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How do some people get partners so easily?

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androbot01
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08 Jan 2017, 5:01 am

I'm going to agree that more women get cat-called (I don't know if this is true or not, but I'll go with it.) But my point is not to do with these percentages, but rather that the gender difference is irrelevant. Why not group people by whether they have been catcalled or not and take gender out of it?

When you define a group by generalizations you marginalize the person you associate with that group and it's just not healthy to do this. You're basing your behaviour on inaccurate information and starting off from a position of resentment.



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08 Jan 2017, 5:07 am

androbot01 wrote:
I'm going to agree that more women get cat-called (I don't know if this is true or not, but I'll go with it.) But my point is not to do with these percentages, but rather that the gender difference is irrelevant. Why not group people by whether they have been catcalled or not and take gender out of it?

When you define a group by generalizations you marginalize the person you associate with that group and it's just not healthy to do this. You're basing your behaviour on inaccurate information and starting off from a position of resentment.


8O

Ok.. maybe we got a little ahead of ourselves in explaining the differences between men & women. Let's start at the beginning so we're all on the same page: Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.

:lol: Surely you can't be serious? :?


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08 Jan 2017, 5:36 am

goldfish21 wrote:
androbot01 wrote:
I'm going to agree that more women get cat-called (I don't know if this is true or not, but I'll go with it.) But my point is not to do with these percentages, but rather that the gender difference is irrelevant. Why not group people by whether they have been catcalled or not and take gender out of it?

When you define a group by generalizations you marginalize the person you associate with that group and it's just not healthy to do this. You're basing your behaviour on inaccurate information and starting off from a position of resentment.


8O

Ok.. maybe we got a little ahead of ourselves in explaining the differences between men & women. Let's start at the beginning so we're all on the same page: Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.

:lol: Surely you can't be serious? :?



Oh My God stop being transphobic you cis-scum!!

/sarcasm :lol:


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Peacesells
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08 Jan 2017, 5:49 am

androbot01 wrote:
I'm going to agree that more women get cat-called (I don't know if this is true or not, but I'll go with it.) But my point is not to do with these percentages, but rather that the gender difference is irrelevant. Why not group people by whether they have been catcalled or not and take gender out of it?

When you define a group by generalizations you marginalize the person you associate with that group and it's just not healthy to do this. You're basing your behaviour on inaccurate information and starting off from a position of resentment.

Actually, if you take a guy who gets catcalled and ask him if it's true that it's mostly experienced by women he'll probably say that it's true.
But why do you see analyzing real data as marginalizing someone?
I can say that it is mostly experienced by women and still take it seriously when it's experienced by men. It doesn't mean that they don't matter because they are fewer.
It would be merginalizing them if I said that it was ONLY experienced by women.



Alliekit
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08 Jan 2017, 6:13 am

Peacesells wrote:
I would like to ask the women who pass by here if they really find that my "in general" is prejudicial. Please, answer!


I don't think the phrase 'in dating the genders face different types of problems' is prejuice.

However as androbot described there have been instances on this site where a young woman has come on and made a post about struggling and subsequently been told things like 'it should be easy for you', and 'just dress up and dance and you will get someone' etc. This is pretty dismissive and often their threads get taken over without being offered any real help.

At the same time I can see what androbot is trying to say. We are all autistic and have social problems so why is it always about gender. Why am I constantly treated in such a way of 'your a woman you wouldnt understand because only men go through it'?.



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08 Jan 2017, 6:27 am

Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
I would like to ask the women who pass by here if they really find that my "in general" is prejudicial. Please, answer!

However as androbot described there have been instances on this site where a young woman has come on and made a post about struggling and subsequently been told things like 'it should be easy for you', and 'just dress up and dance and you will get someone' etc. This is pretty dismissive and often their threads get taken over without being offered any real help.

Sounds to me like someone hasn't done enough dressing up and dancing, young lady!
:shameonyou: :shameonyou: :shameonyou: :lol:


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Alliekit
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08 Jan 2017, 6:58 am

TheSpectrum wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
I would like to ask the women who pass by here if they really find that my "in general" is prejudicial. Please, answer!

However as androbot described there have been instances on this site where a young woman has come on and made a post about struggling and subsequently been told things like 'it should be easy for you', and 'just dress up and dance and you will get someone' etc. This is pretty dismissive and often their threads get taken over without being offered any real help.

Sounds to me like someone hasn't done enough dressing up and dancing, young lady!
:shameonyou: :shameonyou: :shameonyou: :lol:


I've tried :lol: They dont seem to appreciate my sick moves :lol: :lol: :lol:



androbot01
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08 Jan 2017, 7:04 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.

I already addressed obvious physical differences.

Peacesells wrote:
But why do you see analyzing real data as marginalizing someone?

I haven't seen any real data in this thread.

Alliekit wrote:
...At the same time I can see what androbot is trying to say. We are all autistic and have social problems so why is it always about gender. Why am I constantly treated in such a way of 'your a woman you wouldnt understand because only men go through it'?.

Exactly. This is what I mean by scapegoating women.

TheSpectrum wrote:
Sounds to me like someone hasn't done enough dressing up and dancing, young lady!

I assume this is sarcasm, but I'm not sure what your point is. It both mocks and reinforces the stereotype ... tricky.



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Jan 2017, 7:07 am

Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
I would like to ask the women who pass by here if they really find that my "in general" is prejudicial. Please, answer!


I don't think the phrase 'in dating the genders face different types of problems' is prejuice.

However as androbot described there have been instances on this site where a young woman has come on and made a post about struggling and subsequently been told things like 'it should be easy for you', and 'just dress up and dance and you will get someone' etc. This is pretty dismissive and often their threads get taken over without being offered any real help.

At the same time I can see what androbot is trying to say. We are all autistic and have social problems so why is it always about gender. Why am I constantly treated in such a way of 'your a woman you wouldnt understand because only men go through it'?.


If you were a male aspie, same self and same education...etc, do you think you would have lost your virginity at 18, having first boyfriend at 19 and then getting engaged around 20?

You think nothing would have changed when it comes to relationships?



Peacesells
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08 Jan 2017, 7:14 am

Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
I would like to ask the women who pass by here if they really find that my "in general" is prejudicial. Please, answer!


I don't think the phrase 'in dating the genders face different types of problems' is prejuice.

However as androbot described there have been instances on this site where a young woman has come on and made a post about struggling and subsequently been told things like 'it should be easy for you', and 'just dress up and dance and you will get someone' etc. This is pretty dismissive and often their threads get taken over without being offered any real help.

I think everybody can see that I am often quite mean to guys when they say stupid stuff like that.
Quote:
At the same time I can see what androbot is trying to say. We are all autistic and have social problems so why is it always about gender. Why am I constantly treated in such a way of 'your a woman you wouldnt understand because only men go through it'?.

Simply, because we were discussing about gender. That's why we are talking about gender.
I actually say that to males who were successful at dating too. Putting yourself in someone's shoes is not that easy, especially if you've never been in that situation.
Peacesells wrote:
I haven't seen any real data in this thread.

Are you seriously saying that it's not real that women experience catcalling much more than guys?



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Jan 2017, 7:20 am

Image

It is defintely a problem that women face way more.



Alliekit
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08 Jan 2017, 7:25 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
I would like to ask the women who pass by here if they really find that my "in general" is prejudicial. Please, answer!


I don't think the phrase 'in dating the genders face different types of problems' is prejuice.

However as androbot described there have been instances on this site where a young woman has come on and made a post about struggling and subsequently been told things like 'it should be easy for you', and 'just dress up and dance and you will get someone' etc. This is pretty dismissive and often their threads get taken over without being offered any real help.

At the same time I can see what androbot is trying to say. We are all autistic and have social problems so why is it always about gender. Why am I constantly treated in such a way of 'your a woman you wouldnt understand because only men go through it'?.


If you were a male aspie, same self and same education...etc, do you think you would have lost your virginity at 18, having first boyfriend at 19 and then getting engaged around 20?

You think nothing would have changed when it comes to relationships?


Oh my god it's like you didn't even read it. I said that males and females have different problems.

Female aspies can have the same problems even if I did not!

Why is it always about gender with you?



Alliekit
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08 Jan 2017, 7:27 am

Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
I would like to ask the women who pass by here if they really find that my "in general" is prejudicial. Please, answer!


I don't think the phrase 'in dating the genders face different types of problems' is prejuice.

However as androbot described there have been instances on this site where a young woman has come on and made a post about struggling and subsequently been told things like 'it should be easy for you', and 'just dress up and dance and you will get someone' etc. This is pretty dismissive and often their threads get taken over without being offered any real help.

I think everybody can see that I am often quite mean to guys when they say stupid stuff like that.
Quote:
At the same time I can see what androbot is trying to say. We are all autistic and have social problems so why is it always about gender. Why am I constantly treated in such a way of 'your a woman you wouldnt understand because only men go through it'?.

Simply, because we were discussing about gender. That's why we are talking about gender.
I actually say that to males who were successful at dating too. Putting yourself in someone's shoes is not that easy, especially if you've never been in that situation.
Peacesells wrote:
I haven't seen any real data in this thread.

Are you seriously saying that it's not real that women experience catcalling much more than guys?


Please know that wasn't personally directed at you :). I was just referring to other trees where girls come on having problems. Also have noticed that guys can blame the girls for being picky on this site (although a rare occurance)



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08 Jan 2017, 7:28 am

Alliekit wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
I would like to ask the women who pass by here if they really find that my "in general" is prejudicial. Please, answer!


I don't think the phrase 'in dating the genders face different types of problems' is prejuice.

However as androbot described there have been instances on this site where a young woman has come on and made a post about struggling and subsequently been told things like 'it should be easy for you', and 'just dress up and dance and you will get someone' etc. This is pretty dismissive and often their threads get taken over without being offered any real help.

At the same time I can see what androbot is trying to say. We are all autistic and have social problems so why is it always about gender. Why am I constantly treated in such a way of 'your a woman you wouldnt understand because only men go through it'?.


If you were a male aspie, same self and same education...etc, do you think you would have lost your virginity at 18, having first boyfriend at 19 and then getting engaged around 20?

You think nothing would have changed when it comes to relationships?


Oh my god it's like you didn't even read it. I said that males and females have different problems.

Female aspies can have the same problems even if I did not!

Why is it always about gender with you?


Ok fair enough.



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08 Jan 2017, 7:34 am

Do any of you use dating sites? If so, which ones would you recommend?

I am tempted to subscribe to eharmony for a year, but its reviews are dreadful.


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08 Jan 2017, 7:35 am

Women don't like catcalling for understandable reasons. Creeps tend to do it in a possibly threatening manner, and sometimes cat callers demand that a woman respond, sometimes forcefully and in at least something of a physical manner. Sometimes,a few men even surround a woman in places like subways; I've seen this.

Women catcalling men, generally, doesn't carry as much of a potential threat as vice versa.