A girlfriend is not a lost puppy.

Post Reply New Topic

The natural state of being is not growing up in a void. That's how it is for NT and ND people. Culture influences people but that doesn't mean that someone who grew up without any social interaction will be more natural.

When people on here (who are presumably mostly ND) reply to you, most disagree with you. But it's more common that they just ignore you instead of replying.
If hardly anyone here agrees with your views on relationships, your kind of relationships obviously is not what most people here are looking for.


3 studies done by the same author. You?


And that's esoteric bs.
If you never communicate, you can not verify that what you think the other person thinks or feels is actually what they think or feel and not a product of your fantasy. Just because you feel you can mind-read doesn't prove you can.

There are different kinds of relationships and dating isn't always necessary to start one. What you describe is obsessing about someone and imagining you can read their mind. It is not a relationship, however. It's a (likely) one-sided obsession.

Thank you for saying that nicely!

I think it does. Courtship is the way nature makes sure that animals (and humans) reproduce. It doesn't need any learning because nature has made sure that animals will always reproduce. Therefore, the cultural norms relating to courtship (dating) are just the majority's way of making sure they have advantages over minorities.



So, you mean that people's opinions relate to what is true and false? Wouldn't we still believe in a flat earth if the majority's opinions were always true?



That both asexuality and GID is more common in ASD (and neurodiversity) is well-known and has been published in several articles. The reason why I linked mine is because they actually explain WHY this is the case. Asexuality in NDs is linked to finding sexual intercourse disgusting, and to other neurotypical relationship preferences. GID is more common in ASD (and neurodiversity) because the issues that determine gender are different, and non-cisgender identity is actually linked to several neurodiverse relationship traits. The article about infatuation & attachment used a published scale (the IAS) to show that infatuation was higher in ASD (and neurodiversity), and also to show how attachment was built. All three studies used large datasets, several magnitudes larger than typical ASD studies.

And, of course, the studies were hypothesis-driven, and not data mining studies.



We both have online monologue "channels", so I find it highly unlikely it is one-sided.

Also, I never claimed I could mind-read. Mind-to-mind communication relies on sending messages that can be received by the other person, not mind-reading. I long wondered why so many NDs have an internal dialogue (talk to themselves), and a reasonable hypothesis is that what you think in the internal dialogue is what gets transmitted on the mind-to-mind communication channel, and so the purpose of "talking to yourself" is to have a dialogue with your partner.

I'm also working on an article about mind-to-mind communication. My raw data clearly suggests this is linked to NDs, and quite a few comments related directly to mind-to-mind communication issues that I've experienced. This is also likely linked to psychosis, and the pathologization of "hearing voices". Psychosis, schizotypal and schizophrenia all are linked to neurodiversity.

A lot more of ASD research needs to be hypothesis-driven and not data-mining.

People are more likely to comment if they definitely disagree with something than if they have not come

across something before and are unsure about it. It should not be assumed that everyone who does not

comment is ignoring what has been put. Sometimes I do not know what to say in response or am thinking

the post over.

I believe people should mostly go with their gut feeling.

If their gut feeling involved “a crush from afar,” so be it.

To me, not much is accomplished “from afar.” If I like someone, I want to talk to that person.

Courtship is completely innate for some species, but not for others. A songbird that didn't hear other birds singing when it grew up isn't able to sing and won't be able to attract a mate.
Humans are not the only species where courtship is partly learned and where mating strategy can depend on past experience and external circumstances in addition to genetics. We just happen to be the only species that has culture.


People's opinions about what they want relate to what they actually want. Of course you can't make the earth flat by believing it is flat.


Yes, that they're more common is well known. Still the majority of people with ASD are not asexual. And the majority of perpetually single people on this forum seem to be looking for a relationship that actually involves interacting with the other person. Some may prefer to take things a bit slower than the average NT but the goal is still more similar to a 'normal' relationship than some purely mental/spiritual connection.

I'm not claiming that on average what NT and ND people want in a relationship is exactly the same, but you are the only person I've seen/heard write/talk about wanting the kind of relationship you do. Therefore I won't believe that it is the majority or a big minority of people with ASD.


I'm not sure what you mean or are referring to or if you are replying to something else than what I meant by that comment.


To have any evidence of this you'd need to verify that the thought you believe to have received from your partner truly existed in your partners head and that you had no other way than mind to mind communication of knowing or guessing it.
If I want to, I can have an internal dialogue with myself or any other real or fictional person I want to that (kind of) feels like I'm having an actual dialogue with this other person. In reality my brain creates both sides of the dialogue (Or at least I have no reason to believe that a fictional character is really sending messages to my brain or that any person I know would want to play that fictional character when they may not know this fictional character or care for it).


You'd need to collect evidence that the mind-to-mind communication actually took place, not just that there are people who think they can do it. That thinking they can do it is related to psychosis and similar conditions is something you will likely find in your data.
To verify that it is actual communication and not a dialogue made up by one brain and believed to be communication with another brain, you'd need to show that the same thoughts were present in the other brain and that there was no other way of guessing these thoughts correctly.
You'd also need to show that it works often and exactly enough that it is very unlikely to have happened by chance.
If mind-to-mind communication exists it would also at least theoretically be measurable (practically technologies needed to measure it could be impossible to think up with today's knowledge).
If it existed it'd be some form of information-transfer and your brain would be a gauge able to measure it.
Ultimately, even if not now but in the future when it would be more feasible to do so, the goal of a scientist who wants to prove the existence of mind-to-mind communication should be to make it measurable.


I can actually agree on that one. Data-mining can be useful for generating hypothesis but it is sometimes done in a way that it is bound to find something and that something may not be replicable.

I do not think that ignoring always means disagreement. But I have not yet seen any person on WP say that they want his kind of relationship. I think I've maybe once or twice seen a person on here who agreed on wanting some of the aspects of the kind of relationship he wants (and in one case I'm not sure if that wasn't just an initial misunderstanding about what he meant), but that's it. I've seen many people talk about the kind of relationship they want and usually that's irreconcilable with the kind of relationship he describes.
I don't mind if he has this kind of relationship and is happy with it (provided that the partner experiences it the same way he does or at least isn't bothered by it, in case the mind-to-mind communication does not exist and the relationship purely exists in his imagination)

I am aware that there are more people on here who believe in the supernatural and that there are more people who believe in mind-to-mind connections of some sort and other people who haven't made up their mind. If anyone ever delivers convincing evidence for it's existence I'll change my mind but until then I'll go with, as long as there's no evidence that it exists I have no reason to believe that it does (but I do not claim that I can prove that it doesn't).

Sure, there is a specific context in courtship (like actual songs), but the form, for instance, that songbirds use songs in their courtship, doesn't vary with culture. Dating is about a form, not a specific context. The context is more about how you plan your dates, where you have them and what you do. Therefore, dating is supposedly about a courtship sequence, and because it was invented by the NT majority, it reflects the desires of NTs on how they want to meet a partner. And because many NDs dislike dating, it means it doesn't resonate very well with how they want to meet a partner.



The overrepresentation of asexual itself needs to be explained. Being truly asexual means not reproducing, which in turn means "dead end". Therefore, NDs cannot have higher levels of true asexuality because that would mean neurodiversity would cease to exist, which we know didn't happen. Therefore, this needs to be explained in some other way.



The problem with that is that if you don't know what is possible and the options, you might settle for suboptimal relationships. A problem that clearly exists on this forum. Many people here (and especially guys) are desperate so would pick any possibility of getting a partner.



Sure. I agree. My goal is more to get a few to test it. I don't anticipate a majority would want to involve in it.



Certainly. I think we could easily do this provided we end up in a relationship and want to pursue such a test. At this point, I cannot prove anything.



Certainly.



I don't know if that actually is desirable. There is the confidentially aspect of it. I don't want anybody to be able to listen to our communication.

Well, at least she does exist because the first few years when we played games I saw her several times. I also have two photos of her. And she writes me many "letters" from a dating site where she registered my profile. The profile has no photo and no real description, and I know for sure that such a thing won't generate a lot of correspondence from much younger girls.

In fact, I'm pretty sure she reads this forum too, but she probably won't write anything here.



Mind-to-mind connections are usually really subtle, especially in a more normal relationship, and so it's very hard to prove that they exist and work. It's a lot easier if there are no regular conversations.

It's not unusual to hear famous people that appear to be NDs to talk about a level of communication that doesn't seem to be possible with only typical nonverbal communication. After all, typical nonverbal communication can only express a very limited number of emotions and in a pretty inefficient way.

Aspies that want relationships range from totally non-verbal to those that can almost pass as neurotypical. With such a range, I'd expect the range of acceptable partners to be just as diverse.

You may want to consider your ability to learn and adapt to change. There are certainly advantages to having a more social partner, if you can learn and adapt to a much more intense social experience.

And people here think my biological science understanding of ASD is a crackpot theory.. wow. Just wow.

You honestly believe that telepathy is an ND trait? And that ND people dislike sex? And that traditional dating, courtship, and relationships aren’t possible for us?

You are alone in your thoughts. Almost anyone else here would be easier to teach how to have a text conversation that leads to a date - because almost everyone else here is at least somewhat grounded in reality.

Did I write telepathy anywhere?



The fact that people with ASD are more likely to be asexual has been proved beyond any doubt, and this is especially the case for females.

Does that mean they dislike sex? Not really. It means they dislike bonding with sexual intercourse. Another ND trait is to be hypersexual, but that does NOT include wanting 100s of one-night-stands. At least not naturally. Also, the fact that female NDs are twice as likely to dislike bonding with sexual intercourse means that ND guys seeking ND girls will have better chances if they don't require typical sex.



Never said that. I said many NDs DISLIKE it. Even find it disgusting. When people like you try to make them believe they can become NTs with some magical cure, some will try with extreme stubbornness to fake it all. A few might even succeed like you obviously did.



You don't have to teach me how to do dating. I know that perfectly well, but I strongly dislike the idea of doing such a strange thing.

Only if you have a desire to be something in the real social world. Then you would want a trophy girl (or guy) that will boost your social life.

Not only that, but according to rdos, people who talk to themselves and hear voices are telepathic. Keep in mind that just about everything rdos posts, he makes up himself; from his "statistics" to his "Hypotheses" -- it all originates in his own mind, except for those few website sources that don't completely disagree with him. That is why I rarely engage him any more.

A person once showed up at our church and claimed to have proven telepathically that he owned the church building and all of the land it sat upon. He even went so far as to scratch his signature into the front door and camp out on the doorstep, all the while telling us that we had been served with an eviction notice (again, telepathically), and that the police were on their way to kick us out. It wasn't until he threatened to kill one of us if we didn't leave immediately that the cops answered our code-417 call (which we made by telephone, by the way). They came, talked to him, search his shopping cart, and found a butcher knife with a duct-tape handle. That was enough to haul him in for a psych eval. We haven't seen him since.

This whole mind-to-mind transfer idea is pure hokum, and no one is going to be impressed with claims to the contrary.

For the record, according to Merriam-Webster...

telepathy (n): communication from one mind to another by extrasensory means.

"One mind to another" is mind-to-mind. So, rdos can call the process "Squiddly-Diddly", for all it matters, because what he is describing, by definition, is telepathy.

So, you are discarding the 10,000s people who answered items & surveys about this? Maybe I made that up to?

And, just how exactly can you explain that supernatural beliefs are more common in ASD and NDs (even when being an atheist is too)? Why is psychosis and schizophrenia linked to ASD and neurodiversity? I'd be very eager to hear your "hypothesis" about this, but I suspect I will only get silence or some strange excuse.