Slys dating site advice help thread.

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The only flats I have been in were found in these two ways. If I didn’t use those I would be living in my car.

But is that really safe? Did you do some kind of background checks on them or ask some reliable sources if those people were safe to be around? Or were you really just brave and, pardon me for saying this, stupid enough to go in blind?

Clearly you meet them and get a feel for them and the place. Stupidity has nothing to do with it. You choose the area they live, look at their jobs, age and lifestyle, and pick up any vibes when you go there. Any nutty or weird vibes, you walk out. It’s so common here and unheard of to only live with people you know, (unless you have a very large social base; most people don’t) in a large city full of international people, who generally don’t know anyone.

Certain areas of the city and certain stereotypes of people I wouldn’t even consider living with.

I feel like I'd give off a lot of nutty/weird vibes considering I have a passion for bugs.

I don’t get vibes off people or I’d not handed those 1,000 dollar Binos over to the guy who stole them.

Wow really? Wouldn't it be easy to just find a flat on www.realestate.co.nz?

I don't get vibes of people either What's a Bino?

You don’t seem to to me. When I say weird I don’t mean aspieish or weird interests. Vibes are something completely different to personality traits. You don’t come across as someone who would be a danger to be around.

People at wp have in the past. One WP member years ago had the worst vibes I’ve ever felt about someone. He started harassing me and sending me death threats 5 years later (I simply told him on wp to stop sending women abusive pms when they rejected his advances) and I found out he had several restraining orders against him.

Noone uses that. Does it even have an option to find flatmates? Everyone uses facebook groups and trademe.

First two flats I found on trademe flatmates wanted, third flat I found on Auckland flatmates wanted facebook group.

Picking up vibes can be good and bad. Sometimes it’s not pleasant to be able to pick up someone you work with is a complete scumbag for no “real” reason when everyone else likes them. Always turns out to be right as well.

MWAAAA HA HA HA!! !!

Well yes of course, but can one or two meetings that give you good vibes really quarantee they're safe to be around? Or do you meet up a lot before making the desicion? Even if the area's good, they have proper jobs and have healthy and normal lifestyles they could still turn out to be horrible, dangerous people. Even if they seem decent there are still risks... of course there are risks even with people one has known for a long time, but the chances for something going wrong with friends should be smaller.

Not that I'm saying you shouldn't do it, especially if it's common there, just that it could be dangerous so keep your guard up... but well, you probably already do. I could certainly never do something like that; sounds way too dangerous.

You believe too much radically in vibes, HP, it is ridiculous.

This is a normal process of finding roommates in a city. I haven't done it as I rent from family and have rented my own place, but so many friends/coworkers have - especially when they're new to the city. There's also gay specific facebook pages for finding roommates. Anyways, it's how people find housing & people to split the exorbitant rent with. If you meet someone, or their housing collective, and get a bad feeling.. don't take the room, don't move in. If you move in and things go sideways, move out. Pretty simple.

And no lol it's very doubtful people go meet potential roommates several times before deciding. Places to rent at a reasonable price are hard to come by, so it's more like "nice to meet you, glad to sense you're not a serial killer, I'll take the room." Especially in certain desirable neighbourhoods. I'd imagine if you tried to set up several meetings with potential roommates they wouldn't even schedule them. They'd be like, "Uh, dude, we're living our lives.. you wanna sleep in the room next door or not?" Sure, it's maybe a bit more civil and personal than that.. but really, all there is to it is seeing the space, location, price, and meeting the roommates. Either you're in or you're not and they rent it to someone else.

I know it's who you live with and all, but ya there's no thorough background checks going on.. just people meeting people and deciding they can tolerate (or like) each others presence in order to split the bills. Hell, many older homes now have 8-10 people living in them, each in very small rooms, in order to cover the extreme cost of rent to live near the most sought after University here.

Vibes are very real. You can tell what kind of person someone is from your first impression of their vibe as you meet. Some people gie off a very negative sinister vibe and there's no way I'd want to be around them, others are friendly & happy and good to be near.

Binocular. Used to see far away. They can cost upwards of 10,000 dollars.