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Why do Women do this on Dating Sites?

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LKL
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30 Oct 2014, 8:34 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
AlexanderDantes wrote:
It's not uncommon for people to send naked photos to each other, some women sent me naked photos before we dated.

Free online dating sites are meat markets, if she wants a high quality website, she should pay for it.


Do these guys have the idea that women are going to be impressed that they have a penis? Because we're all pretty much aware that a penis is standard issue if you're a man. You don't need to prove it to us (not you personally; the guys who send pictures of them).


Men don't seem to understand that women, in general, are not as fascinated by penises as they are. Even if women are straight and rather like penises, they do not seem to hold the same fascination for women as they do for even straight men.



hale_bopp
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31 Oct 2014, 2:54 pm

Why are you saying women do it? Everyone does it on dating sites. (Well, I don't, but a lot of people )



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31 Oct 2014, 3:23 pm

ITT: Complaining about women being direct, honest and open about their expectations.

Which is a nice contrast from so many other romantic threads where the gents are complaining about women not being direct, honest and open. :roll:


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31 Oct 2014, 5:18 pm

LKL wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
AlexanderDantes wrote:
It's not uncommon for people to send naked photos to each other, some women sent me naked photos before we dated.

Free online dating sites are meat markets, if she wants a high quality website, she should pay for it.


Do these guys have the idea that women are going to be impressed that they have a penis? Because we're all pretty much aware that a penis is standard issue if you're a man. You don't need to prove it to us (not you personally; the guys who send pictures of them).


Men don't seem to understand that women, in general, are not as fascinated by penises as they are. Even if women are straight and rather like penises, they do not seem to hold the same fascination for women as they do for even straight men.



" they do not seem to hold the same fascination for women as they do for even straight men...bla bla." what a nonsense.

Let me shock you with this: We are not fascinated by closeup photos of vaginas either that so many of your gender like to share while having a horny chat with a man.

I have received so many pics of close up vagina and honestly I don't find them arousing by the slightest, not even visually, and I bet most straight men don't - I dunno why many women think otherwise. Now, a good full body shot is something else...



funeralxempire
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31 Oct 2014, 5:26 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Let me shock you with this: We are not fascinated by closeup photos of vaginas either that so many of your gender like to share while having a horny chat with a man.

I have received so many pics of close up vagina and honestly I don't find them arousing by the slightest, not even visually, and I bet most straight men don't - I dunno why many women think otherwise. Now, a good full body shot is something else...


A close-up of one's genitals are less likely to be identified with that person should someone choose to share the image more widely than intended. That's more likely the motivation behind women (and many men too) sending tightly cropped close-ups of vaginas or breasts instead of less tightly cropped body shots.

Fear of social repercussions play a role in how people behave all the time, including how they flirt online.


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31 Oct 2014, 5:31 pm

I for one feel that it's only polite to send a vagina shot; how else will the guy recognise you on your first date?


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31 Oct 2014, 5:32 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
I for one feel that it's only polite to send a vagina shot; how else will the guy recognise you on your first date?


haha :D



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31 Oct 2014, 6:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
LKL wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
AlexanderDantes wrote:
It's not uncommon for people to send naked photos to each other, some women sent me naked photos before we dated.

Free online dating sites are meat markets, if she wants a high quality website, she should pay for it.


Do these guys have the idea that women are going to be impressed that they have a penis? Because we're all pretty much aware that a penis is standard issue if you're a man. You don't need to prove it to us (not you personally; the guys who send pictures of them).


Men don't seem to understand that women, in general, are not as fascinated by penises as they are. Even if women are straight and rather like penises, they do not seem to hold the same fascination for women as they do for even straight men.



" they do not seem to hold the same fascination for women as they do for even straight men...bla bla." what a nonsense.

Let me shock you with this: We are not fascinated by closeup photos of vaginas either that so many of your gender like to share while having a horny chat with a man.

I have received so many pics of close up vagina and honestly I don't find them arousing by the slightest, not even visually, and I bet most straight men don't - I dunno why many women think otherwise. Now, a good full body shot is something else...

Really? Usually what one hears women getting into trouble for is boob shots, and usually only when they're young enough to still be stupid about such things. One does not hear about adult women politicians, for example, tweeting boob shots (much less vagina shots) to people on twitter the way that one hears about dick pix with men. You're the first person, male or female, to ever even mention women taking pictures of vjs that I've heard.
Has anyone else seen or heard of this?



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31 Oct 2014, 6:42 pm

LKL wrote:
Has anyone else seen or heard of this?

Craigslist.



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31 Oct 2014, 6:49 pm

LKL wrote:
Really? Usually what one hears women getting into trouble for is boob shots, and usually only when they're young enough to still be stupid about such things. One does not hear about adult women politicians, for example, tweeting boob shots (much less vagina shots) to people on twitter the way that one hears about dick pix with men. You're the first person, male or female, to ever even mention women taking pictures of vjs that I've heard.
Has anyone else seen or heard of this?


Boob shots are more likely to include a face. The male politicians who sent dickpix and caught flak included their faces. An unidentified vagina is an anonymous vagina. Men seem to be less cautious when engaging in this sort of behaviour than women are and therefore don't take the same risk-reduction behaviours. It's both that men are more likely to engage in the practice and less likely to reduce potential risks.


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31 Oct 2014, 6:57 pm

LKL wrote:
Really? Usually what one hears women getting into trouble for is boob shots, and usually only when they're young enough to still be stupid about such things. One does not hear about adult women politicians, for example, tweeting boob shots (much less vagina shots) to people on twitter the way that one hears about dick pix with men. You're the first person, male or female, to ever even mention women taking pictures of vjs that I've heard.
Has anyone else seen or heard of this?

No I hadn't heard of the vj pic thing til now. All of these things are things I've only heard of: dick pics, vj pics, 100s of messages per week, lots of harassing or sexually explicit messages. This is not my online dating experience at all, but I don't see what I'm doing differently. It has been said that all you need is to be female and you will get dodgy messages. Pretty sure I got that one covered, and yet, very few dodgy messages.



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31 Oct 2014, 7:34 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
LKL wrote:
Really? Usually what one hears women getting into trouble for is boob shots, and usually only when they're young enough to still be stupid about such things. One does not hear about adult women politicians, for example, tweeting boob shots (much less vagina shots) to people on twitter the way that one hears about dick pix with men. You're the first person, male or female, to ever even mention women taking pictures of vjs that I've heard.
Has anyone else seen or heard of this?


Boob shots are more likely to include a face. The male politicians who sent dickpix and caught flak included their faces. An unidentified vagina is an anonymous vagina. Men seem to be less cautious when engaging in this sort of behaviour than women are and therefore don't take the same risk-reduction behaviours. It's both that men are more likely to engage in the practice and less likely to reduce potential risks.


Boobs shots are rarer even the faceless ones; I bet it's because of the common insecurity regarding size.
I think they do this vij shot while horny during sexting as a way of expressing "f**k me" or something, they're often opened wide with their fingers.



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01 Nov 2014, 12:52 am

so... back to the original concern... I think?

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Yes, but my point is I'm tired of women who aren't emotionally available and have bad attitudes. Every OKCupid conversation has ended in a flake but I am not going to message someone by saying "I know you are probably going to flake but I might as well try talking to you". Even if 99 women screw me over #100 had NOTHING to do with it and deserves to be given a fair shake.

So that is totally reasonable.

I'm just not sure why any of this means you wouldn't "be given a fair shake":
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
...
"Just a heads up, since I've been getting messages of these kinds far too often for my tastes, I'm looking for a relationship. I'm not here because you're horny and you feel I'm the most likely to cyber with you at the time. I'm not looking for one night stands, or casual 'encounters'."

"I'm the kind of person that is perfectly fine by myself"

"If you do something that annoys me, or upsets me you are going to know it. I don't mean by giving you the silent treatment until you 'figure it out'. I will tell you right then and there what you are doing is upsetting and you had best not do it again."

"I don't share. Period. The second I find out you are or were cheating on me, your ass is grass. First offense I am gone, I don't need that s**t in my life."

"you like anything you see/read here! Though one rule:
Instead of sending me a dick pic (because this happens more often then I thought it really would) you can send me:" and a long list of "acceptable" pictures...


Unless you plan on doing any of that, but it doesn't sound like any of that is really your MO.
If you know it doesn't apply to you, I'm not sure why you wouldn't give her a chance anyway since she is clearly addressing people who are not you and, as you imply, have nothing to do with you.

The fact that she is still on OKCupid would mean she still thinks there are possibly people there who don't suck, even though something made her so frustrated she felt the need to hang a very clear "no BS" sign in the window.


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01 Nov 2014, 1:51 am

Just win the lottery like 300 million dollars and then those same women will come flocking to you! Wealth greatly outweighs social awkwardness and also ensures financial security!


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01 Nov 2014, 4:45 am

Wealth outweights everything; even Gods. :lol:

Interfaith marriage between locals is pretty rare in my region; a marriage between a muslim and christian causes often a family uproar.
Yet I see Christian women marrying Saudi/Gulf men (whom usually are much more radically muslim) way more than marrying muslim locals. I also see muslim women taking French/Spanish UN officers as husbands way more than them marrying local Christian.
And the funniest part of it, their families are happy and cause no scene about it.

Ahh the power of the wealth :lol:



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20 Dec 2014, 3:25 pm

smudge wrote:
Boxman108 wrote:
Wow smudge, it's as if it's as one sided as feminists would have you believe.


As soon as I see the word, "feminist" as a dirty word, I tend not to take the speaker so seriously. It's a shame.


^^^For someone who thinks it appropriate to slap a person because (in your esteemed opinion) he thought too highly of himself, your tone above is quite condescending.

smudge wrote:
I don't see it as nastiness or bitterness, I just see it as a girl who is pissed off at being bothered by guys who ignore her profile and treat her how they like... Imagine being pestered by lots of guys who don't take you seriously or bother to find out who you are... So she has reacted defensively and is basically saying, "If you're just going to be a dick to me, f*** off now".


That's what I thought when I first read it, but then I took a second look:

OkCupid Lady wrote:
If you do something that annoys me, or upsets me you are going to know it. I don't mean by giving you the silent treatment until you 'figure it out'. I will tell you right then and there what you are doing is upsetting and you had best not do it again.


I'd agree with smudge and FireyInspiration if she'd said "I will tell you right then and there what you are doing is upsetting and we can work it out", but assuming that your partner is in the wrong just because that's how you felt in the moment is a bad start for a relationship.