Majority of autistuc men dont have a girlfriend?

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Yes I don't think the hookup scene is very fruitful as males outnumber females on apps so it would be a heavy investment in time. I am really glad you have found an outlet (paying for sex) just make sure you practice safe sex. Is it legal in your area? I am a proponent of young men being able to get government subsidies to access sexual services from licenced sex therapists. If the latter was legalised it would probably lower crime rates in young men and reduce unemployment for women.

Yes, good question about Elliot. My best guess is he was worried what his parents/friends would think. In my 20s I contemplated paying for it too (brothels are legal in Australia) but I grew up with christian judgemental parents and I worried about being seen and my parents finding out. Rather silly actually as I now know they probably wouldn't have cared.

I wear -shirts with NY and LA as well as caps with baseball teams I don't even know about

I’m not.

Would those services only be available for young men? Unlike women, are men incapable of masturbating?

It seems like it should be extremely low down a country’s list of priorities, especially considering the fact that many countries aren’t providing adequate education or healthcare. Even if they were, I wouldn’t be for it. It would be kind of cool if vibrators and such were covered by health insurance. JK…mostly.

No I would say women and LGBQI should also have access to such services from any gender. Sex therapy isn't prostitution. the therapist has a background in psychology and conducts mental health treatment using a mix of talk therapy and touch.

Sex isn’t a need, so I still think it would be a huge waste of resources, especially when there are so many more important things for a government to spend money on. Therapy is needed for mental health disorders, but people are usually capable of touching themselves.

I've heard of it being available for quadriplegics but not able-bodied people.

I'm not suggesting this somehow become mandatory? it's just a service that people can choose for themselves if they need it or not. Sexual frustration is when there is a feeling of dissatisfaction brought on by a mismatch between one's desired and real sexual activity. Masturbation is only a short tern fix, it doesn't really resolve this feeling of frustration, especially for younger men who are unable to access sex.

In Australia people who are intellectually handicapped can also access these services.

I wasn’t suggesting that you said it was mandatory.

In my opinion, society places too great of an emphasis on sex which leads to a lot of misconceptions and myths. In my opinion, those misconceptions and myths cause more problems than merely being horny and single for an extended period of time does. Sure, sex is often enjoyable with someone else, but it’s not a need that can only be satisfied by another person most of the time.

For men, sex is the vehicle to receive confirmations about the partner's love, to affirm their power, and a lot more. It can look primitive but it shouldn't be just dismissed. Sex with other people is a "relationship" thing.

Masturbation is something else. It's a personal pleasure. It's not so different from having a long shower, smoking a cigarette or eating chocolate.

I don't think that sex should always be linked to love. To me it could be just fun, but I can't imagine to play a game where I am the only one that has fun. So, I can't imagine to pay a professional or a therapist to have sex. It's been a while since the last time. I miss it. I miss the person, not the act.

On the surface, that sounds like an excellent idea (a thread about picking up on clues when it comes to dating/sex).

That being said, upon further review, I thought of 2 problems:

-A thread like that on a forum full of ASD posters would be the blind leading the blind.

-Even neurotypicals aren't always great at dating/sex clues. There have been times when I thought a woman might have been into me, I shared the story with a neurotypical, and the neurotypical told me "She was totally hinting that she wanted you to make a move on her."

Yet then I tell the same exact story to a different neurotypical, only to be told "You're reading too much into it. She's not into you."

I wasn’t dismissing it. When I said that it wasn’t a need, I meant that it’s not a necessity because it isn’t. We can live without sex although we may not want to. Sometimes folks claim they “have needs” in an entitled sort of way to coerce their unwilling partner into having sex, so I think it’s an important thing to talk about.

I can only speak for myself.

I don't think every woman is definitely going to reject me.

But the mere fact a woman might reject me is enough to stop me from asking her out.

A poster on WrongPlanet (I think it might have been you) said the uncertainty of having to wonder whether your crush is into you (because, for whatever reason, you refuse to make a move) is torture. Which I totally agree. That being said, the humiliation (and idiocy feeling) that comes from getting rejected is 10 thousand times worse (for me at least). I say this as a guy who's experienced both.

I've mentioned on here how I can't even really ask anyone out even if I wanted to (because I get so choked up I can barely speak and so shaky I could fall over at any second). Interestingly, however, I'm not even the slightest bit nervous about meeting up with a total stranger I met online for a first date (I've done that with no nervousness whatsoever). It's just the in-person ask out with a woman I already know that cripples me for some reason.

Most women don't think every man is going to abuse them, either. TP already explained that it's an involuntary trauma response associated with flashbacks. That could be from abuse women experienced themselves, or stories they've heard about other women being assaulted. It's impossible to tell who's who with abusers anyway. I don't think most women set out with a conscious decision to be fearful or avoidant of men walking innocently down the street, but that reflex can happen regardless.

I wouldn't like it if men had involuntary reflexes to avoid / fear me, just because of "some other woman" in their past or their friends' past. In that respect I get what you're all saying here. It hurts to think people fear us for whatever reason. It hurts to think we might cause people anxiety or flashbacks or just plain-old insecurity.

It's important for people to have empathy both ways and that's why I think this conversation has, for the most part, been quite constructive. It's a shame the OP hasn't contributed his own thoughts, though.

Our bodies are designed like lightning rods for sexual contact. It's not just the "act" but also the electric feeling of being physical whether it be holding hands, stroking each other or rubbing each other. People can enjoy each others bodies for hours or even days without orgasm. So it's not just societal, our bodies push us biologically to be vessels for DNA exchange.

that's called having a difference in opinion. In the end advice is irrelevant, you have to go with your gut and take a risk. No risk no reward. it takes practice, like overcoming a phobia.