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It is possible to simply not have what women want?

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Alliekit
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05 Dec 2016, 7:09 pm

Outrider wrote:
He means do men and women have similar taste regarding what personal attributes they want?

What quite a few men in this thread may or may not believe is that women tend to care far more about income, job, education level, etc. Than many men do.

I haven't been able to find much except for a single study that says men are more willing to date someone who still lives at home than vice versa.
http://www.foxbusiness.com/features/201 ... te-me.html

Quote:
Men seem to be more forgiving of the living arrangements. Nearly 40% of women say they wouldn’t date someone who lived with their parents compared to just 18% of men. This was true across the board, despite age, the survey shows.


Ohh I see. It's quite late here and i have to be in the lab in the morning so I will share some ones I've found interesting tommorow :). One of those I shared talked about what was preferred during a speed dating environment if you can't access it let me know and I will give you a summary :) :). I know men and women have their failings due to natural laws of attraction and always find it an interesting topic.



314pe
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06 Dec 2016, 4:32 am

Alliekit wrote:
314pe wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Here is a scientific study that shows that what you right in your 'about me' section is nearly as important as photographs

http://dl.acm.org/citation.cfm?id=1357181

And another study that shows men are inherently more judgemental of apperance whereas women are more judgemental of personality trait's in online dating

https://www.aeaweb.org/articles?id=10.1 ... .100.1.130

And another supporting the abobe showing how men prefer phsyical features whereas women were attracted by mindfulness

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/ar ... 6915001336

But no evidence whether the preferred features are similar or not?


I'm sorry could you elaborate I'm a bit confused :)

It doesn't really prove that people have a broad taste (that they're individualistic). If people aren't individualistic about this, then it's entirely possible that some individuals would lack features that most potential partners prefer, isn't it?

Alliekit wrote:
I know men and women have their failings due to natural laws of attraction and always find it an interesting topic.

Interesting but often too controversial to discuss.

Outrider wrote:
He means do men and women have similar taste regarding what personal attributes they want?

What quite a few men in this thread may or may not believe is that women tend to care far more about income, job, education level, etc. Than many men do.

I haven't been able to find much except for a single study that says men are more willing to date someone who still lives at home than vice versa.

Yes. For example, say people cared about those features (income, job and education). Then if people are really individualistic, some people would prefer to date someone with low income and less educated than them. But that doesn't make sense. That doesn't bring any advantages to the relationship. Well apart from special cases. Like if you wanted to cheat on or scam your partner, then you would want someone naive, for example. But apart from that it would seem logical that most people want the same features.

In other words, people aren't individualistic and some don't have what their potential partners would want from them.



auntblabby
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06 Dec 2016, 4:56 am

314pe wrote:
some people would prefer to date someone with low income and less educated than them. But that doesn't make sense. That doesn't bring any advantages to the relationship. Well apart from special cases. Like if you wanted to cheat on or scam your partner, then you would want someone naive, for example.


not always that reason, I myself would not mind somebody less intelligent than myself [not that i'm any great shakes in that department] for the simple reason that i'm guessing they'd be less likely to eventually become disenchanted with me and less likely to take as much offense at my various faults.



Alliekit
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06 Dec 2016, 1:48 pm

314pe wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
314pe wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Here is a scientific study that shows that what you right in your 'about me' section is nearly as important as photographs

http://dl.acm.org/citation.cfm?id=1357181

And another study that shows men are inherently more judgemental of apperance whereas women are more judgemental of personality trait's in online dating

https://www.aeaweb.org/articles?id=10.1 ... .100.1.130

And another supporting the abobe showing how men prefer phsyical features whereas women were attracted by mindfulness

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/ar ... 6915001336

But no evidence whether the preferred features are similar or not?


I'm sorry could you elaborate I'm a bit confused :)

It doesn't really prove that people have a broad taste (that they're individualistic). If people aren't individualistic about this, then it's entirely possible that some individuals would lack features that most potential partners prefer, isn't it?

Alliekit wrote:
I know men and women have their failings due to natural laws of attraction and always find it an interesting topic.

Interesting but often too controversial to discuss.

Outrider wrote:
He means do men and women have similar taste regarding what personal attributes they want?

What quite a few men in this thread may or may not believe is that women tend to care far more about income, job, education level, etc. Than many men do.

I haven't been able to find much except for a single study that says men are more willing to date someone who still lives at home than vice versa.

Yes. For example, say people cared about those features (income, job and education). Then if people are really individualistic, some people would prefer to date someone with low income and less educated than them. But that doesn't make sense. That doesn't bring any advantages to the relationship. Well apart from special cases. Like if you wanted to cheat on or scam your partner, then you would want someone naive, for example. But apart from that it would seem logical that most people want the same features.

In other words, people aren't individualistic and some don't have what their potential partners would want from them.


Ahh ok I see. So keeping in mind the speed dating experiment was calculated using the mean that would suggest that there is individualism due to having scales on either end. There is this thing called a normal distribution that occurs (as seen below). This means that while the majority of people would fall into the peak by laws of distribution there will be exceptions to the rule. In this particular experiment it shows that results of individuals were very different from one another as the standard deviation of both female and males attraction was high. (how much it deviates from the norm/peak of the curve). A high SD suggests that there were many people who deviated from the norm on both sides (i.e. men who preferred personality over looks and women who preferred physical features over personality).

Image



Alliekit
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06 Dec 2016, 2:02 pm

To be honest humans are both individualistic and collective as both are necessary for survival. Collectivism is an evolutionary development to protect from dangers and infection which is why there are often seen behaviors that a majority of people follow. However Individualism is necessary for development, discovery and evolution of the species as without it new inventions or thoughts would not occur.

Simply by the fact that humans are an exception to the natural rule that animals live by (living in stone buildings and taming other animals) supports the thinking that there are exceptions to every rule. Humans evolved this way by complete chance because that is what genetic mutation is, a random occurrence.

Interestingly culture can have a massive effect on individualism in regards to mate preference. Some cultures are more likely to look for the majority preferred traits of that culture than others.



sly279
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07 Dec 2016, 12:47 am

auntblabby wrote:
314pe wrote:
some people would prefer to date someone with low income and less educated than them. But that doesn't make sense. That doesn't bring any advantages to the relationship. Well apart from special cases. Like if you wanted to cheat on or scam your partner, then you would want someone naive, for example.


not always that reason, I myself would not mind somebody less intelligent than myself [not that i'm any great shakes in that department] for the simple reason that i'm guessing they'd be less likely to eventually become disenchanted with me and less likely to take as much offense at my various faults.

Yes but all things being equal and the only difference being ones as smart ads you and the other is less smart. You'd pick the first.

Everything being equal I'd pick a petite woman. I don't mind bigger women though, but if two women very similar were interested in me I'd probably go for the petite one.

Likewise there's a lot of guys who offer everything I can offer, but they have good jobs and a car. So of course women will want and hold out for those successful guys, why would they setter for less when there's good chance they can get a successful guy who allows offered everything I do?



auntblabby
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07 Dec 2016, 12:51 am

sly279 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
314pe wrote:
some people would prefer to date someone with low income and less educated than them. But that doesn't make sense. That doesn't bring any advantages to the relationship. Well apart from special cases. Like if you wanted to cheat on or scam your partner, then you would want someone naive, for example.


not always that reason, I myself would not mind somebody less intelligent than myself [not that i'm any great shakes in that department] for the simple reason that i'm guessing they'd be less likely to eventually become disenchanted with me and less likely to take as much offense at my various faults.

Yes but all things being equal and the only difference being ones as smart ads you and the other is less smart. You'd pick the first.

Everything being equal I'd pick a petite woman. I don't mind bigger women though, but if two women very similar were interested in me I'd probably go for the petite one.

Likewise there's a lot of guys who offer everything I can offer, but they have good jobs and a car. So of course women will want and hold out for those successful guys, why would they setter for less when there's good chance they can get a successful guy who allows offered everything I do?

i'd still choose somebody less intelligent than me because it has been my experience that people of my cognitive level tend to want a LOT more than what I have to offer.



sly279
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07 Dec 2016, 1:19 am

auntblabby wrote:
sly279 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
314pe wrote:
some people would prefer to date someone with low income and less educated than them. But that doesn't make sense. That doesn't bring any advantages to the relationship. Well apart from special cases. Like if you wanted to cheat on or scam your partner, then you would want someone naive, for example.


not always that reason, I myself would not mind somebody less intelligent than myself [not that i'm any great shakes in that department] for the simple reason that i'm guessing they'd be less likely to eventually become disenchanted with me and less likely to take as much offense at my various faults.

Yes but all things being equal and the only difference being ones as smart ads you and the other is less smart. You'd pick the first.

Everything being equal I'd pick a petite woman. I don't mind bigger women though, but if two women very similar were interested in me I'd probably go for the petite one.

Likewise there's a lot of guys who offer everything I can offer, but they have good jobs and a car. So of course women will want and hold out for those successful guys, why would they setter for less when there's good chance they can get a successful guy who allows offered everything I do?

i'd still choose somebody less intelligent than me because it has been my experience that people of my cognitive level tend to want a LOT more than what I have to offer.

So you'd reject a nice lady who's as smart as you who likes you?

And most people will always aim higher then what they can get.
People always want more.

I dont offer anything as bunch peoplemon wp pointed out to me and other guys here.



auntblabby
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07 Dec 2016, 1:26 am

sly279 wrote:
So you'd reject a nice lady who's as smart as you who likes you? And most people will always aim higher then what they can get. People always want more. I dont offer anything as bunch peoplemon wp pointed out to me and other guys here.

of course I would, but my experience has been that people at about my cognitive level tend to want much more than what I have to offer. IOW people at my level of thinking are not interested in me.



sly279
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07 Dec 2016, 1:31 am

auntblabby wrote:
sly279 wrote:
So you'd reject a nice lady who's as smart as you who likes you? And most people will always aim higher then what they can get. People always want more. I dont offer anything as bunch peoplemon wp pointed out to me and other guys here.

of course I would, but my experience has been that people at about my cognitive level tend to want much more than what I have to offer. IOW people at my level of thinking are not interested in me.

But I thought you saw yourself as not as mild as others?

I'd worry about being seen as taking advantage of someone not as smart. Also how do you tell smart? just cause someone has a degree or went to college doesn't make them smart.



auntblabby
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07 Dec 2016, 1:38 am

sly279 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
sly279 wrote:
So you'd reject a nice lady who's as smart as you who likes you? And most people will always aim higher then what they can get. People always want more. I dont offer anything as bunch peoplemon wp pointed out to me and other guys here.

of course I would, but my experience has been that people at about my cognitive level tend to want much more than what I have to offer. IOW people at my level of thinking are not interested in me.

But I thought you saw yourself as not as mild as others?

I'd worry about being seen as taking advantage of someone not as smart. Also how do you tell smart? just cause someone has a degree or went to college doesn't make them smart.

i'm moderate functioning over all but according to various shrinks, for brief periods I can "present well" [referring to quasi-savant-ish (in a relative sense) levels of higher functioning]. the women [or men] who are my functional equivalent all want somebody better than me. I can tell if they are at my level [or above] if they grok what i'm saying to them, conceptually. generally, just about everybody else otherwise [mentally] comparable to me, have uni degrees and higher social status. if I wasn't as addled, I would be more like those more fortunate people.



WantToHaveALife
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31 Dec 2016, 9:52 pm

definetley more common than we think



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11 Jul 2017, 8:12 am

auntblabby wrote:
sly279 wrote:
So you'd reject a nice lady who's as smart as you who likes you? And most people will always aim higher then what they can get. People always want more. I dont offer anything as bunch peoplemon wp pointed out to me and other guys here.

of course I would, but my experience has been that people at about my cognitive level tend to want much more than what I have to offer. IOW people at my level of thinking are not interested in me.

People at my level of thinking know what I should be capable of and if I don't have what they think I can obtain they don't tend to show much interest.

I aim for a simple life out of the rat race. It is not necessarily what a lot of women want but it by no means determines that I have no redeeming qualities or attributes that women might want.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2017, 9:53 am

Plenty of women want out of the "rat race," too. Trust me.

I don't believe it's possible to "simply not have what women want." As long as you're clean and don't look like Quasimodo, and don't go around like a raving lunatic, I find that it is possible to find a suitable woman.



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11 Jul 2017, 10:49 am

I watched a dating show in which the woman walked out on a good looking rich dude before the meal arrived. I think she wanted they guy to show some interest in her.



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11 Jul 2017, 11:17 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Plenty of women want out of the "rat race," too. Trust me.

I don't believe it's possible to "simply not have what women want." As long as you're clean and don't look like Quasimodo, and don't go around like a raving lunatic, I find that it is possible to find a suitable woman.


Your optimism is admirable but I find it hard to believe.