Will I have to become what I hate?

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Whatever. Not sure how that generalization is relevant or how it makes your comment any less a promotion of abusing women. It's just creepy, in fact. If only women would give you the chance to abuse them--poor you!

If only you could be dominant and abuse women. You poor thing!

I can explain my own words, I don't need you to speak for me.

Me? He’ll no. I was not. Just that guys who do abuse women all have gfs. And. Ever have problems getting new gfs. I was joking and am depressed.

I am starting to hate women, but I’d never hurt anyone. I’d also sadly help them if they asked for it. As much as I’d like to not to. I’d love to be like no b**ch move the box by yourself, but I can’t stop being nice and I don’t call women such words. Though if I could and did I might very well end up with one of those women who finds themselves attractive to abusvie a**h**les. But no. I couldn’t become a real man if I wanted to it’s against my basic instincts, I was raised wrong by all women. I took the golden rule literally though currently I rethinking it as no one treats me as they want to be treated unless they want to be treated horribly. I’m also morally bound to morals and laws unlike most people. I’m as people have said an antique of past times that’s rare and should be cheerished(their words not mine) I think I should die along with others like me. We are relics of a long lost past. We shouldn’t exist in this cruel horrible in caring world. I was born in the wrong time period.

My sister mom, grandma and their friends also don’t get why a lot of women are attracted to a users. My sisters friend who I wanted to date for example goes from abusvie guy to absusive guy over and over. My niece did too.
So it’s not just guy thing, women don’t get it either.

Please quite trying to pretray me as promoting abusing women. I don’t abuse women, I’ve been physically abused by a woman and I never did anything back because it’s not ok to every hit a woman. She also abusved me emotional and mentally and I didn’t do anything back. I’m not capable of abusing people. I do t even kill Inects or spiders unless there’s no other choice, I value all life. I’d give my life to save people who are mean to me. Women are cruel to me on a daily basis and I still try to help them.

A lot of women here dislike me I’m sure but I doubt any of them would think I could abuse women.

Uh.
Yup well going add you to troll ignore list. You say your not Katie but act like her. I tried to give you benifit of doubt. I tried to defend you how horrible of me

Go accuse others of abuse and leave me alone.

Okay Sly abusing women is not going to give more of a chance to date women. I'm not questioning you, but I am questioning what you wrote.

Sly wouldn’t abuse women. He was simply implying that a lot of women don’t care if their man does.

My eyes can trick me and so can my ears.

Indeed. I wonder about that. My working theory is some women find something about the drama abuse cycles to be addictive. I really can’t understand it any other way. It’s like, “This guy is DIFFERENT. He’s just like my ex but he would never slap me around.” Until he DOES slap her around and she calls the police on him for domestic abuse. And then she bails him out of jail, disregards the restraining order if she has one, forgives him, and goes right back to him.

Then breaks up with him for another guy. Who is DIFFERENT this time...

I think there are a number of situations like that in which for HER it’s more of a kink. She doesn’t consciously recognize it as a kink, but it is. What makes it worse is her guy really is dangerous and there are no boundaries between fantasy role-play and actual abuse—because the man really is like that. He’s not playing a role. He’s serious.

I strongly suspect my ex of being one of those girls who’d have preferred that I knocked her around somewhat. Not enough to leave a mark, just enough to excite her. Trouble is, I really don’t know how far too far is. I wouldn’t have known the difference between her trying to tell me she wants to be pushed around and forced versus she was genuinely upset with me. I live by “when in doubt, DON’T.” Ok, so I never did and I never will, and I broke up with her.

I can’t help but wonder if something like that isn’t more often the case than we’d like to admit.

I do wonder why so many girls at the school I went to put up with guys harassing them. I don't know if it's due to the societal brainwashing of the Bible Belt or if they confused jerks as being confident. I really hated high school and I will never attend a class reunion.

It's a daily struggle to keep from snapping. I don't know how much longer it can last. I'll be 30 this year and if I don't have a girlfriend by then, I don't want to live anymore.

Some women keep ending up with abusive guys because it is all they know. They probably grew up around abusive men. Fathers and other male relatives basically are supposed to teach their daughters how they should be treated by men. If they abuse their daughters and wives, than the daughter will think it is normal and gravitate towards abusive guys.

Let's get one thing straight: women do not want abusive men. In SOME parts of the country SOME women may like men who appear to be able to "take charge," and be the "head of the house," but in the vision that isn't abusive, mean, or hurtful. It's more like when everyone starts talking about where to go for dinner, instead of "whatever you want" and the back and forth that can ensue, the man says, "we're going to X." Those are women who want to (or believe they should) be relieved of the responsibility of adult decision making, and who want to feel "protected," not women who want to be yelled at or mistreated for reasons that make no sense. Its the concept of being "taken care of," not the concept of being ordered about for no good reason. I realize that the difference isn't obvious to someone looking from the outside in, and even a lot of women have trouble seeing the difference while dating, but it is EXTREMELY important. NO ONE actually wants to marry a jerk, even if some women like the idea of being with someone who is a jerk to others but is sweet TO THEM; it makes them feel special to be the only person a guy is nice to; like they've magically tamed him or something. That is one of those images society constantly sells women: how women can tame a wild beast.

Unfortunately the definition of "nice guy" changes a lot with context, so there is only so much a person can take from someone saying they don't date "nice" guys, and that isn't much at all.

I've been around long enough to hear a lot of different women tell their relationship stories. a LOT of different women. NO ONE has ever said, "I fell for him when he acted like a jerk." They almost ALWAYS talk about some sweet or vulnerable thing he did or said. Sometimes in connection with being impressed at some overly confident behavior, sometimes not, but the sweet or vulnerable element is pretty much always there.

Are many women trapped in relationships with horrible men? Yes, but to think they "choose" that is wrong. They were LIED TO. They were misled. Those are NOT healthy, loving relationships. Do NOT look at the unhealthy relationships you see and believe that is how to get a girlfriend. BOTH people in those relationships are basically miserable, and taking that out on each other. It is NO WAY to live. Most of those couples will eventually break up and both (hopefully) will learn to do better next time. If they don't, they will either go in and out of marriages or end up single and forever dating, with nothing but loneliness when they get to the end. What is it that you want? A relationship, or a chance to #@@*#(!&? Understand that the later isn't going to ever make you stop feeling lonely. Those jerk guys you see getting girls? It's hollow. There is no end to loneliness in it, and eventually either they will figure it out and change their behavior, or they will end biter, hateful and ALONE. They may boast about their "success," but that is a cover, a way to stick a band aide on a womb they have yet to actually understand. Do not aspire to be like them. Do not wish you were like them. It is a losing proposition for you on every imaginable level.

The truly abusive men I know are masters of manipulation. They don't let it all show at first. It will gradually slip into their behavior while they gaslight the woman into believing that what happened wasn't his fault, but hers. They make sure the rest of the world thinks they are a nice guy, and that all makes it worse: people are always praising the guy to the woman, and that reinforces to her that it must be her, not him. By the time they are letting the abusive behavior show to the world, she is so far "sold" that she isn't capable of believing it is him and not her.

This is a very complicated subject that I do happen to have quite a decent amount of history with but don't think is appropriate for this thread. The short summary is that the women are manipulated. They don't choose it.

I have known guys like that. The abuse cycle is a hard cycle to break. A lady in my community was recently killed by her abuser because she tried to leave him for good. Some women don't make it out alive.

Marknis, it breaks my heart to see you like this. I wish I could do more. But first, I have to remind you, despite knowing you don't want to hear it:

You can't tie your ability to be happy to another person. You've surely heard this a million times. I went through all that at your age and I can tell you that it is the goal itself that is destroying you. You HAVE to be happy with and for yourself. There is no way around it, either in a relationship or alone. My husband and I were both 36 when we got married, and both of us had spent a lot of years wondering if it would ever be in the cards for us. The problem was that we both still had things we needed to learn and do as single individuals, even though we would have denied it at the time (it is something a person can only see after they've finally learned and done those things). I could not have been the partner I am to my husband if I had married him 5 years earlier than I did; it's the simple truth. We weren't ready for each other, and the relationship would have failed.

This is NOT me telling you that you are not worthy of love. You ARE worthy. But to get to D you need to go through A, B and C. What I want you to believe is that D IS out there for you when the time is right, and that your happiness right now depends on you navigating A, B and C, NOT waiting for D. One of those steps certainly is either moving from where you are, or finding enough of "your people" there to build a life within your own bubble. Moving seems like the more likely answer to me from what I've read, but that will be for you to choose.

I want you to envision a day where you could be happy without a girlfriend. Just one day. What would you be doing? Where would you be?

It’s not that women end up abused so much that bothers me for the sake of THIS discussion. It’s that women get out of those relationships only to get into new relationships that are about the same or worse. What happened with me was a role reversal. For me, once I got out, I reflected on all that happened and made up my mind I would NEVER date that type of woman or end up in that kind of relationship. A lot of women I’m sure do step back and see those men for what they are. I have a hard understanding women who end up in a string of abusive relationships.

I do agree that men are manipulators. All of us are to certain degrees. We want sex or a relationship so we put our best face forward and control as much of our environment to elicit a desired response that leads to us getting what we want. That’s just human nature and women do it, too.

But certain men... my wife’s ex-bf was one of those. After we had him arrested, one of my profs gave me a hard time and said I should have stayed out of it. A few people said I should have just minded my own business. And this guy got as many people as he could without resorting to subpoenas to be character witnesses. I think we got lucky because the judge could see right through the charismatic “I’m-such-a-wonderful-guy-everyone-loves-me” bs that always worked on everyone else.

My wife is convinced that had she stayed with him she’d be dead by now.