Im in love with someone who has Aspergers

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wait a bloody moment here.....you were going to give him a note. A note. A NOTE!?!?!?

You were going to tell him via a NOTE that you liked him?

Well you're back with your boyfriend........er fiance and the wedding is in January? Woah.

Hey Caramel, do you need a photographer for the wedding? I just happen to be one. I'm also relativley low priced....about 2-3 hundred per hour, and unless it goes over 6 hours I charge one thousand dollars for the whole shindig.

anyhow. lemme know if you need a photographer, cause I need the tuition money(and no this is not a money grab operation, it's a serious vesture that has been a part of my life for many a year)

i'm not so sure what makes me happy anymore (lol i'm a libra by the way and i think all this damn stupid indecisiveness is due to that fact- so before anyone thinks i'm anymore of an idiot than i am, understand this lol and look it up if you don't believe me!) I still don't believe that people can change so quickly so i'm still very apprehensive of the whole thing but i'm attempting to start forth with him again instead of not giving faith a chance (i'm a dirty pessimist )....

although i promised my boyfriend that i would forget this guy that i worked with....today i ended up working close to him and he talked to me... and he said my name... and he smiled at me... and he was very sweet to me... in fact i'm a little bit freaked out by the whole thing because it was a COMPLETELY different change from the prior days events... he even kept looking at me and engaging me in conversation... so i've come to only a couple plausable explanations for his behavior... either he's slightly schizo or perhaps he's bi-polar? i don't know exactly....or maybe it was because i was ignoring him... or something a friend told me that maybe he was stressed from the holidays.... sighhhh... not good for an almost married idiot with a whole mess of problems....hahahaha

that is what matters at the end of the day isn't it, Azsxdc? funny its the easiest thing to do but its also the hardest thing....but i'm trying, i guess thats all that counts afterall!

hahahaha i actually was... in fact when we were talking today (intiated by him entirely might i add) i said to him "so you were that busy yesterday? i had to chase you down? lol...." and he said "yeah he was running around crazy".... HEY! lol i thought the whole note thing was the most passive, sweetest, shyest but cutest way of approaching him.. yess yesss i know i was taking it all the way back to grade school but i was too happy to write the note because i feel that i'm better verbalizing on paper than in person so i felt safe and happy doing it that way...

back with him yes, engaged in january- perhaps, but no wedding for many many many years! lol... were both broke and i'm trying to go back to school and so is he so i guess were postponing it for a while but i definitely will keep you in mind, friend! i promise! ay, you know you're a man of many trades, you are.... and i respect you and tequila and several other friends in this thread very much! you all maintain my business better than i do and i hate to admit that because i try to be so self-sufficient in real life but its true...

i think maybe im rushing things a bit... and as i mentioned prior i'm very very indecisive so i might step back and look at the situation before attempting to collect a ring, or saying I do i think... but all my life has to have some closure before new years so better get thinking, right!

you are now the 4th or so person that I know who is engaged, which is great news, mainly because most of them are friends of mine, and only one has refused my photography services, because she got someone else, course I didn't even find out she was engaged. my ohter friend hasn't set a date yet, and the other person I doubt I'll do since I don't know the girl....that well.

yeah, but I'm proud of you Caramel. I think and probably so will Tequilla that you've made a good choice in going back to the other guy. When I first started reading this thread, I figured that this was another love sick teenager with issues, and then when I read through it all, I realized the girl has a good head on her shoulders, she's just confused.

Good Luck.

Sir Gamester.

No, I don't think you've made a good choice. I own you now. You're mine and you will be my personal slave... forrever! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem. Yes, I think you've made the right decision. If being back together with him makes you happy then go for it by all means. You should look to make yourself happy first and foremost. It's your life after all. Now, go and spend some time with your bloke.

Best of luck, caramel.

lol it is great news isn't it? i'm happy that me and him are both ready.... i think that since we are now (versus when we tried to get married before) it was added stress...awww do you consider me a friend of yours? lol you're so kind to me! we haven't set a date but i'd certainly love to talk about it more in-depth with you when me and him discuss things a bit more...

awwwww you're proud of me? awwwww! i definitely do think i made a good choice! i think following my heart is best and in this situation i think thats what i maintained- rejection or not rejection....naahhhh not so much love sick as much as deeply respected. i respected everything about him and i felt something like love when i first talked to him.... i was definitely more confused than i've been in a while but i don't aim to ruin anyones life and i ALWAYS have good intentions even when it seems near impossible. so i don't necessarily think of it as a rejection but more as a confirmation of my heart. lol thank you so much gamester, i think you and tequila both have helped me to realize what was already in front of me and challenge myself to find the answer instead of letting it run on endlessly without being finalized.

hahahaha you do?? you do??? hahahaha i will be your personal slave- what can i get for you master? ahahahaha you are too much fun!

i think i've made the right decision! i'm glad it all resolved itself as i was hoping for.... i'm always up for a different direction or change to myself whenever one poses itself...its funny... i never look out for myself. NEVER. and i should start sometime soon.... hehehe i would spend some time with him if he didn't live so damn far from me (lol 2 hours away isn't too too bad!

thank you too tequila! i feel like several of you are my big brothers and that you've done nothing but look out for me like a friend should. i've never even had a "real" friend look out for me as much as you all have done, so unselfishely! i appreciate it more than you'lll ever know!! ! you'll all be in my heart for how you've helped me!!

so in an attempt to gain some closure over everything- as i wished to from the beginning, i pulled him to the side today because i found the perfect time. i explained to him that i liked him and he told me that he had an online girlfriend and that he wanted to "clear up any confusion that i might've had"...and he said it just like that... it sounded colder the way he put it and i said "thats okay- i have a boyfriend too-- but i really just wanted a friend. if you want we can hang out as friends then sometime" and he said "welll i'll be busy for a while so probably not ( ).....

i found it funny more than mortifying and i found it even more funny that he managed to sound ignorant as hell when i was being nothing but niice. meanwhile after i felt a bit anxious, i was happy as hell. i think i needed to be rejected in order to know that the choice i'm about to make was the right one (just to be sure)....i think the thing about it all that i found particularly interesting (which makes me question if there is much difference between aspies and NTs) is the fact that he either had put off signals this whole time that he didn't intend or maybe he really did like me at some point? i like to finish a situation with a critique so i'm guess its either of those two conclusions.... he did too many things that would portray he'd liked me so i'm still a bit confused...

but honestly, the feeling of apprehensive relief that i had post telling him was the greatest! i should've listened to you all from the beginning! that would've nipped that in the bud really quickly! but i'm happy i found the strength with myself to ask. and i'm very happy that he has someone he loves that much- we as people need more love like that-- i just wish she wasn't online and could be here for him in real life. that would be great (and amidst his ignorance in the situation) i would really want this for him or at least a relationship with someone he can physically touch. being in an internet relationship is no joke adn it can make you feel lonely a bit at times so as long as he's happy thats all that counts!

Thank you, I feel honored to feel like a big brother, though technically, you're gonna have to consider me a younger older brother, I'm 19. but thank you, nice to know that those of us who helped made an impresssion.

hehehehe as you should! awwww man i'm older and i STILL don't have as much intuition as you? lol mannnn that sucks so bad! you're really wise for your age but i know for a fact (i'm the same way) that its hard to transfer such earnest, perfectly thought out advice to your own love life eh? lol... i like that about myself- that i always appreciate those who make an impression on me.... i always appreciate that and i think about it often...

i haven't been on here in a little bit because i've been working like a dog, lol, but i still think about all of you so much! everytime i see him at work i think about all that you have said to me! lol its funny too because i think i'm adapting some of your wisdom when it comes to talking to him... i thought it would be awkward after telling him how i felt but we had a few small mini-conversations today about random things and i find that we get along just fine- if not better and i still look forward to seeing him - can't feel complete without that huh (lol j/k!)....

i also noticed that he seems to look at me a lot more and that we run into each other more... i'm not sure if thats care of me tellling him how i felt and it making him feel comfortable or because he thought about what i said or what... in fact i notice he now gives me lingering stares coupled with smiles and now goes out of his way to look at me..... in fact i think he heard me talking to another male co-worker about getting married and i hadn't realized he was near and he seemed sort of down... maybe just overanalyzing but i think maybe he realized that i really did like him and that if i can't have him that way i'd love to be his companion....

PS: Gamester- you and Tequila were absolutely right! i do feel better even after the fact and being rejected is all in the back of my head....

PPS: I was even going to buy him a cupcake for his birthday tomorrow just as a nice friend thing to do! i love when somebody acts like they care on my birthday and i hope he appreciates it- not that he gets freaked out or anything!

PPPS: I probably should've made this a side post but my fiance (who's aware of everything, by the way) seems to believe that he really really likes me still but wasn't sure if i was genuine, or something or another... lol don't know why i said that but we were talking about it today so i felt it funny to mention his take on things...he even said he looked down today but a lot of times i think he's contemplative and he could've been down about anything! i can't help that feeling of dread that perhaps i prematurely gave up but i don't want to think like that.... i'd like to think he's happy and okay and that thru my loving my fiance i can be as happy and okay myself.... optimism isn't so bad afterall!

Geee.. thank you Caramel, that made me blush and that doesn't happen often. I've always been told I'm mature for my age.

I'm honoured, really I am. As long as I (and I'm sure Gamester will agree with this) can help people out whenever we can, that's really all that matters.

hehehehe no problem! lol i really do thank you both a lot (lol and i'm glad i could make you blush! lol) you are very mature for your age and you should consider it a blessing. there are people out there older than both of us that lack as much wisdom as you (i've been told the same)....so even though i won't be home on the internet tonight, i wish you both a good new year and i'll be back on tomorrow!

I'm glad you are, Tequila (as you should be!)! ! Its a wonderful feeling helping people out when you can and those who need the help or guidance when they are lost are extra thankful! I adore people like you both! Good new year to you too, Tequila! Can't wait to talk to you both soon!