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Women, what attracts you to a man?

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AnneOleson
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10 Oct 2018, 10:47 pm

I guess I’m looking at the OPs question in black and white- “What attracts you to a man?”

So, I took the question as referring to this current moment in time, and I think that is how some of the other women took the question. So its like they already have been through the process of I thought I was attracted to XYZ and now I realize I’m not. I like ABC.



sly279
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11 Oct 2018, 12:54 am

AnneOleson wrote:
I guess I’m looking at the OPs question in black and white- “What attracts you to a man?”

So, I took the question as referring to this current moment in time, and I think that is how some of the other women took the question. So its like they already have been through the process of I thought I was attracted to XYZ and now I realize I’m not. I like ABC.

Not all for eh, have had relationships.
It’s quite likely i dont know what I want in a relationship and won’t ever know unless I’ve had some.



Kitty4670
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11 Oct 2018, 1:50 am

Is it easier to be in a relationship with another Aspergers person?



Sabreclaw
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11 Oct 2018, 4:02 am

Fnord wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Fnord wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
So have we figured out what commonly attracts women to men yet?
I posted a couple of lists of women's responses, but most men seem to either ignore them or reject them outright. Men ask, "What do women want?"The single most valid answer seems to be, "They want you to listen to them when they tell you!"
What people say they want and what they actually want rarely are the same thing.
Are you calling all of those women liars? Or do you just believe that all women don't know what they want?


No, I'm saying all people are inherently dishonest and/or don't really know what they want. Take you for example. You say you want to help people, but your "advice" here almost always devolves into you sitting on a high-horse belittling everyone else, which would suggest you're just looking for an excuse to stroke your own ego rather than actually help anyone.

But if you want to interpret that as "Sabreclaw hates women" then have fun with that.



XFilesGeek
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11 Oct 2018, 3:34 pm

sly279 wrote:
AnneOleson wrote:
I’m with Fnord and XFilesGeek - if a woman (which is the category of “people” the OP was aimed at) tells you something, why would you believe that they are lieing? Believe what you read here!

PS SaveFerris, your translation card fits Canadians along with the British.

Quite a few women in this forum have said what they thought they wanted years ago when young and what they realized what they really wanted were different, so are we to assume they are lying ? Or do we accept it’s possible some people including women may not not what they want? It’s also said that until youved had relationships you can’t know what you want it don’t want(agitate told to single guys by women here in this forum)

I thought I wanted to join the military, i now realize that’s been horrible for me. Was I lying when I said I wanted it? No I just didn’t realize I didn’t actually want it.
Guys are also told they don’t really want a relationship they just want sex, whys it ok to call guys liars?

I don’t think the op was saying they lying just that they may not want what they think they want and not know it yet.
Another example I always wanted to drink untile I actually tried alcohol and realized I don’t want to drink.


Some men have a very annoying tendency to accuse women of lying and/or "not knowing what they want" whenever women speak to the topic of what they find attractive in a man. When I first got to WP, whenever this subject would come up, some male posters would always shout down any woman who contributed and claim all women only wanted "rich jerks."

Additionally, these male posters would assert they knew how women thought better than us women did. Amusingly, these were usually men who couldn't get dates if their life depended on it. The point is, don't assume somebody is being less than truthful if their personal truths don't align with your biases.


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XFilesGeek
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11 Oct 2018, 3:36 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Fnord wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
So have we figured out what commonly attracts women to men yet?
I posted a couple of lists of women's responses, but most men seem to either ignore them or reject them outright. Men ask, "What do women want?"The single most valid answer seems to be, "They want you to listen to them when they tell you!"
What people say they want and what they actually want rarely are the same thing.
Are you calling all of those women liars? Or do you just believe that all women don't know what they want?


No, I'm saying all people are inherently dishonest and/or don't really know what they want. Take you for example. You say you want to help people, but your "advice" here almost always devolves into you sitting on a high-horse belittling everyone else, which would suggest you're just looking for an excuse to stroke your own ego rather than actually help anyone.

But if you want to interpret that as "Sabreclaw hates women" then have fun with that.


^ This is what's commonly known as "personal projection."


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Fnord
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11 Oct 2018, 3:53 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Some men have a very annoying tendency to accuse women of lying and/or "not knowing what they want" whenever women speak to the topic of what they find attractive in a man. When I first got to WP, whenever this subject would come up, some male posters would always shout down any woman who contributed and claim all women only wanted "rich jerks."

Additionally, these male posters would assert they knew how women thought better than us women did. Amusingly, these were usually men who couldn't get dates if their life depended on it...
... and this is still going on.

XFilesGeek wrote:
The point is, don't assume somebody is being less than truthful if their personal truths don't align with your biases.

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-- "Kevin & Kell", August 14. 2018, (C) by Bill Holbrook



sly279
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11 Oct 2018, 5:36 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
sly279 wrote:
AnneOleson wrote:
I’m with Fnord and XFilesGeek - if a woman (which is the category of “people” the OP was aimed at) tells you something, why would you believe that they are lieing? Believe what you read here!

PS SaveFerris, your translation card fits Canadians along with the British.

Quite a few women in this forum have said what they thought they wanted years ago when young and what they realized what they really wanted were different, so are we to assume they are lying ? Or do we accept it’s possible some people including women may not not what they want? It’s also said that until youved had relationships you can’t know what you want it don’t want(agitate told to single guys by women here in this forum)

I thought I wanted to join the military, i now realize that’s been horrible for me. Was I lying when I said I wanted it? No I just didn’t realize I didn’t actually want it.
Guys are also told they don’t really want a relationship they just want sex, whys it ok to call guys liars?

I don’t think the op was saying they lying just that they may not want what they think they want and not know it yet.
Another example I always wanted to drink untile I actually tried alcohol and realized I don’t want to drink.


Some men have a very annoying tendency to accuse women of lying and/or "not knowing what they want" whenever women speak to the topic of what they find attractive in a man. When I first got to WP, whenever this subject would come up, some male posters would always shout down any woman who contributed and claim all women only wanted "rich jerks."

Additionally, these male posters would assert they knew how women thought better than us women did. Amusingly, these were usually men who couldn't get dates if their life depended on it. The point is, don't assume somebody is being less than truthful if their personal truths don't align with your biases.


I’ve seen same from women to men.
That’s not what I’m saying though and I can only relay what women in my area say they want or require in a man.
Doesn’t mean I think anyone here is lying, I think some change what they say though but i dont think anyone in this thread has.

I think your last part would equally apply to me as well as women you’re talking about. My personal experiences and truths are often called lies here.
Which is then also calling the women I talk about Liars. Worth pointing out the women here often tell me those women(I’m my area) probably don’t want what they’d saying they want. So I think a lot of people think their personal truth is the only truth.
Probably causes most of the fights here.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Oct 2018, 5:54 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
You've got a lot of nerve to assume I think women, and only women, have a set mindset. Maybe instead of twisting my words and implying I'm sexist by bolding quotes and making comments clearly directed at me, you could ask me what my life experience is? Well I'll tell you anyway, since you're now resorting to oh-so-subtly no longer directly quoting me while insinuating I'm sexist.

The head of my family is my MOTHER. She is the person I'm closest to. She married a man who threw away his future. Even though she's a full head taller, she was obsessed with him. She stuck by him through his depression. She stuck by him through his alcoholism, and even managed to get him through it. She stuck by him through his gambling addiction, in which he would steal our pocket money as kids to help fund, along with his smoking habit. She stuck by him through all of it, helped him overcome all of it, and is still with him today. And no, she's not some kind of hideous freak that nobody else would touch. She's considered quite attractive among middle-aged folks.

Where I'm going with this is that I don't see women as a hive-mind, I don't think they need me to tell them what their "true" opinions are. And I feel this way because I spent my whole life living with my mother, who broke every common belief the incel group have about women.


So Fnord, you can f**k right off. All I said was PEOPLE are inherently distrustful in what they say, because that's been my experience. If you don't agree, you can discuss it with me like a human being instead of doing your utter contempt routine. You aren't even remotely helpful to anybody, you're just a scumbag who wants to look down on everyone struggling in life while feeding your own ego. All you do is belittle and mock, and totally twist people's words. This is an autism SUPPORT forum. Not a "let's s**t on everyone" forum.


And what's worse is that Bea has just finished her WP break, o boy, the duo-bullies are back!



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12 Oct 2018, 7:30 am

@ Sabreclaw , don't bite dude ( easier said than done I know ) , they are strawmaning you imo


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MeganMaxwell
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12 Oct 2018, 10:57 am

.



Last edited by MeganMaxwell on 12 Oct 2018, 11:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

MeganMaxwell
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12 Oct 2018, 11:05 am

Well this is interesting 6 months ago I would have said some much older guy a normal Mac mansion (5 bedroom house in Aus ) in a good suburb who could look after me financially but most importantly had time to talk to me because he would be retired (think Dean Kamen about actual stuff! Ideas, designs, trains! Not that Dean is retired ) I’m pretty sure u guys gave me hell about that lol. Then I had to go work for a bit.

But had a life changing experience lately actually hearing about real pain and it made me grow up much over night. Now my problems seems self indulgent and petty.

The bar is high! And I’ve learnt things I won’t go without.

Connection is important with me on soul level I need a man who desires me as much as I desire him who I can feel love from a warmth (sounds like romantic mush I know). Who wants to spend time with me. These are actually important things!! ! I have always underestimated them and assumed all people are capable of warmth but not so the emotions are important it is important to feel desired and to desire.

But the X factor quality the one that makes me hot which I could not go without in any future mate is intellectual curiosity “The need to know” to dig and dig to be able to see a thing for what it is and not be afraid to face it ie courage.

A man was out for a walk one night with his girlfriend and told her at that moment he was the only man in the world who knew how the stars shine, she merely laughed at him she did not want to know how the stars shine.....



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12 Oct 2018, 1:42 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
Is it easier to be in a relationship with another Aspergers person?


It varies from person to person


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Fnord
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12 Oct 2018, 1:47 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:
You say you want to help people, but your "advice" here almost always devolves into you sitting on a high-horse belittling everyone else, which would suggest you're just looking for an excuse to stroke your own ego rather than actually help anyone.
If you want to interpret what is essentially "Get up, stand up, grow up, and take charge of your life" as being on a high horse, then have fun with that.



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12 Oct 2018, 1:50 pm

sly279 wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
sly279 wrote:
AnneOleson wrote:
I’m with Fnord and XFilesGeek - if a woman (which is the category of “people” the OP was aimed at) tells you something, why would you believe that they are lieing? Believe what you read here!

PS SaveFerris, your translation card fits Canadians along with the British.

Quite a few women in this forum have said what they thought they wanted years ago when young and what they realized what they really wanted were different, so are we to assume they are lying ? Or do we accept it’s possible some people including women may not not what they want? It’s also said that until youved had relationships you can’t know what you want it don’t want(agitate told to single guys by women here in this forum)

I thought I wanted to join the military, i now realize that’s been horrible for me. Was I lying when I said I wanted it? No I just didn’t realize I didn’t actually want it.
Guys are also told they don’t really want a relationship they just want sex, whys it ok to call guys liars?

I don’t think the op was saying they lying just that they may not want what they think they want and not know it yet.
Another example I always wanted to drink untile I actually tried alcohol and realized I don’t want to drink.


Some men have a very annoying tendency to accuse women of lying and/or "not knowing what they want" whenever women speak to the topic of what they find attractive in a man. When I first got to WP, whenever this subject would come up, some male posters would always shout down any woman who contributed and claim all women only wanted "rich jerks."

Additionally, these male posters would assert they knew how women thought better than us women did. Amusingly, these were usually men who couldn't get dates if their life depended on it. The point is, don't assume somebody is being less than truthful if their personal truths don't align with your biases.


I’ve seen same from women to men.
That’s not what I’m saying though and I can only relay what women in my area say they want or require in a man.
Doesn’t mean I think anyone here is lying, I think some change what they say though but i dont think anyone in this thread has.

I think your last part would equally apply to me as well as women you’re talking about. My personal experiences and truths are often called lies here.
Which is then also calling the women I talk about Liars. Worth pointing out the women here often tell me those women(I’m my area) probably don’t want what they’d saying they want. So I think a lot of people think their personal truth is the only truth.
Probably causes most of the fights here.


Yeah, women pull the same crap.

I think the key is just be respectful of other people's statements.


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XFilesGeek
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12 Oct 2018, 1:51 pm

Fnord wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
You say you want to help people, but your "advice" here almost always devolves into you sitting on a high-horse belittling everyone else, which would suggest you're just looking for an excuse to stroke your own ego rather than actually help anyone.
If you want to interpret what is essentially "Get up, stand up, grow up, and take charge of your life" as being on a high horse, then have fun with that.


^ This.


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