Why is chivalry good for anyone?

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No, it doesn't dictate that only men do this for women. What it says is that when a man and a woman get to the door at the same time, and neither has their hands full, the man opens the door for the woman. That's all. I don't think you have any idea of what exactly I'm talking about here, and if you are thinking of it like I think you are thinking of it, then yes that would be ridiculous. You don't stand there and wait on a guy who is a few steps behind you either. But the guy opens the door. That's all. If he's standing right there. It's just manners.

I suppose it all started centuries ago when doors were really big and heavy or something. I do not know where it came from, I just know that nowdays it's part of the same thing as not putting elbows on the table or eating with the correct fork. It doesn't make a huge difference, it's just part of etiquette. Why do we keep our napkins in our laps at supper instead of tucking them into our shirts? I don't know. Does it make a huge difference in the big scheme of things, no. It's not that important, it's just part of being polite. Do you have to do it? No. Will people look down on you if you don't, no. It's more rude to burp of fart in public than it is to not open a door for a lady if you are her get there at the same time. It's more rude to chew with your mouth open than it is to not stand up when a lady walks in the room. It's all really IS just part of etiquette and manners. You don't stand up every single time a lady comes in the room and you don't do it in every situation. If you are sitting in your den watching tv and a lady comes in, you don't stand up. But ify ou are in the livingroom having a conversation with somebody else and a lady you don't know that well comes in, then you stand up. You don't do it when your mother or sister walks through, but you do it when a lady comes through and stops to chat with you for a second. It's difficult to explain, all the whens and hows and whys of this stuff, it's just something that you absorb over time by osmosis pretty much after being told to do it once or twice as a kid.

Does it have any real purpose? No. But then again, lots of things don't have any real purpose and people hang on to them. These things are more important to older people though, not older like me but older like my mother. Society is much more casual today and that's why these things aren't that big of a deal. But when my mother and grandmother were young, these things were very important to people. My grandkids may very well not ever have heard of doing these things the same way that a girl my age would think it's ridiculous to wear nice clothes and put on a hat and gloves to go to the grocery store, but that's what used to be done.

Frances, I'm just guessing on this one, but I think the point of chivalry toward ladies is to teach respect for women to young men--to teach them that they are more than pieces of meat--or objects, as the feminists would claim. I think we will all be the lesser when these kinds of customs vanish.

I never asked you to open a damn thing for me. I never said that it must be done or I'll be upset. Opening a car door isn't done all that much anymore, and rarely by the next generation, but it used to be done on a regular basis. When a guy took a girl somewhere as they were walking to the car he would walk around to her side and open her door and shut it then come around to his side. When they got there she would get her purse and he would get out and walk around and open her door for her again. There is no reason for it, it was just what was done, that's all. It's not done unless you are taking her somewhere, it's not like you go up to a stranger and do that. It's really only done by my generation now if it's a date type thing or they are going out somewhere together. If my husband were taking me out to dinner then he would do that but if we are going to the grocery store he wouldn't. It's just a part of etiquette, that's all and it's not a big deal.

As for telling me to grow the f**k up, I'm not the one on here whining about how it shouldn't be done or making a big deal out of it. I'm saying that it's just mannerly and polite and it's a nice thing to do. While I prefer that people show manners like this, in situations where they are appropriate, it doesn't make that much of a difference to me. It really just shows that the guy is polite and it shows class. You are free to disregard making that type of impression all you want to. And these things may not be done where you are from anyway. Each country and even region has it's own customs and manners. While they may not be part of the customs where you live you don't see me complaining about the fact that they aren't. Yes, I'm defending the practice but not wanting it mandated or anything. I'm not the one making such a big deal over nothing, so I suppose that means I already have grown the f**k up.

I'd ask if I could come too, but the devil still has that restraining order against me and I'm not allowed within 100 yards of hell now. The stupid douche won't even give me back my albums that I left there!

To clarify the point of my quote about Texas smelling like vodka and BBQ, it was a joke to Boo.

I know TX actually smells much worse than that.

I think that the bottom line for abortion is that the baby is in the mothers body. I don't see the purpose of abortion to be "Kill the baby, now!" but I see it as "I want it out of my body, now!". Since the baby cannot survive outside the mother's body, it dies. It would die even if very carefully removed. I don't think the reason for the pregnancy has anything to do with her being able to decide to have an abortion. If she was raped and is pregnant from that then the pregnancy is still going to be the same as if her birth control pills failed or if in the heat of the moment nobody had a condom and decided to chance it. She has the right to have it removed from her body until it is big enough to survive outside the womb. I would think that many women who have abortions would be perfectly ok with a procedure that removes the very young fetus and places it in a type of (yet to be invented) incubator where it can grow and develop and then be adopted by someone. The result would be the same for her, the baby is out of her body, which was her goal. She was there first, and first come, first serve unless she consents for things to be different. This fact is why in situations where a pregnant woman may have a serious medical problem and the only way to help her would harm the baby, she has the choice about whose interests are put first. If I were pregnant and then dx'd with cancer and the treatment would kill the baby, I'd be given the choice of whether or not I want to be treated and allow the baby to die or I wanted to continue the pregnancy and insure a healthy baby but probably die shortly after delivery. First come, first serve. We can't change that fact to say that her choice about her body is only valid in certain situations. If she has the choice to choose herself over her unborn baby, then she has that choice across the board.

Now, for the really important question. Should a man be legally required to hold the door open for a woman going into an abortion clinic even if he is on the run from the cops for shooting a Craigslist hooker over $150? And should his legal responsibility for door opening be based at all on whether or not he supports Autism Speaks or uses Internet Explorer as his browser?

I've been to Tx once, to Granbury (NOT Grand Prarie). My dad worked as an engineer on that nuclear plant there. This was back in 1984 I believe. I didn't know any place could be that absolutely flat! I didn't see a hill the entire time I was there, although it was just for a weekend. I flew into Dallas but we stayed in Granbury the whole time. That was the one time I met my dad. He bought me boots and a hat like that would make up for 20 years of not having him around. I didn't want him to buy me anything, just be a dad instead. At the time I was dating my husband and being from Alabama I had no idea that pro ball was so important to some people. He talked me into wearing his Redskins tshirt on the plane ride up there. Goodness, I did not expect the looks I got! lol

Granbury is a couple of hours north of where I'm at. Though I don't go there often, it is part of Dallas now.

I actually live in the Texas Hill Country. It's completely different than Granbury, though it's not as hilly as other parts of the country. The nice thing is that it is high in elevation and relatively dry.

I'm not a football fan at all, and it separates me from the locals. Here it is almost a religion.

I also think that a lot of people have the wrong idea about what exactly it is that we are talking about when we mention these customs. They aren't things that are done all the time or in every situation. Many of them are done only in fancier situations, like pulling out a chair for a lady. If I go out to dinner at a nice place with a guy then he would pull my chair out as we got to the table. He would only do it once, and not every time I got up to go to the bathroom or something. But if we go to the bbq place for lunch, that's not gonna happen. Nor will it happen here at home unless it's a big dinner and we have company or something. Same with standing up when a lady walks in the room. It just depends. Also, anybody stands up in those situations if the person walking in the room is much older, no matter what sex. I think that a lot of people who aren't familiar with these customs may be thinking that we are going around doing some pretty crazy stuff, when we actually aren't. Most of these things aren't even noticeable. Most of these are also things that you will notice if you look for them when you watch old movies. They were done all the time in them.

Frances, I agree. When my ex and I were together, I would do the chivalry thing when out in public, but certainly not here at my house.

Another part of chivalry is kissing a woman's hand. In my experience, that always brings a big smile to a woman's face.

I don't expect someone to open a door for me,but when they do I respond graciously,with a Thank You,as I'm sure that OOM does.I also open doors for people,if I'm there first I hold it open for males or females,it's polite.
Boo,you don't know our customs,and I don't know yours.But if a man opens a car door for me,I just think that's sweet,he doesn't have to,it's just considered polite.

Yep, the only time that is mandatory is like for prom. On the way to prom, the guy had better open the girls car door for her! It's not even mandatory (in my book anyway) at weddings. When DH and I got married, and we left the reception we left in his car and there I was with one hand full of my train and the rest of that big ole skirt and the other one had a newspaper over my head cause it had started raining and that wasn't forecast so nobody was prepared. He had on a rented suit that we couldn't let get ruined so we both took off running for his car and got there and got in as fast as possible to keep from ruining our clothes.

Then we went back to our apartment, his brother and brother in law followed us, we changed into shorts and tshirts, they turned on the tv, my BIL brought in the new blender we had just gotten and I had just opened at the reception and DH made some frozen drinks with it and I sat on the floor crossed legged with my bag of gift tags and a notebook and made a list of who gave us what so I could start on the thank you notes while they got drunk watching I think it was wresteling on TV. That was my wedding night. However we had lived together for about a year first already so there was nothing new gonna happen. I was just tired and thrilled and relieved that the wedding had gone off so good. Then DH and his brother went and got a bunch of take out chicken.

Ahhhh, romance

Great point. Chivalry was created for a much more dangerous world than ours, when women needed a lot more protection. Now in many cases it's a gentleman's way of showing affection for a woman. Women have other ways they can express affection.

Then we are on different pages. Since I am not a woman, I would not know. The one thing I do know is that them being the same was my point, in fact a woman who gets an abortion for a failed pill or a broken condom is more faulty than a woman who got raped. If you know sex gets you women pregnant, don't have it. Same goes for guys. You have sex, and then you abort the baby like it wasn't supposed to happen if you had sex. There are plenty of oral positions and sexual interactions involving the extremities that can satisfy this craving we all have. And also, until your group of women stop complaining about having babies and abortions, don't complain about men leaving you alone to have sex with some else, this is kind of unfair to men who are just as sexually active as you, and hypocritical. This being said, don't have wang and va-jay-jay activities until it is time to make babies, and carry a .38 special, the second amendment protects ladies from rape too, not just men.

I can't really imagine taking abortion lightly. But I guess that could happen. It would seem cold to think "oh, I will have sex now and then I can just get an abortion later." I think it's a pretty big deal.

Regarding the bolded portion, even if the woman just stole the $150 for the abortion, he should still hold the door.

Regarding the second bolded portion, I'm not sure where the complaining about men leaving came in, but I agree with you about taking sexual responsibility.