Tips for the men around here.

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DerStadtschutz
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29 Oct 2012, 10:52 pm

billiscool wrote:
let me be clear Im not talking about hitting on women like trying to ask her out.
Im talking about just simple human communication like how are you.
how are doing, or just small talk. But thank god there are alot of good women out there that don't
act like elitist. Don't snub men because they don't find them attractive. You guys can keep making all the excuses
for all your rude elitist women all you want. I'm staying away from them kind of women.


nobody's making excuses for anybody. You tried asking why you're having problems talking with women, and we're trying to tell you why. Now you're trying to argue with us, implying that you somehow know better than we do. Well, if that's the case, then why the hell did you bother asking in the first place?

Also, nobody's telling you to pursue women who treat you like that. We're simply trying to explain to you why they might do that.



billiscool
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29 Oct 2012, 10:56 pm

MXH wrote:
i know what you're talking about. its not rude elitist, its personal choice and freedom

Of course we all have freedom to choice and what not. But it is what it is. If man said he hates black, yes he has the freedom to hate blacks but he still a racist. So yes, women do have the right to snub me and not talk to me or any other guys or girls for that matter.
Sure. But it doesn't change the fact that some of them are elitist snobs.



DerStadtschutz
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29 Oct 2012, 11:04 pm

*sigh*

I give up...



billiscool
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29 Oct 2012, 11:05 pm

DerStadtschutz wrote:
billiscool wrote:
let me be clear Im not talking about hitting on women like trying to ask her out.
Im talking about just simple human communication like how are you.
how are doing, or just small talk. But thank god there are alot of good women out there that don't
act like elitist. Don't snub men because they don't find them attractive. You guys can keep making all the excuses
for all your rude elitist women all you want. I'm staying away from them kind of women.


nobody's making excuses for anybody. You tried asking why you're having problems talking with women, and we're trying to tell you why. Now you're trying to argue with us, implying that you somehow know better than we do. Well, if that's the case, then why the hell did you bother asking in the first place?

Also, nobody's telling you to pursue women who treat you like that. We're simply trying to explain to you why they might do that.

no this a totaly different subject from me talking to women or trying to get a date. This has nothing to do with me dating.
What this is about is basic human connection. I saying I go up to a woman (have no attractive to her ) and just saying ''hey how are you'' (not hitting on them, not asking them out) and the woman just ignores me and act rude towards me.
Because she doesn't find me attractive, that she can just be rude like that. Im talking about women who act rude towards people they don't like (not attractive).



DerStadtschutz
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29 Oct 2012, 11:11 pm

billiscool wrote:
DerStadtschutz wrote:
billiscool wrote:
let me be clear Im not talking about hitting on women like trying to ask her out.
Im talking about just simple human communication like how are you.
how are doing, or just small talk. But thank god there are alot of good women out there that don't
act like elitist. Don't snub men because they don't find them attractive. You guys can keep making all the excuses
for all your rude elitist women all you want. I'm staying away from them kind of women.


nobody's making excuses for anybody. You tried asking why you're having problems talking with women, and we're trying to tell you why. Now you're trying to argue with us, implying that you somehow know better than we do. Well, if that's the case, then why the hell did you bother asking in the first place?

Also, nobody's telling you to pursue women who treat you like that. We're simply trying to explain to you why they might do that.

no this a totaly different subject from me talking to women or trying to get a date. This has nothing to do with me dating.
What this is about is basic human connection. I saying I go up to a woman (have no attractive to her ) and just saying ''hey how are you'' (not hitting on them, not asking them out) and the woman just ignores me and act rude towards me.
Because she doesn't find me attractive, that she can just be rude like that. Im talking about women who act rude towards people they don't like (not attractive).


how do you know the reason is that she doesn't find you attractive, and how do you know she knows you're not hitting on her? When I'm in public, unless I need information from someone, I generally avoid and ignore all people, unless they try to say something to me first, and even then sometimes I still ignore them. Why? Because I'm out going about my business, and I don't feel like being bothered by people and their stupid s**t.

The other day I was in wal mart, and I was coughing. When I was coughing, I was covering my mouth. After I did this and then touched the cart, a woman approached me and said "that's how germs are spread!" in a very disappointed tone. I just looked at her and said "uh... Okay...?" Then she started to further explain that me touching the cart puts germs on the cart, then little kids touch it, and "that's how germs are spread," again she said. Again, I said "okay" in a confused tone. I don't need a f*****g biology lesson; I know how germs are spread. I also know they're in the air, so me touching the cart is irrelevant, and either way, wtf did she expect me to do? Not cough at all somehow? Run to the restroom frantically to wash my hands immediately after coughing? Not enter wal mart without wearing a plastic bubble? Who the f**k knows? All I know is, I had no desire to talk to her, so I didn't.



cozysweater
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29 Oct 2012, 11:27 pm

8O Maybe point out that this is why we have immune systems? Seriously, you're doing the kids a favor. Better to have the cold at 8 yrs than 80 yrs when it will kill you.



billiscool
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29 Oct 2012, 11:29 pm

DerStadtschutz wrote:
billiscool wrote:
DerStadtschutz wrote:
billiscool wrote:
let me be clear Im not talking about hitting on women like trying to ask her out.
Im talking about just simple human communication like how are you.
how are doing, or just small talk. But thank god there are alot of good women out there that don't
act like elitist. Don't snub men because they don't find them attractive. You guys can keep making all the excuses
for all your rude elitist women all you want. I'm staying away from them kind of women.


nobody's making excuses for anybody. You tried asking why you're having problems talking with women, and we're trying to tell you why. Now you're trying to argue with us, implying that you somehow know better than we do. Well, if that's the case, then why the hell did you bother asking in the first place?

Also, nobody's telling you to pursue women who treat you like that. We're simply trying to explain to you why they might do that.

no this a totaly different subject from me talking to women or trying to get a date. This has nothing to do with me dating.
What this is about is basic human connection. I saying I go up to a woman (have no attractive to her ) and just saying ''hey how are you'' (not hitting on them, not asking them out) and the woman just ignores me and act rude towards me.
Because she doesn't find me attractive, that she can just be rude like that. Im talking about women who act rude towards people they don't like (not attractive).


how do you know the reason is that she doesn't find you attractive, and how do you know she knows you're not hitting on her? When I'm in public, unless I need information from someone, I generally avoid and ignore all people, unless they try to say something to me first, and even then sometimes I still ignore them. Why? Because I'm out going about my business, and I don't feel like being bothered by people and their stupid sh**.

The other day I was in wal mart, and I was coughing. When I was coughing, I was covering my mouth. After I did this and then touched the cart, a woman approached me and said "that's how germs are spread!" in a very disappointed tone. I just looked at her and said "uh... Okay...?" Then she started to further explain that me touching the cart puts germs on the cart, then little kids touch it, and "that's how germs are spread," again she said. Again, I said "okay" in a confused tone. I don't need a f***ing biology lesson; I know how germs are spread. I also know they're in the air, so me touching the cart is irrelevant, and either way, wtf did she expect me to do? Not cough at all somehow? Run to the restroom frantically to wash my hands immediately after coughing? Not enter wal mart without wearing a plastic bubble? Who the f**k knows? All I know is, I had no desire to talk to her, so I didn't.


well, I guess I don't, maybe she's shy. and I can't read a women mind either (some women think ever guy that talk to them are hitting on them) Yeah but you ignore everyone. You don't want to talk to anyone when you are out. you are more of an anti social type more than what Im talking about. Hope your cough gets better. If I talk to a woman and she's rude to me, sometimes I will watch to see how she will treat other people and if she rude to other people that talks to her, then I don't have an issues with her. Im talking about ''elitist'', women who think ( and men too) that just because they don't find someone attractive that they can just be rude toward them. Think of a rich person who think they can treat people who are poor badly. Or pretty popular girls who treat ''nerd guys'' like crap but treat the jocks very well. yes men too can be elitist. Im sure you ran into some men who treat you bad because you weren't part of their group or because you were ''different''.



DerStadtschutz
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29 Oct 2012, 11:34 pm

cozysweater wrote:
8O Maybe point out that this is why we have immune systems? Seriously, you're doing the kids a favor. Better to have the cold at 8 yrs than 80 yrs when it will kill you.


lol, I know. I told my girlfriend about it, and her immediate reaction was "well, that's why they have those antiseptic wipes just inside the door, for germophobes like her."

Either way, I don't know wtf she expected me to do differently. Perhaps I should have just coughed in her ignorant face.



DerStadtschutz
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29 Oct 2012, 11:40 pm

billiscool wrote:
well, I guess I don't, maybe she's shy. and I can't read a women mind either (some women think ever guy that talk to them are hitting on them) Yeah but you ignore everyone. You don't want to talk to anyone when you are out. you are more of an anti social type more than what Im talking about. Hope your cough gets better. If I talk to a woman and she's rude to me, sometimes I will watch to see how she will treat other people and if she rude to other people that talks to her, then I don't have an issues with her. Im talking about ''elitist'', women who think ( and men too) that just because they don't find someone attractive that they can just be rude toward them. Think of a rich person who think they can treat people who are poor badly. Or pretty popular girls who treat ''nerd guys'' like crap but treat the jocks very well. yes men too can be elitist. Im sure you ran into some men who treat you bad because you weren't part of their group or because you were ''different''.


I understand what it is you're complaining about, but based on what I've read, it seems like pretty much all women try to avoid talking to you, and that as a result, you seem to think they're all elitists. I think they simply don't want to be bothered. I mean, maybe it IS that they don't find you attractive, and maybe they do think you're trying to hit on them regardless of how attractive they think you are. I can't say for sure WHY they won't talk to you. I just know that most people I see out and about their business do the same thing I do for the most part. Others seem a little more likely than I to talk to strangers, but it's usually just small talk, or like "hey, where did you find that wrench? I've been looking forever for it." You know, simple information exchange as opposed to casual conversation. The only time I see people engaging in casual conversation is when they clearly already know each other before seeing each other in the store.

I don't think I've ever just approached completely random people for casual conversation. I only ever do that with like coworkers or people I'm fairly certain will want to talk about whatever it is I might have to say.



billiscool
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30 Oct 2012, 12:00 am

DerStadtschutz wrote:
billiscool wrote:
well, I guess I don't, maybe she's shy. and I can't read a women mind either (some women think ever guy that talk to them are hitting on them) Yeah but you ignore everyone. You don't want to talk to anyone when you are out. you are more of an anti social type more than what Im talking about. Hope your cough gets better. If I talk to a woman and she's rude to me, sometimes I will watch to see how she will treat other people and if she rude to other people that talks to her, then I don't have an issues with her. Im talking about ''elitist'', women who think ( and men too) that just because they don't find someone attractive that they can just be rude toward them. Think of a rich person who think they can treat people who are poor badly. Or pretty popular girls who treat ''nerd guys'' like crap but treat the jocks very well. yes men too can be elitist. Im sure you ran into some men who treat you bad because you weren't part of their group or because you were ''different''.


I understand what it is you're complaining about, but based on what I've read, it seems like pretty much all women try to avoid talking to you, and that as a result, you seem to think they're all elitists. I think they simply don't want to be bothered. I mean, maybe it IS that they don't find you attractive, and maybe they do think you're trying to hit on them regardless of how attractive they think you are. I can't say for sure WHY they won't talk to you. I just know that most people I see out and about their business do the same thing I do for the most part. Others seem a little more likely than I to talk to strangers, but it's usually just small talk, or like "hey, where did you find that wrench? I've been looking forever for it." You know, simple information exchange as opposed to casual conversation. The only time I see people engaging in casual conversation is when they clearly already know each other before seeing each other in the store.

I don't think I've ever just approached completely random people for casual conversation. I only ever do that with like coworkers or people I'm fairly certain will want to talk about whatever it is I might have to say.


Well, not every women, I do get along with most older women. You are right I don't know why some of these women won't talk to me there could be thousands of reasons. But another issues I have is ''why do I always get blame'' you know, If a women is not interest in me, why is it always my fault. Ok maybe sometimes it is. Maybe some women are little freak out getting approach by a stranger, I understand. Some women are just plain rude, some are elitist snob, some are just shy and nervous around guys.
I shouldn't say all women that don't talk to me are elitist snobs or rude because I don't know. And if a nice woman does not like me or have no interest then she doesn't but what pissed me off and when people tell me I did something wrong. That I f-cked up.
that what I hate. As a guy I always feel Like I have to so much pressure on me. Like I have to know how to speak to woman and If Im not succesful then people tell me that it's ''my fault'' or 'I shouldn't even talk to them in first place''

If I go to a woman politely and talk about more basic stuff like college,how are you, like that and woman is just plain rude or whatever to me. You know what I hear. I hear this ''you did something wrong'' ''you should have said this'' yet no one ever thinks that maybe just f-king maybe the woman (legit this time) was just rude.
How would like it if you talk to a rude woman and people start calling you a ''loser'' because ''you couldn't get her''
Hope you get what Im saying.



DerStadtschutz
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30 Oct 2012, 12:25 am

billiscool wrote:

Well, not every women, I do get along with most older women. You are right I don't know why some of these women won't talk to me there could be thousands of reasons. But another issues I have is ''why do I always get blame'' you know, If a women is not interest in me, why is it always my fault. Ok maybe sometimes it is. Maybe some women are little freak out getting approach by a stranger, I understand. Some women are just plain rude, some are elitist snob, some are just shy and nervous around guys.
I shouldn't say all women that don't talk to me are elitist snobs or rude because I don't know. And if a nice woman does not like me or have no interest then she doesn't but what pissed me off and when people tell me I did something wrong. That I f-cked up.
that what I hate. As a guy I always feel Like I have to so much pressure on me. Like I have to know how to speak to woman and If Im not succesful then people tell me that it's ''my fault'' or 'I shouldn't even talk to them in first place''

If I go to a woman politely and talk about more basic stuff like college,how are you, like that and woman is just plain rude or whatever to me. You know what I hear. I hear this ''you did something wrong'' ''you should have said this'' yet no one ever thinks that maybe just f-king maybe the woman (legit this time) was just rude.
How would like it if you talk to a rude woman and people start calling you a ''loser'' because ''you couldn't get her''
Hope you get what Im saying.


I can't speak for everybody else, but I'm certainly not trying to say it's entirely your fault. I'm just trying to explain to you possible reasons why they don't want to talk to you. Absolutely, there are rude people out there, but the way you described it made it sound like you feel as though the world owes it to you to listen to you ramble on about whatever.

Does this occur everywhere you go? Do you only try to talk to them at certain places? Let's say you like anime. Have you tried going to an anime convention and talking to them about what anime they like? What I'm getting at here is it might be a better idea to find something you enjoy doing/someplace you enjoy going, and then going to that place and try talking to the women there about the common interest. It also doesn't hurt to try asking them questions that will allow them to talk about themselves to you.

I'm not saying this is how you're doing it necessarily, but if some random person approached me anywhere and just randomly started talking about their love of adam sandler or started rattling off adam sandler facts, I wouldn't really know how to react to that other than to ignore them. So like, if you like adam sandler, and that's what you wanna talk about, join an adam sandler fan club, and approach women there, and ASK them things. Don't just go up and randomly blurt out that you love Mr. Deeds or something like that.

I also want to make it clear that I don't think it's entirely your fault. But at the same time I'm going to suggest things that might possibly improve your situation so that you don't have to keep coming here and asking us questions about these unfavorable situations with women you keep finding yourself in.

Here's a personal example. My friend 1000knives started getting interested in older style razors about a year ago. Every time he'd talk to me, he'd tell me about the new razor he bought, or how he likes different blades better than others, etc. At the time, I simply didn't give a s**t, and I sort of ignored most of what he said. I admit that was kind of rude, but at the same time, I can't ignore the fact that I had no interest back then. Since then, I became interested in them, and I had to ask him about all the things he'd already tried to tell me. I feel like a bit of an ass for doing it that way. But then again, I also had the previous bias against them because my parents owned the type of razors he was telling me about, and when I tried them, I had no idea what I was doing. I probably tried using old and/or crappy blades. Once I actually tried decent/new blades and learned the proper technique for shaving with that kind of razor, I loved it.

Now, when I went and tried to talk to people about older style razors, I went up to 2 people who I figured would be more receptive to what I had to say and asked them what they normally shaved with. Then I asked them if they'd ever heard of or tried a double edge razor, at which point they both thought I meant a straight razor. I then explained to them what I was talking about, and I asked them why they used what they did and if they had any complaints about what they were currently using. And after THAT is when I started telling them MY experience with double edge razors. They became interested and decided to give them a try. The razor itself costs like $13, which seems expensive for a razor, but the razor is made of solid brass and plated in nickel. It's meant to last, and the blades can be bought for as low as 12 cents a piece(and possibly even lower, I didn't really shop around a whole lot), so there's a f**k TON of money to be saved in using them over a multi-blade cartridge razor. After explaining all of these things to them, they decided they both wanted one for themselves, and right now I have two of the razors in the mail, headed toward my house for them(they paid me cash in advance).

Again, i want to make it clear that I don't think it's automatically always that you're doing something wrong, but I've given you a possible reason why it's not going over so well, and I've given you an example of where a different approach worked for me. Of course, it's important to note that these people aren't strangers to me either; I work with them. But still, I think that had I just walked up to them and blurted out "dude, you should totally try a double edge razor," they wouldn't have cared.

Now that I think about it, I hope 1000knives reads this because I think he has this sort of problem too(at the same time, I wish I'd have listened to him the first time he told me about double edge razors because I could have saved a lot of money and anguish. Ever since I started using one, I actually ENJOY shaving. I used to absolutely hate it). He tends to talk about pretty random things like that. And if he does see this, I hope he realizes I'm not trying to bash/make fun of him or anything. I also hope he doesn't mind me using him as an example.



billiscool
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30 Oct 2012, 12:50 am

(to der) Yeah I hear you. I have improve alot of my conversation skills with the ladies. And I don't always talk about Adam sandler but there is a reason why I sometimes bring up adam sandler or family guy to begin a conversation, i tell you below.
In fact I never had problem with you or really anyone I just really get really heated up on thing. Think about when people discuss politics.
You are right.

There is a reason why I do sometimes start of with a conversation about adam sandler. It to see what type of woman Im talking too.
Now if a woman can talk about something silly about adam sandler then I know she a really ''relax'' and ''cool'' person.
That she not easily offended or bother. I do change the subject once I get talking to her. so I don't always talk adam sandler or family guy and I don't have ever single conversation about adam sandler either.
I want a woman who is not easly offended by things and have a layback attitude.



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30 Oct 2012, 12:54 am

and more: when I do talk about adam sandler it's more like ''do you like adam sandler movies'' or ''what do you think about adam sandler''. if I can get a woman talking about her like or dislike of adam sandler. Then I think ''ok this is a really ''relax'' woman if she can talk to me about mr.sandler then she could talk to me about other things'' so I change the subject and start talking jack black and then jerry seinfeld.... Ok just kidding about the last 2.



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30 Oct 2012, 3:13 am

Hey billiscool, sorry if you have already explained this but there's a lot to read in this and other posts. I get the impression that when you talk to a woman about Adam Sandler or other "random" topics, you use this as an opening line and skip part the usual "pleasantries" in the beginning such as "how are you?", talking about things related to the situation, etc, am I correct?

Well I wanted to point out that asking seemingly random questions like that is not common practice, and even if the woman you are talking to is laid back, relaxed, open, etc., it still doesn't mean she will respond positively to these sorts of abrupt questions so early in a conversation. Because it is rather an unusual thing to do, she is likely to be cautious about you and what sort of personality/mentality you have.

We live in a world where there are some people who are okay with asking random questions, but hardly anyone actually ever does it, because "nobody else does", so those who do come across as "strange" even if the recipient would actually prefer that people could behave this way. It sucks but that's the way it is.



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30 Oct 2012, 4:00 am

Id go further than yellowtamarin.
I have my own adam sandler topic. I get carried away when I talk about it and for years it kept driving people away.

What sorted this problem? I found a place people where more than happy to talk about my special interest and I limit myself to showing my knowledge on the subject only when its neccesary outside of those people.

For example last year I was at my sisters birthday party and somehow a friend of my sister started talking about as good as it gets and ocd syndrom. I could have pointed her out how wrong she was and why in a long speech, all I did was point out that the d stood for disorder because I know that she didnt care about anything else and nor did anyone else at that party and the long rant would have caused a bad impression(even considering that I had known this person for quite a long period)



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30 Oct 2012, 2:42 pm

spongy wrote:
Id go further than yellowtamarin.
I have my own adam sandler topic. I get carried away when I talk about it and for years it kept driving people away.

What sorted this problem? I found a place people where more than happy to talk about my special interest and I limit myself to showing my knowledge on the subject only when its neccesary outside of those people.

For example last year I was at my sisters birthday party and somehow a friend of my sister started talking about as good as it gets and ocd syndrom. I could have pointed her out how wrong she was and why in a long speech, all I did was point out that the d stood for disorder because I know that she didnt care about anything else and nor did anyone else at that party and the long rant would have caused a bad impression(even considering that I had known this person for quite a long period)


Yea, I have my own supertopics. Its automotive and aviation fields. Thankfully those are a bit more acceptable things to like and talk about and people are usually semi interested in hearing about them. I do at times talk about computers but most people get bored of that if I do too much detail.