How to use OKCupid (from an actual success story.)

Post Reply New Topic

That's nice, dear.

I still maintain my point that if you are not interested in conversing with someone (or not able show interest in conversing) because they are talking about something that isn't your special interest, or is something you already knew, etc etc, then you should think about whether it would be appropriate to form a relationship with that person.

That's nice, dear.

If we think like that it will narrow our options down too much, which basically means we will give up before we even tried. I would like to think that learning more social "tricks" would help out. It will be mentally tiring having to keep it up, but it is essential to communicate and find out if people are compatible. If I could be a Geek, I would.

Example of socially inept person.

Josie : *Winks flirtingly*
Ben : Oh do you have something in your eye? Want me to go get you some eye drops?
Josie : You are so socially inept *walks off*

I would like to think the Geek would have figured out earlier what is going on.

That's nice, dear.

I still maintain my point that if you are not interested in conversing with someone (or not able show interest in conversing) because they are talking about something that isn't your special interest, or is something you already knew, etc etc, then you should think about whether it would be appropriate to form a relationship with that person.

Oh boy...

Mcalevara, tell him.

Ok, I am going to give a generalized overview of women in the Middle East - that only apply on the fairly moderate (yet still way more religious/conservative compared to European societies yet less radical than KSA) ME countries excluding the Gulf countries like Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Palestinians, Egypt, Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia... I can't tell much of the non-Arab ME countries.

Each of those societies, are divided in two...worlds, in the same fashion of Egypt's Brotherhood vs anti-Brotherhood, Islamists vs moderates (and each of those mega group has sub groups...but let's keep things simple), only Egypt's division is apparent in the media but this societal conflict/division exist throughout the whole Arab world and the gap is growing deeper, Lebanon, Syria and Iraq are even more complicated due to the variety of denominations/sects/ethnicity.

Ok anyway...about the ladies, you have those major groups (From most radical to most liberal), those are all generalizations but they so exist:

Extremely conservatives: Or call them hostages, women living in those families till marriage, often have from some to zero outdoor freedom, radically veiled if Muslims, very under control and marriage only happen arranged through the father and she often has no word in it- more common in extremely remote areas, very rare elsewhere. Try to screw with one and her male siblings would literally cut your dick and feed it to the dogs.


Conservative women: Externally, they might appear and behave liberal (a lot of them are even non-veiled and wear normal clothes) but they are not, they appear very moderate but they are not. They appear open-minded but they are usually not. They are often religious.
This is the most common type of women among the Arab communities and are more common among the Muslim city/town-dwellers in particular.

They have lives, they work, they go to gym, they swim, they hang out, they have social lives....but on the same time they abide to some rules, like for example no hanging out after 9 or 10 pm - no hanging out to certain places, their parents are often helicopters. Those women are often proud in the way they are, and consider themselves "good girls" compared to the "corrupted" more westernized girls.

Relationship-wise, they are very marriage-oriented, very gender-roles-oriented, they refuse the term "Sahbeh" / girlfriend and they prefer to be referred as habiba (beloved) by the guy they love in case he's not their fiancee/husband yet - please don't ask me why! I still don't know - I think they associate the girlfriend term to premarital sex and they are against that.

If you ask out one and if she likes you, she might ask you to meet her parents *facepalm*. A guy of their ilk might even go straight to meet the parents, even asking her in prior and gets the final answer (yes/no) from here there. *facepalm*

Like a female acquaintance (who's of that category) told me the other day: "A suitor visited us the other day asking for my hand but I've told him no".
Me totally puzzled and wondering how well he even knew her before putting himself in such stupid awkward situation before her parents, the fact she declined means he doesn't even know in prior her thoughts about him!! wtf? but this is pretty common.

Their engagement period is often lengthy, can last like 4 to 5 years and in a lot of cases end up in failure, it is simply the socially and religiously acceptable substitute of the bf/gf model.

Their marriage can happen arranged but unlike the above group, normally they have the final word to it.

PS: Inter-religious marriages are rare, but they would overlook your religion because you're American. lol

Normally moderate women: often non practicing of religion or non-religious, more common among christian communities and certain city-dweller Muslim communities, but less common than the above group, relationship-wise, they date, they go gf/bf...

There are more...but I got bored and you wouldn't care about the rest...

Oh, it's the "it's all in your head" stupid argument.

Hmmm.

Reading your posts, and your endless (and rather futile) classificions (which you abort because you realise you could go on forever), I could suggest that it is your classification that is the 'all in your head' stupid argument and very few people fall neatly into boxes. And most people reading this have spent their whole lives being classified as something or another - yet here you are happy to do so.

Your "that's how the world works" so I'll join in argument (plainly absurd), is like saying 'okay mein fuhrer, where shall we put the Zyklon B?' It's joining in this simplistic division conspiracy - that discrimintates against people on the spectrum, and people who do not fit a 'mainstream' model that actually fits so few anyway.

The prevailing powers and ruling elites have always enjoyed the 'divide and conquer' approach. Hell, let's set woman against man, man against child, geek against nerd, middle class against underclass...so we forget we're all people.

The end result of classification - you vs. everybody else. Why even start to go down that road?

No, it isn't. That's your perception, perhaps - to magnify 'differences' between people. And to go along with them. When the differences aren't that huge.

Surely the point is to build bridges, not endlessly create gaps. I thought that was the point of WP. Yes, people learn about themselves so gaps that we all have to face every day can be bridged. And, if that can be done with AS and NT, surely that can be done in any community - regardless of religious strife, and so on.

What can I say? I am just a good observant of the world.

For example, here on WP there are people who view AS as a cult - "next evolution step", "we are special", "we are smarter than NTs" ... I am not inventing any of this, nor conspiring against anyone, just check the General autism part and see how common these attitudes there are.

Also Jesus, Muhammad and the Buddah were all Autistic.........