TOFINE wrote:
Gotitall61 wrote:
My best friend whom I spent a lot of time with daily for a year. He is an aspie. He shutdown and has yet to come out, almost a year has passed. I wonder if he ever meant anything he said. I wonder if he ever felt anything he said he did. He used to say he missed me after a few hours because he liked how he felt with me. I doubt it all now.
Tofine: I understand exactly how you feel. I feel betrayed about not knowing even though my head sort of understands why he did not tell me. Painful.
I can relate. I miss someone I thought was one of my closest friends, close by my Aspie definition anyway. He is also an Aspie. Similar thing to you. He was having a really tough time and bad timing wise I was too. I got overwhelmed from my own stuff, mixed with trying to process and help him with his. I flipped out because I was trying hard not to shut down and we had a terrible, messed up set of miscommunication which I just made worse by perseverating on it and trying to fix when by then he had shut down because his crisis was really touch, not that mine wasn't. I know I am being vague, but not fare to my former friend to divulge his personal life online. Anyway, I have tried after several months of just leaving him alone to contact him and nothing. He shut me out before but that time it wasn't over a misunderstanding. Then a year later he sent me a friend request on fb (he had unfriended me when he had shut down).
Now I am both mad at him and miss him. If he were NT, then duh obviously he was never my true friend. But as an Aspie, he shut down and I stressed him out. Maybe he will contact me again someday but maybe not so I have just had to let him go. It sucks. I miss him every day. We haven't lived in the same town for like 3 years but we used to talk and joke over the phone or via text about every few months. I think I am most sad that I thought he and I would always be friends, but I was wrong. If I don't shur down from it, the feelings are actually overwhelming.
Anyway...