How can I initiate a date?

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Sometimes when they give me their number I don't call them at all. Or I forget and lose the number .

Being gay is irrelevant. The reason I should be listened to over others in this thread is because I live my life more in the social world than those who constantly avoid people and live in a constant state of fear due to illogical assumptions that every stranger is a rapist.

Thanks for giving up on this. Now you'll stop spreading misinformation to others who are genuinely seeking advice on how to interact with people in public.

I comprehend just fine. Just because you don't like compliments doesn't mean that all women don't. You are not all women.

Don't put words in my mouth. I never said any of that. I don't crave compliments. I simply have a normal reaction of accepting and appreciating them for what they are vs. getting upset and shouting rape because someone says something nice to me. I've shared my reactions to recent compliments so that sly279 and others have examples of real world reactions to real world compliments vs. reading and believing all of the negativity that a few people in this thread have written about compliments. If a guy like sly279 believed everything he read in this thread that's been posted by compliment hating people, he'd live a pretty sad and miserable social existence believing that it was inappropriate to say nice things to others in order to strike up a conversation with a girl he was attracted to. He and others need to know that compliments are welcomed by most people and that the "please don't compliment me" crowd is a very small minority of people who have such views due to ptsd/anxiety and so on.

well one. somesaid to be complimented by guys out in the world make them feel uncomfortable. to me feeling uncomfortable feels aweful. so that is why I used that word. I hate things that make me feel aweful. I can only imagine others do too.

I have been doing nothing but trying to take adice. you all seem to say don't compliment women out in the world. they aren't out there to be complimented they are just trying to get whatever they are doing done.

I honestly thought I was taking your advice. I don't know why you felt the need to point out my virgin status

I don't give advice. my post was only a response to kraftiekortie

I explained my coming to the word awful above.
if not you but others said it made them feel uncomfortable or harassed. seems awful to me.
so you don't want compliments.? o.O like "wow your hair looks great." or " you have really beautiful eyes" or "that outfit is really cute"

I don't consider "nice boobs" "what a ass" or any similar things to be compliments. I would not even say such things in a relationship.

is it really often ? isn't this the same as saying most women ___
or is it 25% of men are dangerous, leaving 75% who are't I have seen non stop stories on the murder channel about women who kill guys, I have seen news things about that lady who killed guys she picked up on craigslist. I don't asume every woman on the street will kill me

I don't take goldfish's advice . I am only trying to take what you all are saying and do good. plus use past experiences. I only have 1 year long internet thing, 1 4 months friendship/love/friendship/flip-flop, 1 3 week 2 meet up okc , and the 10 times I complimented women in the first message who replied.
I am maybe a bit messed up from the first 2 I don't know what they wanted.

I don't like/agree with you two on the sexist thing and am afraid I will be labeled sexist and banned. yet I have respected you two and tried to take advice you offer.

that's all you have done, in all your responses to the women in this thread who have said "please don't compliment strange women you don't already know in public about their bodies/appearance; otherwise, genuine compliments (about anything else than our bodies) are fine and dandy" or a variation thereof--put words in our mouths. you intentionally (i believe it's not an accident) misread what we have said so you can argue against a "compliment-hating" straw-woman that doesn't exist. have fun continuing to argue with your own imaginings, if that does it for you--obviously our words will never reach what passes for your reason and sensibility to be actually considered by you.

I think you'll get a date soon, Sly. You have to get up the courage to ask girls out; it's still quite rare for girls to ask guys out. When you go out on a date, start off talking about a book or movie you might both be interested in. Or funny things that happened to you when you were younger. No compliments yet, unless the girl's really dressed up. Just talk like you're friends. NEVER say how shy you are. Respond to what she says. Show interest in what she says.

This thread is insane. I think you guys somehow have the idea that goldfish is some kind of gay wolf guy. I don't know him in person, but from what I do know of him, he's got a great big heart and wouldn't make anyone uncomfortable on purpose ever.

Having said that, I think it's important to remember that there aren't any steadfast rules about it being ok to compliment or it being not ok. I have found that even in non-sexual contexts, if you do it at the wrong moment or to the wrong person, or regarding something they don't want complimented, it can lead to trouble. One should try to get to the know the person and find their comfort level, but being as we are Autistic, that can be hard.

I'm a girl, I would say don't be afraid to compliment, just try to do it at the right time.

I don't feel so. there's the women I like. and there's the women who like me. the part where the two groups overlap seem to be quite small.

there are also the women who I find attractive both personality and looks. and they either mistaken liked me or really like me for some odd reason, but we lack similar hobbies.

messaging with a lady who message me first. shes not fat and quite pretty. the problem I perceive is that she is over active and doesn't seem to enjoy being inside.

I would list myself as 60%inside. 40% outside. I enjoy the outdoors, be it shooting/camping, hikes, airsoft, swimming. but it isn't something I want to do all the time. I enjoy being inside slightly more to do, video games, tv/movies, cuddling, board games.
thus this has become another one of those issues. it seems like most people fall on either side, only wanting to be indoors or only wanting to be outdoors. So while i would enjoy doing things with her, the whole here always having to be outside doing something would lead to a crash on me as I need to be indoors to recover from being outdoors. This would conflict with her needs and lead to the classic, he never wants to go out to do things argument. but the opposite is true if dated a only wants to be inside woman.


every date I've been on has gone well except that one where she wanted food.
I come off as funny, confident and fun to be around. showing interest in a woman's says hasn't been a problem for me as I generally am interested. actually wish the women I'd been on dates with would have talked more. I have complimented some part of them on a first date. all the women friends I had a year ago told me too. along with try to hold hands while on a walk, bring a condom just in case(i don't want sex on first few dates) who was I to argue with them. they have relationships and are women.

the first dates seem to have been about interest, family , hobbies, life events, past stories. etc.

You have to MEET the woman in person. Pictures and online dialogue offer insufficient impressions. You had a date for the Fourth, probably. You're thinking too much in anticipation before a potential date. Just wing it, man.

If a woman wants food, offer a picnic in the park. Bring folding chairs and a blanket.

Didn't you say you like to cook? Show off your chef abilities. Women like that.

I believe that the twitter hashtag YesAllWomen was mentioned earlier in this thread. Going by your comments on this thread, goldfish , I assume you didn't bother checking it out.

For what it's worth, if I were in a bookshop/supermarket/wherever and a stranger came up to me and made a comment about my appearance along the lines suggested away back at the start of this thread, I would not feel complimented. I would feel creeped out.

I have to agree with this one. I don't have PTSD, but if a guy in a grocery store said something like, You have pretty hair to me (however innocuous that might sound), I would be very uncomfortable. THere is a time and place to make compliments.

Maybe if they were talking and really hit it off. I know some women who are sex-crazed though and any compliment at all, even from a gorilla would probably turn them on. It really just depends on the people and the situation.

So to answer the OP's question, two ways for imitating a date are:

1. Instead of complimenting a woman based on her appearance, find something else about her, or something about the situation to talk to her about (something at the store, a book she's reading, the weather, etc.) and talk about that to get her comfortable with you and then you casually suggest you two get together

OR

2. Find a club with a common interest group, get to know a woman there and ask her out after meeting with her a few times

As I said earlier, I clicked and skimmed one link someone posted. I don't use twitter as I have nothing to use it for as I'm not currently promoting/advertising/selling anything. I'll use it once I shift gears in my career again in the future, but have no need for it now.

Also, as I said earlier, you can find all the scary statistics about anything you want to obsess about on the internet. Like I said, I could go google up sites full of stats about drowning in backyard pools.. but I'm not about to go around living my daily life with a phobia of drowning in a backyard pool just because some people drown in them and I read some statistics about it online. Assuming all men are rapists and living in constant fear of being complimented by a stranger is equally absurd to me.

Yeah, maybe you should do more than "skim".

shes never even played video games. I can play them all day some times.
I had considered she might have meant it that way, but if she hadn't. :S
plus would have left my mom alone on the holiday and scary driving .

i mean she wanted free food, that seemed to be the point of us meeting up, I tried to talk about interest and such but she just played her ds and then would ask for food every so often , except when she would tell me about how her and her ex had sex and where.

To be honest I've never done a picnic , it sounds hard. never seen people do one either.

never said I was a good cook