Z because I am the woman"; and showing such gender-based entitlements.

When she asks "How much is your salary? / How much you make?" (I have been asked this literally on a first date, twice).

When she is like "If you don't/do do that, then no sex for you this week" = This would warrant an immediate break up for me, in other term she views sex as a reward/punishment/blackmailing tool for a wanted action instead of something she equally desires to do it with her man. Disgusting.

When she keeps bragging how many guys are desperate for her.

Eek what? Damn those were some pretentious and simultaneously insecure women ...

Confusing

When she asks "How much is your salary? / How much you make?" (I have been asked this literally on a first date, twice).

When she is like "If you don't/do do that, then no sex for you this week" = This would warrant an immediate break up for me, in other term she views sex as a reward/punishment/blackmailing tool for a wanted action instead of something she equally desires to do it with her man. Disgusting.

When she asks "How much is your salary? / How much you make?" (I have been asked this literally on a first date, twice).

When she is like "If you don't/do do that, then no sex for you this week" = This would warrant an immediate break up for me, in other term she views sex as a reward/punishment/blackmailing tool for a wanted action instead of something she equally desires to do it with her man. Disgusting.

I usually end up mentioning that on the first date anyway.When I was dating a slightly nympho girl I tried to use sex as an incentive. It didn't work when she correctly worked out that I would have given her sex anyway.

After she dumped me I was able to use her horniness as a way to get her back. I basically said "No sex for you unless we resume our relationship". It worked. For about a week. Then she dumped me again. Then she stopped talking to me because she thought I might try the same trick again.