Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

Post Reply New Topic

Yes, the loneliness and isolation is hard: I didn’t cope with it at all well if I look back honestly, it led to some very bad decisions. I had a therapist who did limit the damage, but I was still quite a mess inside.
You’re right about women not liking being approached by strangers as far as my experience goes: women do proposition men too though, as far as I’m aware being a random stranger isn’t, in itself, an issue that way around.
Where to meet women: I can tell you where I have, but on it’s own it’s just my unique path in life and nothing more. For what it’s worth: mine with notes
• Pub
not proud of myself: such a shock I ended it quickly because I couldn’t cope.
• Pub
one night stands are awful & confusing.
• Uni Course,
seemed promising I thought: but she said that being eleven years older than me was too weird.
• Pub,
That’s a horror story: soap opera levels of nasty dysfunction. I learned a lot from it, mostly painfully, but also some shamefully.
• Family Dinner Party,
Mrs K: married life is a whole complex topic of its own really, she is now the longest relationship I’ve had of any type with anyone who isn’t family.
I don’t know how representative that is.

Approaching women didn’t work for me either: the first four all approached me. Mrs K was a bit more complicated: she told me she was interested, then refused the whole idea of a relationship when I wanted to go for it, then initiated it herself when I gave up. (This took about six months overall)
Yeah, taking your time is what worked out the best long-term: this is something that can go so badly wrong you want to be single and lonely again.
Right, Okay.
I think: “any tips on gaining and keeping female friends” might be a worthwhile thread topic for you to consider starting at some point.

Well, yes: that would be the positives! Although I’d add someone to forgive you when you completely mess up, and encourage/remind you to do things that actually are good for you. (These aren’t always painless processes, but the end result is better than not).
Bear in mind that any relationship has it’s difficult moments and upsets, romantic ones as much as any other.

So in essence just someone you’re attracted to, share several interests with, doesn’t demand too much socialising, will speak her mind to you (good one there: works for me), not into any form of extremism.
Short, not fussy or entitled: cool
I’d advise you to add “comes from a stable, loving family background” to the list: psychological stability in a partner is important. (One of the things I learned painfully).

“How to do conversation so people want to do more of it with you?” Would seem to be the place to start here.
Two things I’ve found work are asking the other person a question about what they’ve been talking about every so often, and repeating the essence what they’ve said back, but reworded and organised for brevity and logic.
It’s still a struggle to do just that half the time though: shared interests are important here (you can get away with a degree of monologuing I find).
There’s probably better people to help you than me as regards this aspect of the situation.

I am sorry to hear that, fluffy. I once asked a nerdy/geeky girl at a book store out for coffee but she turned it down. I tried doing what other guys do all the time and it still didn’t work.

For what it's worth, even the person who's got the best average so to speak still gets turned down as often as not.

That's a factor in why really gregarious extroverts seem have a bit of an advantage, they're putting themselves out there that much more often.

I didn't think you were responding to me.
I was simply pointing out the erroneous logic of your statement.
I am Aspie,
It is my job.

this should beretitled can aspie women love aspie men ..

Better yet, re-title it "Can we make this thread all about ________?"

Well, that is a good thing, in my book.
Inter-species coupling rarely produces viable offspring.
Look at the horse and donkey.

Evolution has created genders that specifically hone into certain character traits, for the reproduction process.
It may be happening on a subconscious or unconscious level, but it is still there, none-the-less.
It is rather bizarre and animalistic, from my POV.

On top of this, you have the social influences.
The seductiveness of "Fame" is a particular interest of mine.
It is ludicrous, to me, how a famous sportsperson, who adds virtually nothing to the survival of the species, will have a whole host of suitors, simply by being good at a non-essential activity.
What this tells me is how superficial human psychology is generally.

The sad thing about our life system, and for those on the autistic spectrum, in particular, is our early social conditioning/mind-rape that happens before an individual has the facility to reason for themselves.
Though self-examination happens during adolescence, the general "imprint" largely exists, influencing our decision-making and raison d'être for the rest of most people's lives.
And, the cycle keeps, errr, re-cycling.

To a large degree, it is embarrassing.
To a large degree, it is profoundly sad that people are scrambling to overcome obstacles artificially/arbitrarily designed, by our social architects, to achieve "The Dream" of what is considered a worth-while existence.

Who makes the rules?
Not the baby fresh out of the womb.
It is social traditions, created by megalomaniacal social architects, goaded by self-interest, the interest of the tribe, and guided by instinctual needs incorporated into human psychology, as a result of the mindless evolutionary process.
If it didn't cause so much suffering, it would be laughable.
Regardless, the entire process is ludicrous.
Recommendation: Avoid the influences of this life system wherever possible.

Last edited by Pepe on 11 May 2020, 9:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

"It is easier for a camel to pass through an eye of a needle than it is for an ugly poor guy to get to third base, let alone, home plate."

"Natural Selection" is a biatch.

It’s “I am an Aspie.” and you still failed to provide proof that I am a misogynist. Get over it. I’ve grown sick of this sub-forum and won’t post in it again.

He’s not saying you’re a misogynist.

How would he know, anyway? He doesn’t know you.

Think about it.

<sigh>
There was no message in my original post other than to indicate your logic was incorrect.
I wasn't suggesting you were a misogynist.
It was the invalid structure of your sentences, which were logically disconnected, that I was referring to.

I see no evidence that you are a misogynist.

Thank you.

Here's the offending backhanded statement...to the eye of the beholder...also follows a pattern
An illogical statement.
Both suggestions are not mutually exclusive.
Them being misogynists does not preclude/negate the possibility of you being one also.

If people generally didn’t dislike AS traits then the AS wouldn’t have a name and wouldn’t have existed in DSM.

Think about it for a moment.

Not quite...some of the "traits" don't allow for functional living but that's another debate

Well, yeah, good point. When I think of AS I think of very mild case of autism tho. Surely what I said above doesn't apply on classic autism nor on AS with serious health problems (such as Hyperacusis).