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nurseangela
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30 Jul 2015, 12:44 am

sly279 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
This is why the "no sex for 6 months rule". If a guy can't stick around and actually "date" a woman and really get to know her - he isn't worth her time. You will know then what his real intentions were. And some men may say that 6 months is too long, but it isn't if both people have a life and only see each other a couple times a week.


don't think thats your call to make and its really generalzing. i don't think anyone who isn't willing to wait 10 years for sex is worth a womans time. see its a arbitary number, so it could be replaced with anything. lots of people hace sex right at the start and have long fulfilling relationships.

any woman who wont' have sex after a month of being together isn't worth my time, shes just playing games or not sexually compatible. fyi anyone who is won't be able to wait 6 months either. most women on okcup list that they would have sex around 3-5 dates, very few say 6 months or longer unless they christians saying until marriage. then other say 1-2 dates.

honestly such a woman as you describe is judgemental and not worth a mans time.

his real attentions is not to get played with by a woman, he wants a long term romantic and yes sexual relationship perhaps leading to marriage. just because a guy doesn't want to wait freaking half a year to have sex doesn't mean hes only after sex.

only see each other a couple times a week you mean like 90% of people do?
does it take you years to bond and attach to someone, it usually just takes a few weeks for most people even shorter for people like me.


I probably said that wrong. Let me rephrase it - if a guy doesn't want to get to know me before there is any sex (and I don't mean 3-5 dates) then he isn't worth MY time.

I don't attach to people like you do and from what I've read (even my Aspie friend) it takes a lot of time for some Aspies to bond and trust someone. So I think you're wrong by saying "most people only take a few weeks or less to bond". You might be one of the few.


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cathylynn
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30 Jul 2015, 12:47 am

sly279 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
This is why the "no sex for 6 months rule". If a guy can't stick around and actually "date" a woman and really get to know her - he isn't worth her time. You will know then what his real intentions were. And some men may say that 6 months is too long, but it isn't if both people have a life and only see each other a couple times a week.


don't think thats your call to make and its really generalzing. i don't think anyone who isn't willing to wait 10 years for sex is worth a womans time. see its a arbitary number, so it could be replaced with anything. lots of people hace sex right at the start and have long fulfilling relationships.

any woman who wont' have sex after a month of being together isn't worth my time, shes just playing games or not sexually compatible. fyi anyone who is won't be able to wait 6 months either. most women on okcup list that they would have sex around 3-5 dates, very few say 6 months or longer unless they christians saying until marriage. then other say 1-2 dates.

honestly such a woman as you describe is judgemental and not worth a mans time.

his real attentions is not to get played with by a woman, he wants a long term romantic and yes sexual relationship perhaps leading to marriage. just because a guy doesn't want to wait freaking half a year to have sex doesn't mean hes only after sex.

only see each other a couple times a week you mean like 90% of people do?
does it take you years to bond and attach to someone, it usually just takes a few weeks for most people even shorter for people like me.

six months is not an arbitrary number. that's how long counselors will tell you you should know a potential partner before any commitment is made to be sure you don't end up with an abuser. based on experience.



nurseangela
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30 Jul 2015, 12:51 am

nurseangela wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
This is why the "no sex for 6 months rule". If a guy can't stick around and actually "date" a woman and really get to know her - he isn't worth her time. You will know then what his real intentions were. And some men may say that 6 months is too long, but it isn't if both people have a life and only see each other a couple times a week.


don't think thats your call to make and its really generalzing. i don't think anyone who isn't willing to wait 10 years for sex is worth a womans time. see its a arbitary number, so it could be replaced with anything. lots of people hace sex right at the start and have long fulfilling relationships.

any woman who wont' have sex after a month of being together isn't worth my time, shes just playing games or not sexually compatible. fyi anyone who is won't be able to wait 6 months either. most women on okcup list that they would have sex around 3-5 dates, very few say 6 months or longer unless they christians saying until marriage. then other say 1-2 dates.

honestly such a woman as you describe is judgemental and not worth a mans time.

his real attentions is not to get played with by a woman, he wants a long term romantic and yes sexual relationship perhaps leading to marriage. just because a guy doesn't want to wait freaking half a year to have sex doesn't mean hes only after sex.

only see each other a couple times a week you mean like 90% of people do?
does it take you years to bond and attach to someone, it usually just takes a few weeks for most people even shorter for people like me.


I probably said that wrong. Let me rephrase it - if a guy doesn't want to get to know me before there is any sex (and I don't mean 3-5 dates) then he isn't worth MY time.

I don't attach to people like you do and from what I've read (even my Aspie friend) it takes a lot of time for some Aspies to bond and trust someone. So I think you're wrong by saying "most people only take a few weeks or less to bond". You might be one of the few.


Let me tell you something else. I think why it takes you so little time to fall for someone is because you have made finding someone your one main goal in life and its gonna end up biting you in the a**. Why? Because you are going to become a "clinger" to that person and they will most definitely run in the other direction because they will feel suffocated. That's just my opinion of what I can see happening. No one wants to be someone else's total reason for happiness.


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League_Girl
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30 Jul 2015, 1:02 am

cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
This is why the "no sex for 6 months rule". If a guy can't stick around and actually "date" a woman and really get to know her - he isn't worth her time. You will know then what his real intentions were. And some men may say that 6 months is too long, but it isn't if both people have a life and only see each other a couple times a week.


don't think thats your call to make and its really generalzing. i don't think anyone who isn't willing to wait 10 years for sex is worth a womans time. see its a arbitary number, so it could be replaced with anything. lots of people hace sex right at the start and have long fulfilling relationships.

any woman who wont' have sex after a month of being together isn't worth my time, shes just playing games or not sexually compatible. fyi anyone who is won't be able to wait 6 months either. most women on okcup list that they would have sex around 3-5 dates, very few say 6 months or longer unless they christians saying until marriage. then other say 1-2 dates.

honestly such a woman as you describe is judgemental and not worth a mans time.

his real attentions is not to get played with by a woman, he wants a long term romantic and yes sexual relationship perhaps leading to marriage. just because a guy doesn't want to wait freaking half a year to have sex doesn't mean hes only after sex.

only see each other a couple times a week you mean like 90% of people do?
does it take you years to bond and attach to someone, it usually just takes a few weeks for most people even shorter for people like me.

six months is not an arbitrary number. that's how long counselors will tell you you should know a potential partner before any commitment is made to be sure you don't end up with an abuser. based on experience.



I heard it takes 3-6 months to see the reason person you are dating. That is how long it takes for them to change and then you see the real them. Sometimes it takes sooner than that.

I don't think people intentionally change when dating, it's just natural for everyone and we don't realize it. It's just something in our brain that gives us a boost and then it wears off after a while so we start to change meaning we go back to our old selves.


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30 Jul 2015, 1:07 am

nurseangela wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
This is why the "no sex for 6 months rule". If a guy can't stick around and actually "date" a woman and really get to know her - he isn't worth her time. You will know then what his real intentions were. And some men may say that 6 months is too long, but it isn't if both people have a life and only see each other a couple times a week.


don't think thats your call to make and its really generalzing. i don't think anyone who isn't willing to wait 10 years for sex is worth a womans time. see its a arbitary number, so it could be replaced with anything. lots of people hace sex right at the start and have long fulfilling relationships.

any woman who wont' have sex after a month of being together isn't worth my time, shes just playing games or not sexually compatible. fyi anyone who is won't be able to wait 6 months either. most women on okcup list that they would have sex around 3-5 dates, very few say 6 months or longer unless they christians saying until marriage. then other say 1-2 dates.

honestly such a woman as you describe is judgemental and not worth a mans time.

his real attentions is not to get played with by a woman, he wants a long term romantic and yes sexual relationship perhaps leading to marriage. just because a guy doesn't want to wait freaking half a year to have sex doesn't mean hes only after sex.

only see each other a couple times a week you mean like 90% of people do?
does it take you years to bond and attach to someone, it usually just takes a few weeks for most people even shorter for people like me.


I probably said that wrong. Let me rephrase it - if a guy doesn't want to get to know me before there is any sex (and I don't mean 3-5 dates) then he isn't worth MY time.

I don't attach to people like you do and from what I've read (even my Aspie friend) it takes a lot of time for some Aspies to bond and trust someone. So I think you're wrong by saying "most people only take a few weeks or less to bond". You might be one of the few.


Let me tell you something else. I think why it takes you so little time to fall for someone is because you have made finding someone your one main goal in life and its gonna end up biting you in the a**. Why? Because you are going to become a "clinger" to that person and they will most definitely run in the other direction because they will feel suffocated. That's just my opinion of what I can see happening. No one wants to be someone else's total reason for happiness.


I should also add that clinging to a person so soon can raise a red flag for a woman because that is something a future abuser does to lure their victim.

One of the red flags when dating is when a man can't get enough of you, they are crazy over you and always want to talk to you and be with you and always thinking about you. Yeah red flag for abuse so run. Even if he isn't an abuser, he had raised a false red flag then so he would have to slow down while dating.


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30 Jul 2015, 1:33 am

All relationships actually occur for Karmic-Purposes/Reasons, yes, All of them...

League_Girl wrote:
<...asdf...>

Regardless of how well-acquainted some people get, you will still find cases of people getting together, followed by breaking up for a bit, then getting together again multiple times in a row, perhaps even breaking up & ending up in relationships with others, only for it to not work out & they end up getting back together again anyway.

The United States also has this bizarre culture of a kind of semi-polygamy in the form of serial-monogamy (getting married to up to an average of maybe three or four or even five different people within their life-times).

The future will be full of a lot more fun when guys evolve past the feelings that they need a girl-friend & realise that it's actually better to have a cyborg/android-robot where you can have its looks customised to your preferences... ;)

...because no drama over-powered ! :D


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30 Jul 2015, 1:40 am

League_Girl wrote:
One of the red flags when dating is when a man can't get enough of you, they are crazy over you and always want to talk to you and be with you and always thinking about you. Yeah red flag for abuse so run. Even if he isn't an abuser, he had raised a false red flag then so he would have to slow down while dating.


Yes, if they seek you up and talk to you then it is a red flag, but not if they obsess over you in solitude and only try to be at the same places as you, as that is a neurodiverse trait.



sly279
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30 Jul 2015, 1:44 am

nurseangela wrote:
I probably said that wrong. Let me rephrase it - if a guy doesn't want to get to know me before there is any sex (and I don't mean 3-5 dates) then he isn't worth MY time.

I don't attach to people like you do and from what I've read (even my Aspie friend) it takes a lot of time for some Aspies to bond and trust someone. So I think you're wrong by saying "most people only take a few weeks or less to bond". You might be one of the few.


what do you mean by get to know you?

people will meet twice and be friends. i've seen people become a couple after 2 dates. just recently a guy and girl planned to get married after a month or less of knowing each other. I see this facebook a lot. and lots of people jump into sex after just meeting.

nurseangela wrote:
Let me tell you something else. I think why it takes you so little time to fall for someone is because you have made finding someone your one main goal in life and its gonna end up biting you in the a**. Why? Because you are going to become a "clinger" to that person and they will most definitely run in the other direction because they will feel suffocated. That's just my opinion of what I can see happening. No one wants to be someone else's total reason for happiness.


nope I just get attached to people quicker and Im super trusting. I don't want to be in a relationsip wtih friends but I still bond quickly with them. maybe you're the odd one out?

yeah i know got to be super distant from any potiential gf and pay hardly any attention to them and act like they mean nothing to me. yada yada.

you people don't get happiness. you think theres only one way to be happy in your world everyone is unhappy in relationships but are in it for what they get from the other. ie money, status, sex. well lots of people are with people just because they make them happy, nothing wrong with it. ok. you don't know me, so stop pretending like you do.



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30 Jul 2015, 1:46 am

League_Girl wrote:
I heard it takes 3-6 months to see the reason person you are dating. That is how long it takes for them to change and then you see the real them. Sometimes it takes sooner than that.

I don't think people intentionally change when dating, it's just natural for everyone and we don't realize it. It's just something in our brain that gives us a boost and then it wears off after a while so we start to change meaning we go back to our old selves.


It's probably similar to how you would behave on a new job, doing your best to fit in. It's normal to try to fit in with new people and having a low profile. Dating is triggering this response, and so is not a good way of getting to know people's real nature. That's why I think extended flirting for 3-6 months works a lot better, as people are not prepared to behave favorably that long with such a small potential benefit. Dating without sex for 3-6 months is kind of a compromise that usually works, and it is at least much better than sex after only a few dates.



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30 Jul 2015, 1:48 am

cathylynn wrote:
six months is not an arbitrary number. that's how long counselors will tell you you should know a potential partner before any commitment is made to be sure you don't end up with an abuser. based on experience.


maybe your's did. its hardly a majority thing I've never heard it from any counselor. also some abusers take years before they start to show their true colors. my brother was with his wife for years and years and only in the past 4 did she show her true abusive identity.

its not like you're getting married. you're willing giving sex for both your's and their enjoyment its mutual.

guess its just hopeless for me and I'll have to settle for some abusive slut who who will and has sex with anyone even after I dating her. :cry:



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30 Jul 2015, 1:51 am

League_Girl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
This is why the "no sex for 6 months rule". If a guy can't stick around and actually "date" a woman and really get to know her - he isn't worth her time. You will know then what his real intentions were. And some men may say that 6 months is too long, but it isn't if both people have a life and only see each other a couple times a week.


don't think thats your call to make and its really generalzing. i don't think anyone who isn't willing to wait 10 years for sex is worth a womans time. see its a arbitary number, so it could be replaced with anything. lots of people hace sex right at the start and have long fulfilling relationships.

any woman who wont' have sex after a month of being together isn't worth my time, shes just playing games or not sexually compatible. fyi anyone who is won't be able to wait 6 months either. most women on okcup list that they would have sex around 3-5 dates, very few say 6 months or longer unless they christians saying until marriage. then other say 1-2 dates.

honestly such a woman as you describe is judgemental and not worth a mans time.

his real attentions is not to get played with by a woman, he wants a long term romantic and yes sexual relationship perhaps leading to marriage. just because a guy doesn't want to wait freaking half a year to have sex doesn't mean hes only after sex.

only see each other a couple times a week you mean like 90% of people do?
does it take you years to bond and attach to someone, it usually just takes a few weeks for most people even shorter for people like me.


I probably said that wrong. Let me rephrase it - if a guy doesn't want to get to know me before there is any sex (and I don't mean 3-5 dates) then he isn't worth MY time.

I don't attach to people like you do and from what I've read (even my Aspie friend) it takes a lot of time for some Aspies to bond and trust someone. So I think you're wrong by saying "most people only take a few weeks or less to bond". You might be one of the few.


Let me tell you something else. I think why it takes you so little time to fall for someone is because you have made finding someone your one main goal in life and its gonna end up biting you in the a**. Why? Because you are going to become a "clinger" to that person and they will most definitely run in the other direction because they will feel suffocated. That's just my opinion of what I can see happening. No one wants to be someone else's total reason for happiness.


I should also add that clinging to a person so soon can raise a red flag for a woman because that is something a future abuser does to lure their victim.

One of the red flags when dating is when a man can't get enough of you, they are crazy over you and always want to talk to you and be with you and always thinking about you. Yeah red flag for abuse so run. Even if he isn't an abuser, he had raised a false red flag then so he would have to slow down while dating.


bonding/being attached =/= clinging to them.

oh how crazy someone likes you oh no only abusers like people run. I just won't bother and end it in few years. I can't help being who I am I'm not an independent don't care about anyone person. so f**k me.



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30 Jul 2015, 1:52 am

sly279 wrote:
people will meet twice and be friends. i've seen people become a couple after 2 dates. just recently a guy and girl planned to get married after a month or less of knowing each other. I see this facebook a lot. and lots of people jump into sex after just meeting.


Just because this is common NT-behavior doesn't mean it's a good idea. That's why people practice serial monogamy. It's because they make such bad choices.

sly279 wrote:
nope I just get attached to people quicker and Im super trusting. I don't want to be in a relationsip wtih friends but I still bond quickly with them. maybe you're the odd one out?


If you bond quickly and deeply and want to have sex quickly, yes, you are a real odd one. That is an atypical trait mix.



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30 Jul 2015, 2:01 am

rdos wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
One of the red flags when dating is when a man can't get enough of you, they are crazy over you and always want to talk to you and be with you and always thinking about you. Yeah red flag for abuse so run. Even if he isn't an abuser, he had raised a false red flag then so he would have to slow down while dating.


Yes, if they seek you up and talk to you then it is a red flag, but not if they obsess over you in solitude and only try to be at the same places as you, as that is a neurodiverse trait.



But how is someone going to know they are an aspie or something else or just an abuser? Sure they could say they have autism but how would the victim know they aren't hiding behind it? Life is full of risks.


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30 Jul 2015, 2:02 am

sly279 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
This is why the "no sex for 6 months rule". If a guy can't stick around and actually "date" a woman and really get to know her - he isn't worth her time. You will know then what his real intentions were. And some men may say that 6 months is too long, but it isn't if both people have a life and only see each other a couple times a week.


don't think thats your call to make and its really generalzing. i don't think anyone who isn't willing to wait 10 years for sex is worth a womans time. see its a arbitary number, so it could be replaced with anything. lots of people hace sex right at the start and have long fulfilling relationships.

any woman who wont' have sex after a month of being together isn't worth my time, shes just playing games or not sexually compatible. fyi anyone who is won't be able to wait 6 months either. most women on okcup list that they would have sex around 3-5 dates, very few say 6 months or longer unless they christians saying until marriage. then other say 1-2 dates.

honestly such a woman as you describe is judgemental and not worth a mans time.

his real attentions is not to get played with by a woman, he wants a long term romantic and yes sexual relationship perhaps leading to marriage. just because a guy doesn't want to wait freaking half a year to have sex doesn't mean hes only after sex.

only see each other a couple times a week you mean like 90% of people do?
does it take you years to bond and attach to someone, it usually just takes a few weeks for most people even shorter for people like me.


I probably said that wrong. Let me rephrase it - if a guy doesn't want to get to know me before there is any sex (and I don't mean 3-5 dates) then he isn't worth MY time.

I don't attach to people like you do and from what I've read (even my Aspie friend) it takes a lot of time for some Aspies to bond and trust someone. So I think you're wrong by saying "most people only take a few weeks or less to bond". You might be one of the few.


Let me tell you something else. I think why it takes you so little time to fall for someone is because you have made finding someone your one main goal in life and its gonna end up biting you in the a**. Why? Because you are going to become a "clinger" to that person and they will most definitely run in the other direction because they will feel suffocated. That's just my opinion of what I can see happening. No one wants to be someone else's total reason for happiness.


I should also add that clinging to a person so soon can raise a red flag for a woman because that is something a future abuser does to lure their victim.

One of the red flags when dating is when a man can't get enough of you, they are crazy over you and always want to talk to you and be with you and always thinking about you. Yeah red flag for abuse so run. Even if he isn't an abuser, he had raised a false red flag then so he would have to slow down while dating.


bonding/being attached =/= clinging to them.

oh how crazy someone likes you oh no only abusers like people run. I just won't bother and end it in few years. I can't help being who I am I'm not an independent don't care about anyone person. so f**k me.



Read about domestic abuse and red flags, it will tell you the same thing so this is not even my opinion.


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30 Jul 2015, 2:04 am

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
people will meet twice and be friends. i've seen people become a couple after 2 dates. just recently a guy and girl planned to get married after a month or less of knowing each other. I see this facebook a lot. and lots of people jump into sex after just meeting.


Just because this is common NT-behavior doesn't mean it's a good idea. That's why people practice serial monogamy. It's because they make such bad choices.

sly279 wrote:
nope I just get attached to people quicker and Im super trusting. I don't want to be in a relationsip wtih friends but I still bond quickly with them. maybe you're the odd one out?


If you bond quickly and deeply and want to have sex quickly, yes, you are a real odd one. That is an atypical trait mix.


then how come most people on okc do the same?

I don't think a month is too quickly. thats 31 days. is it a complete bond now but its a bond I like them they like me. ie they aren't the same as some randomw person I meet on the street. I feel attached to them and would be upset if they got hurt or died.

though I don't expect you to understand do to how you think about people who like sex.



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30 Jul 2015, 2:04 am

League_Girl wrote:
sly279 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
sly279 wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
This is why the "no sex for 6 months rule". If a guy can't stick around and actually "date" a woman and really get to know her - he isn't worth her time. You will know then what his real intentions were. And some men may say that 6 months is too long, but it isn't if both people have a life and only see each other a couple times a week.


don't think thats your call to make and its really generalzing. i don't think anyone who isn't willing to wait 10 years for sex is worth a womans time. see its a arbitary number, so it could be replaced with anything. lots of people hace sex right at the start and have long fulfilling relationships.

any woman who wont' have sex after a month of being together isn't worth my time, shes just playing games or not sexually compatible. fyi anyone who is won't be able to wait 6 months either. most women on okcup list that they would have sex around 3-5 dates, very few say 6 months or longer unless they christians saying until marriage. then other say 1-2 dates.

honestly such a woman as you describe is judgemental and not worth a mans time.

his real attentions is not to get played with by a woman, he wants a long term romantic and yes sexual relationship perhaps leading to marriage. just because a guy doesn't want to wait freaking half a year to have sex doesn't mean hes only after sex.

only see each other a couple times a week you mean like 90% of people do?
does it take you years to bond and attach to someone, it usually just takes a few weeks for most people even shorter for people like me.


I probably said that wrong. Let me rephrase it - if a guy doesn't want to get to know me before there is any sex (and I don't mean 3-5 dates) then he isn't worth MY time.

I don't attach to people like you do and from what I've read (even my Aspie friend) it takes a lot of time for some Aspies to bond and trust someone. So I think you're wrong by saying "most people only take a few weeks or less to bond". You might be one of the few.


Let me tell you something else. I think why it takes you so little time to fall for someone is because you have made finding someone your one main goal in life and its gonna end up biting you in the a**. Why? Because you are going to become a "clinger" to that person and they will most definitely run in the other direction because they will feel suffocated. That's just my opinion of what I can see happening. No one wants to be someone else's total reason for happiness.


I should also add that clinging to a person so soon can raise a red flag for a woman because that is something a future abuser does to lure their victim.

One of the red flags when dating is when a man can't get enough of you, they are crazy over you and always want to talk to you and be with you and always thinking about you. Yeah red flag for abuse so run. Even if he isn't an abuser, he had raised a false red flag then so he would have to slow down while dating.


bonding/being attached =/= clinging to them.

oh how crazy someone likes you oh no only abusers like people run. I just won't bother and end it in few years. I can't help being who I am I'm not an independent don't care about anyone person. so f**k me.



Read about domestic abuse and red flags, it will tell you the same thing so this is not even my opinion.


really always seemed to me abusers are distant and uncaring and give very little time to their partners.