To all the bitter men

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That's the main issue for most. It's not really hard to live alone as long as you can afford to.

I think most choose wrong words to say it. What they really mean is "a good partner should be able to afford a car and a decent apartment", but to some this may sound shallow so special words have to be used. Similarly, it's shallow to say that you are looking for someone physically attractive so people use the word chemistry instead.

I don't think living with a bunch of people is good either, especially for someone who has aspergers. Those people will annoy you after a few weeks..

18 is pretty young, that was a juncture in my life that I wish I could redo for so many reasons. That was probably the time I was the most social reuniting with a friend that I hadn't seen since middle school, he had his demons and the only way I knew how to socialize was with alcohol so we were good drinking buddies for awhile and maybe I blame myself too much but I wasn't that good of a friend since I was still in a lot ways the same kid I was when we're 12 going to school together, I just never grew up or progressed in that vital period but I was clueless to it all at the time. I wish I was where I am now in my head back then, hindsight is 20/20 but I feel like I could of handled the the social landscape a lot better than I did. Somethings aren't meant to be, my peer group has been destroyed by drugs and alcohol so I wonder if I were NT and more attune to my surroundings that if I would of ended up the same.

It was kind of a depressing time honestly, I turned 18 after the economy collapsed in a city who's economy collapsed 50 years prior and never rebuilt so there was a hopelessness to it. Like I could see what was once the Allis-Chalmers factory from my house that employed that whole part of town and was it's namesake in West Allis. The rustbelt is no place to be, I see more stuff being built within a mile of my house today than I did my entire life in Milwaukee, it's a different world. My perceptions of people were so shaped by the place I grew up that it's a bit of a culture shock moving out west.

Maybe I'm more depressed now because the peers being so much further ahead of me, that really wasn't the case back home since I was ahead of the curve not having any major drug addictions or criminality to me. I don't really feel like I have any peer group here to be honest, I dunno what's worse. 'But yeah, 18 is young enough that I don't think people will judge you too negatively for the social delays and you can change so much. At 25 people's perceptions of you are hard to change and that includes of yourself, you might roll your eyes but you still have time. For me, I feel kind of an impenetrable wall with other people or like a child in a crowd of adults.

Its the reason i worry about this stuff too.

I'm sure you were surprised just how quickly these last 7 years for you have passed and I'm sure I will be too.

I'm already behind others my age.

Yea yea lots my age don't drive yet, own a car, etc. But innthe next 2-4 years most f them will along with having jobs, studying etc. And even at 22 decide to start raising their standards.

I feel I'm discovering I'm much less functional than I realized and seeing the differences between me vs. Peer each year.

I also have Agoraphobia, which is something rare even here on this website and among aspies.

In the two years of therapy and my own hard work to overcome this, I am now 20 and 95% of people my age now drive and own cars when I never set foot behind the wheel.

I'm a NEET, on disability, living alone seems far off at the moment.

One of the biggest issues is I'm not that ambitious anyway.

I'd be perfectly content with just moving out, overcoming my anxiety disorders and agoraphobia, control depression, overcome aspergers, owning and driving a cheap 2nd Hand car, volunteer a few hours a week, have good friends, family close by and a girlfriend, and when I'm not volunteering, hanging out with others, or just doing adult errands, I'd have lots of free time for my interests.

There are people my age already have this life and doing all of these things, along with working PT/FT and/or studying.

I'm not actually interested in a career or even a job at that if I stay on disability. But I will of course still work to improve myself and if I improve enough to get a PT job then i would get one.

My primary reasons fr studying at uni wouldn't even be for the degree, but to kill time/at least look like I'm doing something with my.life, have qualification, the social aspects, etc. But a big reason would be just so society and girls my age once I'm 25 or so wouldn't think I'm a bum going nowhere and so i wouldnt feel this way myself but I guess that sort of apathy would turn most women off.

I would study something I'm semi interested in but i can't say I have great passion in any career path like others my age, who as oh so idealistic and many think they can change the world.

I thinknyou kknow what i mean.

Ask most young peopw what they want to be and they will answer with idealism and passion.

"I want to be an environmental scientist to study ways to preserve our wonderful ecosystem!"

"I'd like to be a doctor because I want.to help people!"

And what about me?

"I guess I want to study Nutrition. Because reasons, I guess."

This goes over into other areas of my life because I'm just too Nihilistic about life.

You don't sound immature or delayed at all, Jacoby even if you think your mental age is 15.

I'd be willing to bet despite your difficulties in function you are more wise than 90% of 25 year olds.

You are simply comparing yourself to others on preconceived ideals created by society such as monetary income and worth, job/career hierarchy (e.g. white > blue collar, etc.) and other superficialities.

It's not surprising we have such high depression rates in the world, especially the US. Western way of life is toxic. Sure, its better than chaos and anarchy, but still not the best methodl of things.and how a society should live.

But why can't you get yourself into University?

I don't think you'll like being NEET after a while.

I wish I were a NEET, then I might have an excuse as to why I'm so undesirable. There's not one thing I can point at and say "that's the reason I'm single". Which leads to the only logical conclusion, that I am a beast that crawled out of somebody's nightmare. Any bitterness I may feel is all directed towards me.

@outrider

We're pretty similar I think in some ways, you're further along than I was at that age I think just be the nature of you being able to recognize and acknowledge your situation at your age means you can alter a lot in however many years you have until 25. I was a straight up NEET for years after I failed out of community college when I was 18 and I wasn't doing anything with my life except drinking for years(I did move 1800 miles across the country in this time period), it's been a long process for me but I have no other means so I just have to jump thru the hoops. It's definitely hard to stay motivated but going back earlier in this thread I said it's this bitterness that in part gives me that chip on my shoulder to prove people wrong. Maybe that's just something that's been ingrained into me I don't know, I find the motivation to make painful changes and to unpleasant commitments because the pain of the moment becomes greater than the pain I anticipate trying to change.

Socially I am not good, it's a pretty undeveloped part of me and the anxiety/depression/lack of self confidence really chains me down but it is good to be around people even a little bit since it keeps things in perspective and you just feel more like a human even interacting with people in the littlest ways. It really doesn't take much to brighten my day, I have such an anxious cynical worldview so when anybody is actually nice to me I am so genuinely surprised since I perceive people as so hostile usually. A smile, hello, even a nod, just an acknowledgement. Tiny baby steps for me and I haven't really gotten anywhere, it's better than nothing.

How intelligent you perceive yourself as being really depends on how you define intelligence, if you think IQ tests count for something than I probably am in the 90% percentile but I don't define it that way. I see it as what you are actually capable of learning and how you can apply that knowledge, I'd say most of knowledge is more trivial and relating to things I find interesting which to my credit seem relatively intellectual and mature compared to My Little Pony or anime. My brother's has brain damage and an IQ under 70 but I think his IQ so uneven since he's someone that is really handy with his hands and is pretty clever when it comes to learning and finding ways to get around being technically illiterate, he uses the interest with voice commands and learns things off Youtube so I know he is capable of learning and I would call him mentally ret*d. My brother is going thru a really tough time now, I feel so sorry for him and worry about him a lot.

VR has pushed me into computers since I already had some aptitude for it and thinking that it would most preferable environment for me to work in, I like computers but I wouldn't say I am passionate about them and my knowledge was pretty much all utilitarian at the beginning. I worked hard tho probably for one of the first times in life to actually put an effort into learning as opposed to just winging it with my natural ability, I felt capable of learning. Now I have a lot of academic interests and I am strong reader/writer so there interesting things to study, I am more interested in things that aren't put my degree to be honest and I think I could probably do a history degree easily or even maybe English. I am applying to go to ASU in the fall, going to abandon my associates since it has gotten screwed up, ASU I think is the largest university in the country I think which is intimidating but I think being so big will mean there will be a lot more resources and support than paltry amount offered at the local community colleges. Plus, it's always been a goal of mine to attend a 4 year university and I hoping and thinking they will let me in. I haven't gone full time but I've gotten straight As in all the classes I've finished since returning to school. One thing that has surprised me is how bad off and unprepared so many of these young kids are just out of high school, the graduation rates at these places are not impressive whatsoever.

How I compare and feel about myself changes, I get depressed or set off and not feel so good and I'm probably loudest when feeling this way. You have your good and bad days, today wasn't so bad especially compared to the anxiety and dread I felt about returning to school again. I don't have grand ambitions at all, I don't really even care about the career as much as I do just being able to see myself as 'normal' and on par with others as a functioning human being.

I hate the word "bitter." It's like if you're not happy all the time, there's something wrong with you.