WHAT ARE YOUR DEAL BREAKERS WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS?

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It's not uncommon in the US for kids to go off to summer camp. It doesn't indicate anything about how much the parent "hates being a parent" -- that's ridiculous.

Some send their kids because the kids want to go, to try it or because they already enjoy it. Some send them because the parents can't get the time off work to mind the kids during summer break -- in the US many jobs offer horrendously little paid (or even unpaid) leave or vacation time, and parents are in a bind for childminding during the long summer break.

Just because some woman's kids go to summer camp it doesn't say something automatically horrible about that woman. Jeez.

If he breaks my things, he's out the door no matter what. In my experience that's just the tip of the iceberg. There is hostility underneath. Consciously or not, he likes to see me sad. Out with him. Now.

Or he's just clumsy.

But what if it was a meltdown?

Specifically targetted clumsy, such as things I collect or are brand new and can't be replaced - treasures, he breaks treasures. There are men like that. Total deal breaker.

I have seen people like that in comedy shows like The Klutz in The Amanda Show or Kenan in Kenan and Kel. I would not want those people in my home. But I have never met anyone in real life who is actually that clumsy so I always thought it was exaggerated.

You're perfectly entitled to reject clumsy men, but you said this:



And no, being clumsy doesn't mean there's hostility underneath or he likes to see you sad. That takes more than clumsiness.

By the way, I have a feeling that, if I made some kind of complaint pointing out how some things are irreplaceable, implying individual women are not, I'd be immediately accused of objectifying women and told that's one of the reasons why I can't get laid. In contrast, noöne seems to bat an eyelid at the idea that men are readily replaceable, and, clearly, professing that idea doesn't seem to prevent any woman from getting sex or relationships.

Someone who has too many possessions. Yes, this sounds odd but I plan on living a simple life in a small home and I don't want clutter or useless objects in the home I live in. I understand sentiment but if you need an object to remember a subject, it's a major turn off.

(This belief has scored me numerous positions in video games as guild bank manager LOL.)

I am the opposite. I feel uncomfortable in an open space without having lots of things around me. I wouldn't be able to live with a minimalist.



Yep same for me. That's passive aggressiveness and it would be a huge red flag.

That reminds me of something else an ex did...and we were already ex's by the time this happened, but still hanging out as friends, and this absolutely ended the friendship. We were on a road trip in his brother's car, and he had been going on and on about how his brother had saved up the money to pay cash for this car. He kept telling me to be careful, don't slam the door too hard, things like that, and it was really annoying me because I wasn't doing anything to hurt the car. It was obvious he was really jealous that his brother got that car.

Then he was driving, and took a wrong turn and for 30 miles or so refused to turn around or even acknowledge that we were going the wrong way. He finally admitted it and stopped somewhere. Then he got out in the parking lot and had a temper tantrum and beat his fists on the hood of the car. I wasn't surprised, because I knew he had grown up seeing his father beat his mother, and I'd always felt uneasy around him and wondered if he might have those same tendencies. But I was just stunned by the hypocrisy of it, after all that lecturing he gave me about being super careful with the car. I decided right then and there, he was dangerous, and I was not going any further on that trip and I would never have anything to do with him or his family again. I wouldn't be surprised if he damaged his brother's car worse later on, or had a wreck in it.

I was going to get a taxi if I had to, but they agreed to take me back to their house so I could get my car and go home. On the way back he was talking about me like I wasn't even in the car with them and blaming me for having to go back. It was horrible. I didn't say anything. I just wanted to get back home in one piece.

When we got back I jumped in my car as quick as I could, but he came over yelling for me to roll down the window. He said "HERE" and shoved in a small package at me. It was a gift, and I can't think of a time when I've ever been given a gift with any greater resentment or hostility or self-righteousness. Like he wanted to show me that he'd had been waiting to give me this gift all along and try to make me feel like I had been unfair to him or something.

That reminds me of a another kind of deal breaker, when a man wants to give a gift with strings attached, especially if it's implied that you're going to "owe" something for it.

I thought this video was pretty good, talks about some red flags like lying, needing to be right, or a person taking themselves too seriously.

Exactly! It's more than clumsiness and it's a deal breaker.

The video is pretty much spot on. The best way to observe some of these behaviors and see a person's true colors, is to watch them around waiters/waitresses, and other types of people they come into contact with on a regular basis. They may act all nice and polite to you for awhile, but you can almost count on them treating you the same way after the newness wears off, and they get more comfortable with you.

To add to the list, would be a strange/odd sense of humor, and the inability to find humor in other people's jokes (everyone laughs, except them). What this tells you, is that this person doesn't think, or see things the same way that normal (mentally healthy) people do.

I completely disagree with this...what people laugh at in a group is not a sign or standard of being mentally healthy.

my deal breakers would be...

1) must love cats
2) keep any and all dogs as far away from me as possible
3) must be cool with video games and anime
4) don't be a self-centered c-bag
5) agree to NEVER make me listen to country music, watch any Twilight garbage or do anything remotely religious
6) must be okay with my inability to drive and the fact that I live with my parents atm ( I take care of them )
7) must understand that cam models aren't porn stars or whores, and that I'm actually good friends with some ( so be cool with that )
must be understanding of my disability & everything that comes from it ( EX, my very picky eating habits )

-Dishonest
- Puts me under pressure to do things I'm not ready for
-Doesn't genuinely like or care about me
- Arrogant
- Doesn't like animals
- Can't be themselves and tries to change for me or other people
- Doesn't want to be in a committed relationship
-Doesn't understand or listen to me