The only women my age I would be interested in

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Do you mean Russian girls at large or do you mean mail order brides?

Because I, personally, only have that opinion of mail order brides. I have nothing against dating "normal" Russian girls.

But what about that stereotype? Do they hold this opinion of Russian women at large as well? If so, why?

What is the meaning of the term "multiple regression model"?

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Why would they need to help out one person to maintain their identity? A group can exclude a person while still maintain the identity as a group (which is what Americans seem to be doing).

Good point, it might be mail order brides in general. One of the things is that the quality of life in Russia now is nowhere near as bad as 20-30 years ago so the girls choosing to marry Americans aren't so "desperate" to leave.

Privet! I've spent time in Russia and one of the dynamics that plays into the the issue is that they still have not recovered from the gender disparity that occurred after World War II. In 1950, there were 76 men for every 100 women in the Soviet Union. However, the mass casualties that the Soviet Union suffered during WWII affected men of military age disproportionately and so, the ratio of eligible men to women was even worse. It has been estimated that the ratio of single 18-30 year old women to single 18-30 year old men was better than 2:1. Let's say half the men were married. Even at 2:1 (women to men), if 50% of these men were married then we go from 100 women to 50 men to 75 single women to 25 single men - or 3:1.

With that gender disparity, gender roles flipped from the way they play out in most western nations. Unlike the rest of the world, Russian men used to go to the bars with no money in their pocket and wait for a desperate woman to buy them a drink. Kind of the opposite of the United States for sure.

Those guys usually refused to marry because such a single life appealed to them.

Since then, the ratio between the genders has closed some, but it is still a bit lopsided.

In addition, after three to four generations of this, the idea that women need to find a man has become part of the social consciousness and culture.

But the men of military age during the World War 2 would be elderly now. Why would there be a gender disprity among people of young age or even middle aged?

With that gender disparity, gender roles flipped from the way they play out in most western nations. Unlike the rest of the world, Russian men used to go to the bars with no money in their pocket and wait for a desperate woman to buy them a drink. Kind of the opposite of the United States for sure.

How is it relevant to my question though?

Those guys usually refused to marry because such a single life appealed to them.

Again, how is it relevant to my question? Is it because Americans interpret my situation as "lack of success" while Russians interpret it as "choosing not to marry"? And, ironically, they are more willing to "help out" someone who refuses for the same reason as people don't want to help people that are desperate -- as unfair as it seems?

Since then, the ratio between the genders has closed some, but it is still a bit lopsided.

Why is that, given that wartime generation are now elderly?

In addition, after three to four generations of this, the idea that women need to find a man has become part of the social consciousness and culture.

So are you saying that they weren't actually helping "me" out, but actually they were trying to help out those two single women?

If so, there are plenty of NT men around. So how come they were considering me as an option (in contrast to Americans who always just assume I am not a dating material)?

There's a thing I notice on this forum when guys discuss not being able to find a g/f that there's a heirarchy of physical or mental traits they don't want.
lack of physical attractiveness
timidness
age
ethnicity
religion
mental illness
physical disability etc

Nobody is saying you can't have preferences. I certainly had preferences when I was younger. Infact had I been more open and less picky I would have got married in my early 20s instead of 35.

But (sorry if I sound like a broken down record) the more inclusion criteria + exclusion criteria you apply to a potential female partner the more likely you will be alone for the rest of your life. Keep reminding yourself of that prospect as that is a real possibility,

I live in Australia so I am not going to be much help to you. May I suggest you use your own networks in the Russian community to link up with single Russian immigrant girls in the US and/or dating agencies who represent girls in the old Soviet union (most of whom speak Russian even if they are not ethnically Russian).

None of the people I talked about here were "people close to me". I was talking about people who were "nice enough to talk to me out of pity".

As far as "people close to me", I wouldn't possibly be able to cut them off no matter how much I wish I could. Case in point: right now I am on a train going to my mom's place for winter break, even though I don't really want to. Or another example: back in 2008 I didn't break up with my then-girlfriend even though I wanted to (she ended up breaking up with me herself in 2009).

So I guess if people ARE close to me, then they have that way of trapping me so that I won't walk away. I am only ignoring people that aren't really close.



Thats one thing that people were telling me and it makes no sense. Happiness is ABOUT something. Being in a relationship is a good example of something to be happy about. Otherwise, being happy on my own, makes no sense.



Not sure what you meant by that.

If you meant "purpose in LIFE" then yes I do have purpose in life: I want to be a theoretical physicist, that was my purpose since I was 9.

If you mean "purpose in a RELATIONSHIP" it seems a bit harder to tell what you mean. Because relationship is enjoyble all on its own, without any "outside" purpose. But here are some purposes I can mention:

On short term, I want to feel emotionally supported and not lonely. On a long term I want marriage and kids.



I don't know why others keep assumign I lose sense of myself. Because I don't think I ever do. I always know exactly what I want. It is those other people that set up barriers against my getting it.



That reminds me of my long term relationships in the past, when I kept remembering the good days but couldn't bring them back. But I don't see how it is relevant to my situation now. My situation now is that I can't get a relationship started, while my situation in the past was that I did get it started, it just went downhill.

Speaking of the past, I realized what I can do not to repeat past mistakes. What got it deteriorated in the past is that I started taking the other person for granted. So I should avoid doing it. But, in order to "avoid doing it" I need to have "the other person" on the first place. Right now I can't even get a girlfriend on the first place. So I am stuck.



But some people are able to marry and stay in marriage forever. I want to do the same.

If Russian men refuse to marry Russian women...then Russian women who want to marry become desperate to find a man to marry - ANY man! If you do not see how that is relevant to your question than I give up.

People who wanted to date you, there is no higher intimacy than you would achieve with a partner, i believe.

I was not asking about the behavior of Russian women themselves. I was asking about the behavior of people who wanted to set me up with them. And the person who tried to set me up with the first girl happened to be a man, although the person trying to set me up with the second girl was a woman.

I am bowing out of this thread. I thought I could help, but after literally dozens of posts, some of them literally pages long, making dozens of points in a single post, not a single one of which you have benefited from...what's the point? Good luck in your search. I hope you find what you're looking for.

Privet! I've spent time in Russia and one of the dynamics that plays into the the issue is that they still have not recovered from the gender disparity that occurred after World War II. In 1950, there were 76 men for every 100 women in the Soviet Union. However, the mass casualties that the Soviet Union suffered during WWII affected men of military age disproportionately and so, the ratio of eligible men to women was even worse. It has been estimated that the ratio of single 18-30 year old women to single 18-30 year old men was better than 2:1. Let's say half the men were married. Even at 2:1 (women to men), if 50% of these men were married then we go from 100 women to 50 men to 75 single women to 25 single men - or 3:1.

With that gender disparity, gender roles flipped from the way they play out in most western nations. Unlike the rest of the world, Russian men used to go to the bars with no money in their pocket and wait for a desperate woman to buy them a drink. Kind of the opposite of the United States for sure. Those guys usually refused to marry because such a single life appealed to them. Since then, the ratio between the genders has closed some, but it is still a bit lopsided. In addition, after three to four generations of this, the idea that women need to find a man has become part of the social consciousness and culture.

A big reason why is that sometimes on TV shows Russians are stereotyped to refer to Americans as Capitalists Pigs. I hate capitalism myself but I understand that money makes the world go round. I seen lots of internet vids on shows like World's Dumbest & Ridiculousness &

it seems like Russian men tend to be violate alcoholics. If had a bit of money, a Russian woman would probably find living in the US with me less oppressive & safer than living in Russia despite the US being capitalist. The process of immigrating to the US from Russia was a bit or a lot more difficult than coming to the US from a lot of other countries thou when I was single & had internet friends who had done that or researched the process. I have no clue what it's like now thou.

I think this is a hangover from the cold war, It's a little like media images of Iranians burning American flags, The reality is that in Iran local people have no problem with Americans. Same with Russia. Infact many Russians actually like Trump because he comes across as a strongman like their own leader Putin.

30 years after the Cold War ended, Cold War propeganda is still a major part of American culture. This phenomenon is not unique to America. Propeganda from obsolete wars can hand around inside culture in the same way junk DNA hangs around in your genes.