Are relationships always this complicated?

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Make sure you won't say "That 's too much fat" while you're belly-rubbing her.

Yeah, if there's one thing that being with her has taught me that never occurred to me before, it's being gentle. She's already told me to be gentle a few times before.

My suggestion wasn't about making grand gestures Retrogamer, its about demonstrating compassion for a fellow human being when they need it. The fuss of ordering a special oil will not balance out the previous horrid things you have said, but doing the difficult social-emotional things like treating her as an equal might.

Ugh.

You just don't get it. She is a needy, clingy most likely BPD girl and you have a saviour complex. She wants kids and you are being downright cruel to her. I can't believe you would suggest a hysterectomy! What is wrong with you?? This is about as toxic a relationship as you can get and while (like me) you think you are getting experience, you are just learning bad habits that will scare away decent women... I should know.

I'm dating someone who hasn't been with a man for almost 15 years. She is by far the most enjoyable person I have been with because she doesn't have a warped idea of what relationships are all about.


Because you are dating someone with the reasoning skills of a 3 year old. She (likely) isn't capable of it and never will be, not without years of therapy and that's IF she ever admits she has a problem. I'm going to keep repeating it until you get it: RUN!

Are relationships always this complicated?

YES

And for the record, I love fat girls.

cause of the blood? or more the pain?

I'd just feel like doing more though. I'm a comforting person. don't know if i could just give chocolate and bail.



yeah the studies said it was person to person. just like some women get super horny while on their periods and others have the opposite reaction. probably bunch in between like much of life.



there's ways around it, towels on bed, sex in shower/tub etc. Its more of doing it to help the woman. some guys will still give oral during it. I couldn't give oral. >.< I'd be interested in knowing if for those women if toys help in place of intercourse. reality is bunch of women it would help won't do it anyways be it for fear of how the guy would react or to their own finding it too disgusting.

you're so F***ing lucky to get to cuddle :'(

When you are ready for a serious, permanent relationship, this giant difference between the two of you (wanting v. not wanting children) would have to be discussed early in the relationship, and at a neutral time. But while dating in a non-permanent relationship, just know that your girlfriend is likely to have very different feelings than you on such matters and, thus, avoid putting your foot in your mouth by making possibly contentious suggestions.

Let's NOT turn this isn't a "sex during the menstrual cycle" discussion. Sly, just know this: making that suggestion to a woman in pain would probably be as unwelcome as the hysterectomy one. It comes off entirely selfish. So, yeah, DON'T. EVER. If SHE thinks it is a good idea, SHE will suggest it.

And RetroGamer, don't start re-thinking letting her live with you; that should not happen. I can understand you two staying together for now because of the positive sides in the relationship but, clearly, this is NOT a permanent one - there are HUGE problems and permanent philosophical differences between the two of you - so living together is off the table. Living together is for people who see a possible future together (even if they don't want to commit to admitting it), and allowing her to live with you would send all the wrong signals.

On the belly rub - Amity is right that you shouldn't start over-doing this, at least not before a first shot at it. A belly rub can be done just fine without any oil at all, or just with a little olive oil.

depends on the woman. though likely to be discussed pre period. I won't have sex so to me its irrelevant.
sounds like talking to a woman in pain is unwelcome. just stay silent and give her chololate, or perhaps just avoid her for 2weeks every month.

guess thats a point for not living together with a gf/wife.

Which bad habits?

Whaaat? I've never had a relationship anywhere NEAR as complicated as this. Mine have generally been quite straight-forward and easy!

For Starters:
* That relationships are this frustrating and complicated
* That women are crazy and unstable
* That it takes a 15 page thread on WP to talk about it
* That women are objects you can tailor to your needs (like telling her the many cruel things you have said)

This toxic relationship will cause you to drop a large anchor that will weigh you down more than any lack of experience can. Experience MAY be the best teacher but only a fool would consider no other options first. I don't need to drink poison to know it will make me very sick.

Me and my neighbor were looking over the $1,350 laptop I was jonesing to buy (we were looking at the webstore). We talked about it at length. GF looked a bit bored. I apologized for geeking out and she said, "that's OK, I know you're like that". She seemed a bit bothered by the price. I jokingly said "You want me to spend that money on you, right?" She kept on saying no. Any time I offered to buy her something she refused. Then she said it's not romantic if I have to ask, I should just know what she wants and buy it. I told her I bought her that Animal Crossing game without being prompted and she said "No, you have to buy the right thing without being asked".

She started talking about how her friends boyfriends would buy them expensive jelwery. I said she really would have to tell me what she wants instead of wanting me to guess. She said she wanted Gucci handbag that cost $1,600. I was taken aback by this because I wouldn't be able to buy the laptop. She said she didn't like it when her friends asked her what her boyfriend bought for her and she had to say "Nothing". She said it embarrassed her. I asked her what was wrong with her Prada handbag. She said "You should be like proper boyfriend and buy me things. My exes bought me things". I said if she wanted something like that she could only have it once per year. She said it should be once every three months.

That would be annoying for me. Even though I get about a thousand per week, most of that goes on house and car. My disposable income is not that great. I was kind of miffed about her wanting a Gucci handbag and then she said she'd been joking and she didn't really want a Gucci handbag. She said she didn't want anything. She said there was nothing wrong. I remarked that every time she says there's nothing wrong there's always something wrong.

Do you have a query about the laptop Vs handbag situation?

Sort of. I'm just thinking if I should buy the Gucci handbag for her. I mean, I did spend a lot of time boasting about how rich I was but that was only because I was boasting about the overpriced things I wanted to buy for myself. I didn't know it would mean I'd have to buy stuff for her as well.

Guess I could buy her the handbag... but I really could use that laptop but they might bring out a better one soon