Qualities you DON'T want in a guy/girl?

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MissConstrue
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25 Aug 2010, 12:52 pm

- Sexist

- Racist

- Homophobic

- Stinky

- Politically conservative though I don't mind him being somewhere in the middle or left.

- Disgusting (by that I mean picks his nose and farts in front of me.)

- Smokes

- Doesn't like cats or dogs

- Self absorbed

- Don Juan..sorry but I prefer a one on one relationship.

- Belives in blasting his rap music in the car...I hate guys who do this.

- Gay...I mean how are we going to have a good sexual relationship if he's gay?

- Religion is a complex issue. I don't hate anyone who's religious but I can't stand the type of people who expect others to believe or subjugate themselves into the same faiths as themselves.

- Alcoholic/drug addict.

- Bureaucrat......

- Works for the CIA...though I guess that may come in handy.

- Works for the police department....sorry but I will not be policed in my own home.

- Arguementative. We may have disagreements but I'd rather come to a home than a battle field.

- Name caller. I don't want a guy ever calling me a b***h, slut, or whatever. It's desrespectful.


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Jono
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25 Aug 2010, 3:29 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Jono wrote:
And what is the difference between "someone with a job who lives in the adult world" as you put it and "someone with everything going for them"?


You don't have to be perfect to get a job and live on your own or with flatmates.
Someone with everything going for them is obviously someone perfect.

Quote:
I'm 30 and I'm still living with my parents because I started earning a salary only recently, since June. This is mostly because I've been studying at university and chose to have a career in academics. Studying for a post graduate degree becomes harder if you decide to have a formal job because you have less time to work on your degree, that's a fact. Even now, I decided to get a job at university so that I can work art time while studying full time for my PhD. Are you telling me that I'm staying with my parents because life is easier that way and I'm just lazy? My parents built a cottage on the property that was initially for me but then they decided not to allow me to stay in it because so they can let it out to a tenant. I've been actually been pretty angry about that because it then leaves me with no independence but everyone I've spoken to about that defends them in saying they need the money.

Tell me something, what do suggest I do? Seeing as I've been living with my parents and would not have had anywhere else to stay, seeing as I actually want independence?


It differs from case to case. Studying a ph.D certainly doesn't warrant being a loser and I wouldn't count it as "not living in the adult world" as you're too busy with your study to hold down a job, or can't escape the family dynamics.

When it comes down to it its more the family dynamics thing which puts people off. I don't want to date "Someones son who fights with his brothers and sisters in the next room" or "someones son who still lives under mumsy doing all the things, paying the bills, doing the chores, cooking the food so seems about 12" I want to date a man in his own right. Yeah, you can be pedantic and say men who have left home are still somoene son but that is not what I mean.

Someone living at home, doing all their own chores and food etc, paying their way with bills is different. The only thing that would put me off is having sex with the parents in the next room, or having to deal with communicating with the parents.

Basically in many womens eyes, living at home just makes it seem like you can't cope with life. Not saying thats the case, but thats the first impression many women get.

A doctor qualification in the working obviously is a whole different case - as those take several years and you can't expect someone to be out of that as young as normal degrees.


Fair enough. Keep in mind though that there are also some people who have been unable to find jobs as well and are living with parents. This can be especially true for aspies.



AnonymousAnonymous
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26 Aug 2010, 4:08 pm

-Atheist {I'll consider agnostics, as long as they are NOT overtly agnostic}

-Racist

-Sexist

-Homophobic

-Smells like never showers/never does laundry

-Lazy

-Smokes

-Alcoholic

-Drug addict

-Politically conservative

-Self absorbed

-Shallow

-Does disgusting things

-Doesn't like animals

-Overtly meat eater

-Maneater

-Argues

-Name caller

-Is a liar

-Believes in cheating in excess


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Master_Pedant
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27 Aug 2010, 12:18 am

- Physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive
- Has an emotionally charged and easily offended blind faith
- Has a mind so open their brain has fallen out
- Has a mind too closed for facts to get in
- Superficiality
- Disinterest in intellectual discussion
- Homophobic, racist, or sexist
- Manipulative
- Smoker
- Socially conservative
- Immature or socially ultra-libertine

I'm very tired, I'm sure I could think of more. Basically, anyone who cannot stand my intellectually systematic, technocratic, and somewhat strident social democratic lectures and my fierce anti-theism.



Jono
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27 Aug 2010, 3:55 pm

I can't think of many. But here it go's:

-Unwilling to accept me the I am.

-Not interested in intelligent conversations.

-Someone who messes me around, not genuine in their feelings.

Those are three. I can't think of any more at this time.



Craig28
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27 Aug 2010, 4:04 pm

Months ago, I asked a woman out. She blew me off. It turns out that she thought I wanted sex with her. As pretty as she is, she obviously thinks too highly of herself. So woman who make assumptions because they want to feel powerful and in control are the ones I would avoid.

A few weeks ago, I was given the knowledge of another woman. She wants to see my picture before we even meet up. I blew that off because I know she wants to blow me off if she doesn't like the look of me. She wants to be in control, to be the one to turn me down. She's playing head games. I want nothing to do with woman who do that.



Adrien
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27 Aug 2010, 6:33 pm

Craig28 wrote:
Months ago, I asked a woman out. She blew me off. It turns out that she thought I wanted sex with her. As pretty as she is, she obviously thinks too highly of herself. So woman who make assumptions because they want to feel powerful and in control are the ones I would avoid.

A few weeks ago, I was given the knowledge of another woman. She wants to see my picture before we even meet up. I blew that off because I know she wants to blow me off if she doesn't like the look of me. She wants to be in control, to be the one to turn me down. She's playing head games. I want nothing to do with woman who do that.


Wanting physical attraction doesn't make you a bad person. It's perfectly understandable for her to at least know what you look like IMO.



Homer_Bob
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27 Aug 2010, 8:14 pm

Where to begin?

-One who's sexually loose and will sleep around with anyone
-Has any children
-Is bi
-Is Superficial
-Doesn't work or lives off the state
-Likes guys with a dark/ bad side or one who's turned on by fights.
-Is bipolar
-Smokes cigarettes, is an alcoholic or does any drugs.
-Has any sort of criminal record(I don't believe in 2nd chances).
-Is basically a user who dates guys based on how much they can gain from him.
-Is immature, loves gossip and is still in the teeny booper/party state of mind.
-Is basically an ignoramus(swears all the time, has no manners, poor hygiene).
-Is a phony and liar.


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27 Aug 2010, 9:12 pm

My main turn off is doormats. Not to be confused with shyness, I find that cute.

I establish my boundaries from the get go. If a woman has none and is super passive, then I feel unconsciously compelled to string her along like a marionette. This is the opposite of what I want from I relationship, but under those circumstances I just can't help that they bring out my sadistic side. If I do however manage to find a spine within all of that puddy, then the urge stops. I'm really quite sweet....really.

PS I hate smokers.


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foreveryoung
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27 Aug 2010, 9:58 pm

My turnoffs (and yes I'm admittedly shallow):

Women that I don't find physically attractive (Keep in mind I find Lilith from Cheers and Scully from X-Files attractive, so I'm not looking for playboy models or gucci/club type women.)

Women who have a personality that gets in the way of their physical attractiveness.

Btw, HomerBob, I don't work and live off the state, does that make me a bad person because I can't handle any type of job?



Surya
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28 Aug 2010, 1:12 am

nthach wrote:
...Drug use - I'll let weed slide, but ONLY if you're a functional stoner. If you smoke more than Dave Chappelle or Cheech and Chong, GTFO
Excessive drinking. There's nothing worse than a girl who is too drunk to stand up....
Addicted to Juicy Couture or other designer labels. Granted, I like my expensive stuff but some girls take things like Juicy, Coach, et al a little TOO far. If you can't live without your Couture, do it in moderation or pay your own Nordy's bill.



umm.. can you explain this.. I am not sure if it is all about drugs.. or what.. I am thinking designer drugs..
and tripping out on lights....

dude..what kind of women have you known?

maybe I am tired..
:oops:


Surya wrote:
Wow..

I think I need to raise my expectations or think more about what I do not want.
Mine not list is kinda short compared to some here.

1. Dead
2. A silverback
3. Old (as in older than me or old acting - different from mature to me)
4. Racist (I think that is kind of something most would say, so not usre if it should need to be listed)
5. Over indulgent (if that makes sense)


thought of a couple more...

6. wants spawn
7. calls me rude for not talking 24/7
8. hates smokers



Surya
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28 Aug 2010, 1:19 am

foreveryoung wrote:
There's a difference between someone that is fully capable and chooses to not work and live at home, and someone who doesn't have any skills that would warrant a job that pays more than minimum wage and doesn't have the skills to survive on their own anyway.

Women don't differentiate the two, which is why when I do get dates, I lie to women and tell them I work at home as an editor and contributor for websites. I'm not going to let my incompetencies prevent me from having female company and getting laid.


Don't forget - may have had a meltdown.. because some could have been able to slightly function.. or even function fine.. until the last straw
- I would have liked to have had the option to lean on family at times in my life, but I didn't draw the 'correct cards'.. I actually, like hearing that people can live with their family as adults or after living on their own..
- I have also known plenty of people that thought they were better than their friends that moved back in with ma and pa... but were still receiving help in one way or another from 'ma or pa', yet they thought they were better..

hmmm... maybe that will turn into another ..'not' ..

ohh yea..stop lumping us all together..


Jono wrote:
my PhD.


...ummm you do realise that you said the 3 magic letters right?
'They' lied about it being 3 magic words..



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28 Aug 2010, 1:25 am

This thread still kills me every time I see it.

If I've learned anything from the last 10 years and 20+ women I've seen during that time, it's "Don't Make Assumptions!". Feelings are not rational, they don't conform to lists. Take chances on people, they often pay off even if only in a learning experience.


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nthach
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28 Aug 2010, 2:02 am

Surya wrote:
nthach wrote:
...Drug use - I'll let weed slide, but ONLY if you're a functional stoner. If you smoke more than Dave Chappelle or Cheech and Chong, GTFO
Excessive drinking. There's nothing worse than a girl who is too drunk to stand up....
Addicted to Juicy Couture or other designer labels. Granted, I like my expensive stuff but some girls take things like Juicy, Coach, et al a little TOO far. If you can't live without your Couture, do it in moderation or pay your own Nordy's bill.



umm.. can you explain this.. I am not sure if it is all about drugs.. or what.. I am thinking designer drugs..
and tripping out on lights....

dude..what kind of women have you known?

maybe I am tired..
:oops:




I've been around too many drunkards, materialistic snobs - I knew of a girl who would only date this guy ONLY and ONLY if he bought her a $2,000 Chloe handbag, and people who use hard drugs or snort Xanaxs all day.

And my university is a nightmare for me socially. The people who are in the party scene are either in fraternities/sororities or hipsters. And of course the girls there are typical city girls.



Surya
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28 Aug 2010, 10:48 am

nthach wrote:
Surya wrote:
nthach wrote:
...Drug use - I'll let weed slide, but ONLY if you're a functional stoner. If you smoke more than Dave Chappelle or Cheech and Chong, GTFO
Excessive drinking. There's nothing worse than a girl who is too drunk to stand up....
Addicted to Juicy Couture or other designer labels. Granted, I like my expensive stuff but some girls take things like Juicy, Coach, et al a little TOO far. If you can't live without your Couture, do it in moderation or pay your own Nordy's bill.



umm.. can you explain this.. I am not sure if it is all about drugs.. or what.. I am thinking designer drugs..
and tripping out on lights....

dude..what kind of women have you known?

maybe I am tired..
:oops:




I've been around too many drunkards, materialistic snobs - I knew of a girl who would only date this guy ONLY and ONLY if he bought her a $2,000 Chloe handbag, and people who use hard drugs or snort Xanaxs all day.

And my university is a nightmare for me socially. The people who are in the party scene are either in fraternities/sororities or hipsters. And of course the girls there are typical city girls.


OOhhh.. I ended up having to googling that stuff..
No wonder I was sooo confused..
I thought you were on about drugs the whole time.. not umm what some people call fashion :oops:

By Nordy, I thought you meant this company that sells lights for cars http://www.tradekey.com/profile_view/ui ... Co-Ltd.htm

But, really, who the hell needs a $2,000 handbag? I looked at some of that stuff.. and
most of it looks like things you would find at a 2nd hand shop.



Craig28
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28 Aug 2010, 11:00 am

Adrien wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
Months ago, I asked a woman out. She blew me off. It turns out that she thought I wanted sex with her. As pretty as she is, she obviously thinks too highly of herself. So woman who make assumptions because they want to feel powerful and in control are the ones I would avoid.

A few weeks ago, I was given the knowledge of another woman. She wants to see my picture before we even meet up. I blew that off because I know she wants to blow me off if she doesn't like the look of me. She wants to be in control, to be the one to turn me down. She's playing head games. I want nothing to do with woman who do that.


Wanting physical attraction doesn't make you a bad person. It's perfectly understandable for her to at least know what you look like IMO.


Its perfectly okay for a woman to know what I look like, BUT, its not okay to know what I look like and not like me see her picture. Its her way of controlling the situation, when she doesn't like my picture she'll blow me off and any asking for her picture would be blocked by a "I'm not interested" bloody head game. I may be an Aspie, but I am not a dumb ass.