Don't trust ANYTHING women say.

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Ooh, chocolate, my favorite. Thanks Zero!

Those are also generalizations, only they are farther removed from the arguement than the ones I made.
I mean, of course they are generalizations. You need to find patterns to survive. My opinions come from my own experiences, from the experiences of other women I'm close to, and from non fiction I've read.
I wouldn't take examples from a TV show created by sensationalists (and besides, most real-life cougars act on their biological clock which is winding down in their quest for a child... duh.)
Also, I wouldn't take examples from women who are so unstable as the ones dinko mentions.


The one question I've always had trouble answering is why women do have sex with guys they're not really into. I've done this myself many times. One of my roommates in college had at least ten partners in one semester, and she actually admitted "I don't like it", yet we still felt obligated. Then once, one of my other roommates--who was clearly a virgin--was talking to us about f*ck-friends. She was all like "You know those friends you have, just to f***?..." As soon as she left, my roommate turned to me and said "What the f*** is she talking about, I don't have friends like that, do you?" I said "No", and we both burst out laughing.

Unfortunately I'm on the gf/cf diet so could have your standard fare :/

1) Humans have emotions.
2) Emotions are not terribly intelligent.
3) All words and actions are evaluated on an emotional basis.
4) Silence and inaction count under point 3.
5) The basis for emotional evaluation can change from moment to moment.
6) The volatility of point 5 depends on the length of history between parties.
7) Some elements of point 5 are not accessible to the conscious mind.
Most people enjoy sex under some conditions.
9) Not enjoying sex may indicate a difficulty with the partner, the technique, or a medical condition.
10) Everyone is at least partly wrong in their beliefs.
11) In Western society, there is currently some kind of defect in gender roles such that a great many people are unhappy.
12) Aspies are not alone in having difficulties right now.

Yes, they're generalizations, and pieces of patterns. They're also the basic structural elements of a model I've built in my mind. I'm trying to express the whole model by stripping it down to its basic structure. It might be worthwhile to flesh out all those elements, but that's a major undertaking and I'm too lazy right now.



Thanks. That gives me what I need to flesh out more:

13) The Intellect is not the master of the Self.
14) Sex is compulsory under points 1, 2 and 13.
By this I do not mean the formulation (perhaps incorrectly) atttributed to McKinnon, "Sex is always rape". That's misandry, and blaming others for ones actions. I mean that the compelling comes from within.


Enough for now. There's more to come when someone says the triggers.
(edited to reattach first 12 points)

Look zee, YOU yourself acknowledged that you have had sex with men you dont really "love" and you arent even sure why!
Just because You happen not to like sex DOESN'T mean that most women feel the same way that you do!! I have actually Met MORE THAN ONE woman who's said directly to me that they DO want sex-even if they dont always enjoy it they still Want it. So what irked me was you projecting YOUR OWN personal feelings about sex onto other women. But the statement you made that if women were just as sex-starved as men they'd be less inclined to get married is totally illogical.
Infidelity in marriage is frowned upon for both men and women, and yet it STILL happens more than You would be inclined to think! There Are plenty of women who DO cheat on their husbands-sometimes it very may be out of sexual frustration.
A woman who once dated ans aspie man told me that he really didnt have much of sex drive-didnt like being physical in general and so she felt a lot of (sexual)frustration and even considered cheating on him for it.

And why not? My intellect got me much farther in life than any emotion ever did... my emotions only seem to hold me back...

Your assessment of the impact of intellect and emotions is very similar to my own. Unfortunately...

A man I greatly respect once said, "The Truth is a stupid thing." See point 2 above.

Emotions sit across all our filters, evaluations, prejudices and values. Emotions hold the key to determining whether something is good or bad, liked or disliked. Emotions can give us pleasure or pain.

"They guard all the doors, and hold all the keys."

Well what he said certainly is a very stupid thing

I gave up chocolate for lent last year... I actually did remarkably well that I kept on it, eating about the same amount of chocolate in a year that some people eat in a week...

Who gives a f**k about chocolate! Quite frankly..............

Ok, Gotcha.

I doubt all women are bad and unfortunately, I can't tell you how to distinguish between the good and the bad. Stay positive and you'll be more likely to attract a partner in future: - no-one finds a melancholy outlook on life attractive.

Of course not all women are bad.

The reason you're too lazy is because you've made it too complicated for youself. Why build this theoretical model in your mind? You're only struggling with parametres, running tangents against tangents. I think it may be more productive to talk about things by the small details, not the big picutre... because that picture is so big that you can't see the frame (ha ha, 2 can play the analogy game!)
Anyway, to address your little points:

1) Humans have emotions.
2) Emotions are not terribly intelligent.
3) All words and actions are evaluated on an emotional basis.
4) Silence and inaction count under point 3.

If you take "intelligence" out of the equation, you basically are saying that humans are ruled by emotion. This has been theorized by many psychologists, including Freud with his "id" and Jung with his "basement". Basically, the very core of our being is a primal one, shaped by our experiences starting at birth, and then growing outwards. This is the very seed that we have grown from, and all subsequent growth is outward. We cannot change what we originate from, but instead only add to it.
So why bother to try and understand our emotions? It is like what's his name said, "If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it". The only thing that seems like a more pointless waste than trying to understand our feelings is to try and contol them. It's just not possible. You can't convince yourself that you're happy when you're not. Often we don't know why we are angry, why we are sad... but we do know that we are.
But getting to point 3, that's too much of a simplification for my taste. Of course we agree that everything in our psyches is connected to this emotional core--because all things are connected--but different words have different meanings. Same with actions. Inaction and silence are also types of communication, that will be interpreted just the same as actions and words, in the same way that both light and shade shape our vision of things.


5) The basis for emotional evaluation can change from moment to moment.
6) The volatility of point 5 depends on the length of history between parties.
7) Some elements of point 5 are not accessible to the conscious mind.

NO to point 5, emotions do not undergo an evaluation, that's the logical part of the brain, as in the attic or the superego, which is trying to evaluate them. Sometimes our higher powers of deduction fool us momentarily into thinking that we are happy, but soon our true feelings will surface. Why the delayed response? I'm going to assume because feelings are slower in the making than thoughts... thoughts are things you can just 'grab at' in a fraction of a second, but reacting to something takes more time.


8) Most people enjoy sex under some conditions.
9) Not enjoying sex may indicate a difficulty with the partner, the technique, or a medical condition.
The first statement is a vague, groundless one, which obviously I don't agree with.
I've had many partners, and tried many different techniques. I've read through the Kama Sutra and tried different positions, I've done role playing, I've had sex in some pretty far-out places, which was a memorable experience--but the intercourse itself is still not enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate sex. I just find it vastly overrated. I've never admitted as much to any guy I've slept with, of course, as that would probably make him feel like I was catering to him. An orgasm is a great feeling when it happens, but it only lasts a few seconds, and I don't think about it when I'm not in the moment.
Some medical conditions list "DECREASED sex drive" as a symptom, ex. depression, thyroid disease, etc. This means the person's sex drive is lower than usual. That's totally different from having a low libido. I've had no sex drive for over a decade, and I don't see how that can be attributed to a medical condition, if such a condition even exists. Moreover, I'm a healthy, energetic person in every other regard.


10) Everyone is at least partly wrong in their beliefs.
11) In Western society, there is currently some kind of defect in gender roles such that a great many people are unhappy.
12) Aspies are not alone in having difficulties right now.
Way to sit on the fence on 10 and 12. Hmm, I think the sky is blue... sometimes... but I could be wrong.
Of course people are unhappy. Is it because of gender roles? Do all people in Western society practice these same roles? Do you really want to debate this?
Oh, and have you read "The Left Hand of Darkness" by LeGuin?




Duh on 13. No, of course sex is not rape if you agree to it, but in my case, I don't think I participated in sex acts because of emotions. I think it was more of an obligation, and that includes the obligation to give pleasure to people other than yourself.

Do me a favour and write less than I did!