Online dating is pointless as a guy
hale_bopp wrote:
Robert312 wrote:
I'd be having an online conversation with someone and they would just stop replying without explanation.
Normal for dating sites. Both genders.
Quote:
Some said they'd met someone else when they didn't even know me well enough to not choose me.
Again, normal for dating sites. You talk to multiple people at the same time. She didn’t “not choose you”, she just clicked with someone before your conversation with her went anywhere.
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I'd go meet a girl now and then and I usually felt that they were nice and I could hang out with them but then they would never respond again.
Again, this is extremely normal in dating. They don’t dislike you, they just can’t be bothered. It’s not you. It’s normal.
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One girl acted insulted when I told her I thought we could be friends.
She was probably furious at being rejected and didn’t think you had the right to reject her. High horse mentality. Forget her.
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If you're not into "normal" things like sports and social butterfying then you are out.
This is interesting. I talk to other women. I know what they think is lame. What you mentioned we like, every girl I talked to on tinder thinks generic male interests are boring and standard.
It seems a lot of guys think that’s what we want to hear, that’s why so many tinder profiles have it. Your interest is very niche. Half the women probably don’t even know what it is.
Quote:
Girls on Craiglist or backpage even in the normal dating section, (not the looking for sex section) are all call girls who don't even read your profile though they'll say they loved it, and offer sex and I'm sure they expect me to pay for it. They are willing to travel hundreds of miles from a far away state. They'll say, "Distance means nothing when it comes to love." Right, if the guy bis loaded with money and is willing to buy you.
I don’t know why you expect Craigslist people not to be a bunch of bottom feeding dead beats.
"They don’t dislike you, they just can’t be bothered." If they also felt they could like me well enough, why would that be a bother? I get the impression that they expect to fall passionately in love with me and if that doesn't happen they reject me.
"She was probably furious at being rejected and didn’t think you had the right to reject her. High horse mentality. Forget her." People start out as friends. It wasn't worth her time if we didn't instantly fall in love and get married the next week. High horse is right if it is not worth her time to make a new friend.
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BaneBear wrote:
Online dating is absolutely pointless as a guy for a few reasons
Women are allllllllllllllllllll physical online. If you aren't taylor lautner on a dating app/site good luck to you friend. Girls literally only go after guys with; giant abs, six figure pay checks, and a face made from the skin cells of tom brady, taylor lautner, and jesus himself.
As a result lots of us guys(who don't message 10/10 models by the way, nor girls who are rich as hell) get no luck or replies when we message anyone. What is worse is I am a bit of a nerd, but I have a good job(just got promoted) and I don't look like Quasimodo. What is even more frustrating is all these guides that try to say your message has anything to do with whether a girl responds or not. I say again if you aren't channing tatum good luck buddy.
Nerdy girls are almost devoid on these sites too
Women are allllllllllllllllllll physical online. If you aren't taylor lautner on a dating app/site good luck to you friend. Girls literally only go after guys with; giant abs, six figure pay checks, and a face made from the skin cells of tom brady, taylor lautner, and jesus himself.
As a result lots of us guys(who don't message 10/10 models by the way, nor girls who are rich as hell) get no luck or replies when we message anyone. What is worse is I am a bit of a nerd, but I have a good job(just got promoted) and I don't look like Quasimodo. What is even more frustrating is all these guides that try to say your message has anything to do with whether a girl responds or not. I say again if you aren't channing tatum good luck buddy.
Nerdy girls are almost devoid on these sites too
I wouldn't agree with you, this what you are saying is true if you are chasing 9/10 or 10/10 girls, but if you try with some average looking you'll see it is not very hard to arrange date or even one night stand...
hale_bopp wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I’m busy from 8am to 12am.
Doing what? If that’s true you have a more full and interesting life than most thrill seekers and celebrities. You’re busy for 16 hours every day?
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So guess if I start drinking energy drinks again and taking cafine pills I could skip sleep but then there’s no buses past 12 am and nothings happing. The only day I have off is Sunday and the bus times are few and again. Othings happening, all the groups and clubs take place weekday nights when I’m working.
Guessing you drive? Taking the bus here ads 2 hours to and two hours back to any trip. So that 5 hour shift is a 9 hour shift. Going to the gym is 2-3 hours cause it’s little closer. Leaves me enough time to shower, eat and get changed for work. Yay so maybe if I wasn’t going to the gym and didn’t work nights I would be able to but meh why would I go hang out with a bunch of lonely aspie men. Or geeky men. I don’t share common female interests. I don’t like dancing, shopping, sewing, knitting, or crafting.
Guessing you drive? Taking the bus here ads 2 hours to and two hours back to any trip. So that 5 hour shift is a 9 hour shift. Going to the gym is 2-3 hours cause it’s little closer. Leaves me enough time to shower, eat and get changed for work. Yay so maybe if I wasn’t going to the gym and didn’t work nights I would be able to but meh why would I go hang out with a bunch of lonely aspie men. Or geeky men. I don’t share common female interests. I don’t like dancing, shopping, sewing, knitting, or crafting.
If you work 20 hours a week, you have most of the day off on most days.
Maybe save for a car then? If you can afford to pay hundreds of dollars for a premium dating membership, you can save for a car.
Those female common interests Are very stereotypical. It’s not 1950.
I wake up at 8 to go to gym I get there at 9:30 finish by 10:50. Catch bus at 11:28 home by 11:40. Feed old cat, water dogs and cats, shower, shave usually done by 12:40-1. Then I make food and get ready for work. I have to leave by 2:40. I get home around 10:40 pm I make food and eat and need to be sleep by 12 am so I can get up at 8.
I work 4-5 5 hour shifts so 4-5 days a week.i get Sunday’s off cause bus can’t get me to work. Then I get a alternating day off. Some weeks I’m lucky and it’ll land on Monday two days off in a row yay. But usually it’s either Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday’s. Once in a blue moon I’ll get Saturday off. Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday are practice Nights I get excused from since working but if I’m off I have to attend. So that’s 5:30-8:00.
Sunday is laundry day every two weeks which takes 6 hours. And my family expects me to help around the house when I’m not at gym or working.
Also I’ll have to leave by 2pm for work starting next week as I’ll be working 4-9 now instead of 4:30-9:30 but I’ll still be staying to the same time. It’s just fancy foot work on paper.
If it was 120 a month I could see that, but it’s 120 for 6 months. $20 a month will get me a car in 8 years for a 2,000 dollar car.
exy34 wrote:
BaneBear wrote:
Online dating is absolutely pointless as a guy for a few reasons
Women are allllllllllllllllllll physical online. If you aren't taylor lautner on a dating app/site good luck to you friend. Girls literally only go after guys with; giant abs, six figure pay checks, and a face made from the skin cells of tom brady, taylor lautner, and jesus himself.
As a result lots of us guys(who don't message 10/10 models by the way, nor girls who are rich as hell) get no luck or replies when we message anyone. What is worse is I am a bit of a nerd, but I have a good job(just got promoted) and I don't look like Quasimodo. What is even more frustrating is all these guides that try to say your message has anything to do with whether a girl responds or not. I say again if you aren't channing tatum good luck buddy.
Nerdy girls are almost devoid on these sites too
Women are allllllllllllllllllll physical online. If you aren't taylor lautner on a dating app/site good luck to you friend. Girls literally only go after guys with; giant abs, six figure pay checks, and a face made from the skin cells of tom brady, taylor lautner, and jesus himself.
As a result lots of us guys(who don't message 10/10 models by the way, nor girls who are rich as hell) get no luck or replies when we message anyone. What is worse is I am a bit of a nerd, but I have a good job(just got promoted) and I don't look like Quasimodo. What is even more frustrating is all these guides that try to say your message has anything to do with whether a girl responds or not. I say again if you aren't channing tatum good luck buddy.
Nerdy girls are almost devoid on these sites too
I wouldn't agree with you, this what you are saying is true if you are chasing 9/10 or 10/10 girls, but if you try with some average looking you'll see it is not very hard to arrange date or even one night stand...
Not true. Even a 1/10 probably won’t date a 4 if he’s unemployed and lacks a car.
I’ve been rejected by average or ugly as some people would say women who have no job and live off their parents for everything.
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why does it take six hours for you to do laundry?
Two loads and takes 2 hours for dryer to dry them each. So drying alone is 4 hours
You don't have to stand there and watch them dry for 6 hours though, you throw them in the machines and then you go do something else for an hour or two until you need to fold them and put them away. So that gives you time to do other things right there.
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why does it take six hours for you to do laundry?
Two loads and takes 2 hours for dryer to dry them each. So drying alone is 4 hours
You don't have to stand there and watch them dry for 6 hours though, you throw them in the machines and then you go do something else for an hour or two until you need to fold them and put them away. So that gives you time to do other things right there.
So I should throw my clothes in the dryer then leave the house for 6 hours?
Minds you I have to go in after an hour and restart it as it only goes up to 70 mins.
What we are discussing is that I don’t have time to go to a club or aspie gathering etc. to go to such is hour to two hour transit time there and another hour or two back depending on location.
Sunday’s aren’t no good anyways as the bus hardly runs on sundays. And there’s no groups. They all meet on weekday nights around 9/10 pm the bus runs less at night too. Peak bus times are late morning and afternoon around 7/8 it starts running half as often.
So it’s possible that on Friday afternoons like 3 ish when I don’t work I could possible go but there’s no clubs or gatherings then. The aspie group meets at a church downtown Eugene at 9/10 pm Wednesday. I’d have to be home around 10 to have enough time to eat and get sleep.
Nothing happens in my town which sucks as transit times to places on main street in my city are far less. Which is why it’s only 30 min to my gym.
There’s the library and city hall. That’s about it.
sly279 wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Why does it take six hours for you to do laundry?
Two loads and takes 2 hours for dryer to dry them each. So drying alone is 4 hours
You don't have to stand there and watch them dry for 6 hours though, you throw them in the machines and then you go do something else for an hour or two until you need to fold them and put them away. So that gives you time to do other things right there.
So I should throw my clothes in the dryer then leave the house for 6 hours?
Minds you I have to go in after an hour and restart it as it only goes up to 70 mins.
What we are discussing is that I don’t have time to go to a club or aspie gathering etc. to go to such is hour to two hour transit time there and another hour or two back depending on location.
Sunday’s aren’t no good anyways as the bus hardly runs on sundays. And there’s no groups. They all meet on weekday nights around 9/10 pm the bus runs less at night too. Peak bus times are late morning and afternoon around 7/8 it starts running half as often.
So it’s possible that on Friday afternoons like 3 ish when I don’t work I could possible go but there’s no clubs or gatherings then. The aspie group meets at a church downtown Eugene at 9/10 pm Wednesday. I’d have to be home around 10 to have enough time to eat and get sleep.
Nothing happens in my town which sucks as transit times to places on main street in my city are far less. Which is why it’s only 30 min to my gym.
There’s the library and city hall. That’s about it.
Then I guess there is no hope? I don't know what to say, you will just tell me all the reasons why whatever I say won't work, like you do to everyone here who tries to help you. Why do you keep wanting to have these conversations? I really don't understand, it seems like you are just obsessing and tormenting yourself with this stuff and are stuck in a very negative mindset. You sound very depressed, have you ever talked to a therapist about that? It could help with getting out of that negative mindset. We can't seem to help you at all, no matter what we say.
I live in reality. Most people aren’t millionaires for example not because they just don’t want t but because they can’t no matter how hard they try.
I accept and try advice from people that can actually work. I started going to the gym, I went in a diet. I messaged that girl the other day. Maybe your Advice just isn’t good?
Any advice has to work in my situation not yours. I’m going to the gym now that takes up a lot of my my free time. I work nights so going to events or gathering at night isn’t possible unless I quit my job.
Robert312 wrote:
"They don’t dislike you, they just can’t be bothered." If they also felt they could like me well enough, why would that be a bother? I get the impression that they expect to fall passionately in love with me and if that doesn't happen they reject me.
"She was probably furious at being rejected and didn’t think you had the right to reject her. High horse mentality. Forget her." People start out as friends. It wasn't worth her time if we didn't instantly fall in love and get married the next week. High horse is right if it is not worth her time to make a new friend.
"She was probably furious at being rejected and didn’t think you had the right to reject her. High horse mentality. Forget her." People start out as friends. It wasn't worth her time if we didn't instantly fall in love and get married the next week. High horse is right if it is not worth her time to make a new friend.
I'm sorry to break it to you, but a lot of girls on dating sites arrange to meet people either out of curiosity or the guy is constantly annoying them to. If they are really and truly interested, they'll go out of their way to organise meeting you, and usually send you a message or text after the meeting.
Otherwise, the reality is they don't really care.
No contact after the meeting is a *huge* indication in regards to whether or not they care if they ever speak to you again.
Every time I meet a new guy, I can tell what they think of me depending on their follow up or lack of interest. It's the same with women.
Back in my early 20s I was in denial, and thought maybe the guy wasn't replying because he was busy. It's not reality. It may be in very very few cases, but generically speaking, if someone wants to talk to you, they will.
sly279 wrote:
I wake up at 8 to go to gym I get there at 9:30 finish by 10:50.
Can you go to the gym maybe 3 times a week instead of 7 then?
Quote:
I work 4-5 5 hour shifts so 4-5 days a week.i get Sunday’s off cause bus can’t get me to work. Then I get a alternating day off. Some weeks I’m lucky and it’ll land on Monday two days off in a row yay. But usually it’s either Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday’s. Once in a blue moon I’ll get Saturday off. Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday are practice Nights I get excused from since working but if I’m off I have to attend. So that’s 5:30-8:00.
Sunday is laundry day every two weeks which takes 6 hours. And my family expects me to help around the house when I’m not at gym or working.
Sunday is laundry day every two weeks which takes 6 hours. And my family expects me to help around the house when I’m not at gym or working.
If it takes you 6 hours to do laundry, you probably need to live in one of those houses with support people.. that's absurd.
Looking at what you said here, you can prioritise getting more hobbies but you choose not to. Take all the time you post on Wrong planet and use that to do something instead.
If I was you, I would say I want to work 3 8 hour days and have the rest off, seems a waste of time taking all those bus trips every day.
Have you ever thought of business ideas where you're in control of your own income? Dog walking instead of going to the gym where people pay you?
I don't understand people who think like you, to be honest, being efficient and entrepreneur like myself. Seems like you want to do everything you can to not have to change. I don't get you or people like you with no desire to achieve stuff. I guess I'll never understand.
sly279 wrote:
So I should throw my clothes in the dryer then leave the house for 6 hours?
Minds you I have to go in after an hour and restart it as it only goes up to 70 mins.
What we are discussing is that I don’t have time to go to a club or aspie gathering etc. to go to such is hour to two hour transit time there and another hour or two back depending on location.
Sunday’s aren’t no good anyways as the bus hardly runs on sundays. And there’s no groups. They all meet on weekday nights around 9/10 pm the bus runs less at night too. Peak bus times are late morning and afternoon around 7/8 it starts running half as often.
So it’s possible that on Friday afternoons like 3 ish when I don’t work I could possible go but there’s no clubs or gatherings then. The aspie group meets at a church downtown Eugene at 9/10 pm Wednesday. I’d have to be home around 10 to have enough time to eat and get sleep.
Nothing happens in my town which sucks as transit times to places on main street in my city are far less. Which is why it’s only 30 min to my gym.
There’s the library and city hall. That’s about it.
Minds you I have to go in after an hour and restart it as it only goes up to 70 mins.
What we are discussing is that I don’t have time to go to a club or aspie gathering etc. to go to such is hour to two hour transit time there and another hour or two back depending on location.
Sunday’s aren’t no good anyways as the bus hardly runs on sundays. And there’s no groups. They all meet on weekday nights around 9/10 pm the bus runs less at night too. Peak bus times are late morning and afternoon around 7/8 it starts running half as often.
So it’s possible that on Friday afternoons like 3 ish when I don’t work I could possible go but there’s no clubs or gatherings then. The aspie group meets at a church downtown Eugene at 9/10 pm Wednesday. I’d have to be home around 10 to have enough time to eat and get sleep.
Nothing happens in my town which sucks as transit times to places on main street in my city are far less. Which is why it’s only 30 min to my gym.
There’s the library and city hall. That’s about it.
Don't you use a washing line? Or do Americans all use driers? Bizarre.
If I was also you, which I am not, I would move away from a rubbish city if there is nothing in it. Or do something outside of work to earn extra money until I could afford to. When I moved to this city I had no spare income after food and expenses. But I've met hundreds of people and have grown so much.
hale_bopp wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I wake up at 8 to go to gym I get there at 9:30 finish by 10:50.
Can you go to the gym maybe 3 times a week instead of 7 then?
Quote:
I work 4-5 5 hour shifts so 4-5 days a week.i get Sunday’s off cause bus can’t get me to work. Then I get a alternating day off. Some weeks I’m lucky and it’ll land on Monday two days off in a row yay. But usually it’s either Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday’s. Once in a blue moon I’ll get Saturday off. Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday are practice Nights I get excused from since working but if I’m off I have to attend. So that’s 5:30-8:00.
Sunday is laundry day every two weeks which takes 6 hours. And my family expects me to help around the house when I’m not at gym or working.
Sunday is laundry day every two weeks which takes 6 hours. And my family expects me to help around the house when I’m not at gym or working.
If it takes you 6 hours to do laundry, you probably need to live in one of those houses with support people.. that's absurd.
Looking at what you said here, you can prioritise getting more hobbies but you choose not to. Take all the time you post on Wrong planet and use that to do something instead.
If I was you, I would say I want to work 3 8 hour days and have the rest off, seems a waste of time taking all those bus trips every day.
Have you ever thought of business ideas where you're in control of your own income? Dog walking instead of going to the gym where people pay you?
I don't understand people who think like you, to be honest, being efficient and entrepreneur like myself. Seems like you want to do everything you can to not have to change. I don't get you or people like you with no desire to achieve stuff. I guess I'll never understand.
Can’t really make the dryer dry faster. Takes like 30 mins to wash in washer and two hours to dry them then repeat. People spend hours at laundry mats and those machines are a lot better and efficient. We have cheap 90s machines. Not the fancy stuff they have now. Does your dryer dry a full washer load in under 30 mins?
I would think it’s possible but why then have hour settings on dryers.
I post while on the bus . I don’t think you all get it. And the few hours I have free time I would rather do hobbies I enjoy rather then ones I hate but pretend to like so I possible Meet a woman who eventually will surely realize I hate it. Then freak out and say the whole relationship was built on a lie.
I can’t handle over 5 hour shifts. I had to fight them and get doctor to get what I have. Heck the nt guy And lady hardly handle it and they don’t habe any disabilities. Most others quit. The one guy talks about quitting i dont know what we’ll do if he does.
What’s your job and how many new hobbies do you get into weekly? Sounds incredibly exhausting to me.
I have changed and done and am doing stuff, but cause it’s not the stuff you do or stuff as much as you’d want me to you say I don’t do anything o.O
You know I could just go back to not working and never leaving my room like I was 3 years ago. I wish I could find someone here who gets what it’s like where I live.
Therapist suggested I try s thing where state pays someone to hang out with me. But thru only take people the state sends them so I have to call state. But I worry people will find it weird. And sucks they’d only hang out for money and probably really hate me
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