Just avoiding the subject here.

Post Reply New Topic

For all the thought I can put into this, today it seems pointless anyway.

Everything is pointless unless you muster up enough effort to convince yourself it's not. Some days I have enough energy and some days I don't. It's variable.

I could always study more pointless topology I guess.

It seems like I actually always have the energy to actualize better relationships but I live under everyone's constant presumption, myself included, that I'll always f**k something up.

Having energy to spare & no one to do anything for or with is exhausting in it's own right.

All I can really offer in exchange for all the help & advice is tech support should you happen to require any.

It's good to sit in one's basement thinking hacker thoughts instead of ruminating about things nobody can control.

Dump that notion of yourself.
Make a list of all the reasons you are awesome.
(You mentioned cooking? That's pretty awesome!)

Don't worry so much about creating favorable interactions with people, just place yourself near them.

A lot of my meetup groups are still meeting via Zoom, you might still be able to find people to hang out near by joining one of those Zoom meetups.

Just watch and listen (that's mostly what I do), sometimes someone feels inclined to interact with me because I am so quiet. Some people seem to seek out the shy ones and attempt to draw them out (most of my friends are these sorts).

Online dating seems to have moved towards Zoom meetings as well, if you want to try that route, it could take some of the pressure off

Time alone can be good in doses, but I realize that right now too many of us are getting too much alone time.

Well I work on some really advanced software & plan to eventually develop more. I can wheelie a bike pretty decently, ski big things, drive 3 pedal cars really fast & so on.

Basically if it involves lots of arbitrary math & physics, that's my jam. I live very abstractly. People don't get it & neither do I. I'm finishing my coffee watching a virtual rave at 10:15 in my basement. 3 computers on in the room but no Windows & no Mac.

See you at the imaginary rave everybody:

I guess I completely failed in saying earlier that all this is part & parcel with my burnout regarding meeting anyone new.

I don't trust easily.

Oh there's still a virtual rave happening if anyone's bored. ^

Yesterday I thought I was just permanently alone, today the only woman in the history of the universe to understand much of anything about me stopped by my house to move into a new laptop.

I am clearly far from psychic.

As confusing as my life is, I feel better today in my own right. I can't say the same for the world though.

I can't put that kind of love into words digitally & I tend to doubt no one is interested in that anyway.

I don't want to just keep rambling so I'll leave it at that for a while.

Well I had a beer earlier with one of the few living people I trust after setting up her laptop today. I was getting worried that I'd basically disappear from her life, as well as those of a few other people. I wish I had the time to tell her how much that actually meant to me. Without being close enough to at least help sometimes, I feel irrelevant to all the close friends I'm so bad at keeping up with thanks to ASD.

She has a funny way of showing up when I least expect her to. I'm grateful I found a good way to show appreciation for that. Hopefully I can help us understand each other better.

Tell her not us! And don't hesitate to do it!

I'll be sure to if there's ever a right time to speak up.

Aww, I'm glad you got a visit from your crush

That was a big relief, I sometimes isolate so much I convince myself everyone's just avoiding me at all costs. I wish she knew how much she really does for my mind.

Well the main reason for me to hesitate is that she's been dating other people for ages. I don't get the impression that I'm anyone's priority but then I'm also looking through the lens of knowing no other existence but the usual aspie isolation.

I might not even be alive without people like her around so I don't want to rush anything. Far be it from me having any normal relationships anyway. She knows me for the anxious mess I was in the first place but at least I know we care about each other.

She may be dating other guys because she doesn't know you like her.

Or not.

No way of knowing.