The only women my age I would be interested in

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So does the worst of the far left

Nope, not about the N-girl. Just in general.

I would doubt your friendship value too with her after throwing temper tantrums. She could be thinking about it and trying to make it work if she saw you're interested in her that much, but this wont last if theres no behavioral improvements. Feelings are the most important things especially to women, if you show you can take care of their feelings and even if you ever hurt them, it is by mistake, and that you have great potential to help them heal and rebuild their trust in you.

FTFY

American psychologists arent that helpful either like Romanian ones are. I guess it could partly be different social norms and different wisdom. Maybe americans know enough not to get through the trouble of setting people up not unless theyre really close buddies. But that can be complicated.

Maybe youve had good luck with the russians youve met.

Maybe they want you to learn how to fish, not to give you the fish. It's a beneficial process even though it may be depressing to people and they need breaks.

Then where did you get this general idea of me?



Actually this very much touches on what I been talking about with cyberdad. You are from Romania. So maybe Romanian girls are different than Americans? Perhaps in Romania they would make things work if the man begs hard enough? But in America the more the man begs the more the girl distances away.

By the way now that I think of it, I remember that when I was a kid back in Russia I could get what I wanted by begging for it. No I was not interested in women, so that wasn't one of those things. But the fact that I got what I wanted in other aspects is what made it so hard to understand why that doesn't happen in America.

In any case, the three things that changed were:

a) I was in Russia back then, I am in America now

b) I was a kid back then, I am an adult now

c) The issues did not involve dating back then, they do now

Its probably the combination of all three of those things. But I am wondering which of them plays bigger role. Because if its an "a", that would explain why you -- living in Romania -- would expect a woman to give me a chance.



If I know I can be rewarded for said improvements, I would improve. The problem is that, at least in America, I am not getting rewarded. Americans have their mind make up to exclude me thats why I am bitter and respond with bitterness.

I guess you might ask why am I not improving with N-girl. I guess its a cost/benefit analysis. I figured that whatever she has to offer is just a pity friendship which won't mean much on the grand scheme of things. If someone else were to come along and offer more than just that, I would improve with that other person.

Are you referring to Russians or to Americans?

In case of Russians they actually tried to give me the fish (its just that they were bad fishers themselves).

In case of Americans, they never told me they want me to learn how to fish. They told me to give up and be happy with myself (which is what made me really angry at them).

Actually I wasn't talking about psychologists. I was talking about OTHER Americans I would complain to.

As far as psychologists, in America they have a policy that psychologist shouldn't associate with their patients outside the counselling sessions. So I would not complain about psychologists since its not their fault they have to follow their policies.

I know it is a different topic, but I am just curious: are you saying that in Romania they don't have that policy and Romanian psychologists CAN associate with their patients outside the sessions?

Yeah, they give gifts when theyre in the area and small jobs to be paid and they also session you for free, they contact you in another place if you need it.

American s**ts dont even email a website theyre on for you or care to get informed about it. Theyre paid over 10 times as much and theyre kinda dumb. All they care about is money. They don't know the site theyre helping people on is a complete mess and very dangerous, it does stuff with your money without asking like swapping your subscription.

To the OP, if you prefer younger women, maybe you should go after them more, and you never know?

I just learned something new about myself. On a dating site, I contacted 18 years old. She responded by saying that its good I am the same age as her father thats what she is looking for. Since she is 18, she is perfeclty legal. So it can't be a sting. And the only other thing I can think of is maybe there is something seriously wrong with her, which immediately rules her out from anyone I would consider dating.

But that leads to a bigger question. If I follow that logic, wouldn't I also say that there would be something wrong with a woman in, say, her early 20-s who would be interested in me? I guess what turned me off in the case of this particular girl is that she said she looks for the husband being the same age as her dad. But even if some other young woman doesn't *say* it, she would still be *thinking* it. So that would still show there would be something seriously wrong with her too.

What am I looking for then? Well, what I am REALLY looking for is for the much younger woman to actually SEE ME as if I was her age. So I don't want her to be looking for someone her dad's age (that would be a massive turn off). Rather, I want her to regard me as if I was HER age.

And I don't see it as deception either because, regardless of how anyone else sees me, I don't want to see MYSELF as someone else's dad's age. I feel as if time flew too fast and I *should* still be in my 20-s, particuarly since I accomplished so little. And I want everyone else (men and women) to see me that way too.

I guess one thing that contributes to this is the fact that I used to be much younger than my age back when I was in my 20-s. This made me think that maybe my biological clock is slower than most people. But then I run into "Inconvenient" fact that most people no longer mistake my age as of today (well they would often mistake it by 3 or 4 years but not much more than that). So should I say that my biological clock "is" slower and I just messed it up by lifestyle or something? If so, can I get this back?

On a second thought, that dating site won't let you fill an age younger than 18. So it *could be* a sting. Well, since I am not going to show interest in her, I have nothing to worry about. I will just entertain myself by talking to her about Catch a Predator and see what she says. Pure intertainment, nothing else.

Okay the way I asked her is I confronted her over the fact that her profile says "some school" so I asked whether it means she is younger than 18. I got the following two answers:

a) She said she is in her last year in high school, without stating her age

b) I then specifically asked her to state her age and she said she is 18

So why would a decoy say she is 18?

Yet I am pretty sure she *is* a decoy because she said she hopes to marry me and nobody ever falls in love that fast (let alone her other comment about looking for someone her dad's age).

So how does this whole legal thing apply to people in high school who are 18?

In any case, I won't pursue her regardless because (i) I don't want to risk it and (ii) if she is not a decoy then she has really serious problems.

Actually I know what I will do. I will actually tell her that she is a decoy and then ask her why did she say she is 18 instead of syaing she is 17. That would be fun

The law doesn't care if someone's a high school drop-out, graduate or student. Their actual age is the only relevant legal consideration.

I don't think police are trolling dating apps looking to entrap people, that seems like a waste of resources.

Here is what I just wrote to her:

To complicate things further, she said she is from Norway but is now living in Estonia. Could it be that one or both of those countries have different laws which would make it illegal?

Not as far as I know, but it's never been relevant to me so I've never looked into it.