25 Feb 2022, 5:49 pm
25 Feb 2022, 5:57 pm
25 Feb 2022, 7:39 pm
funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,505
Location: Right over your left shoulder
25 Feb 2022, 8:06 pm
25 Feb 2022, 10:59 pm
ironpony wrote:
Well thing I don't understand is, she seems to be of the social justice type and she even said she was, but when it comes to these types of people, they think they can change the world, when really they are just trying to defuse bombs that have already gone off. But when I try to explain this to her she is just aghast. The idea that she wasn't able to stop a bomb from going off is such a blow to the ego, when it comes to this type of person, and they cannot accept it, and that is what I don't understand. It's okay to be powerless and not to be God, but hard for certain people to understand that.
This is the price you pay when you enter into a relationship with such a large age gap.
Pros and cons.
I still think you are winning by a mile, tho.
Dedicate one to me...
25 Feb 2022, 11:03 pm
ironpony wrote:
Well I think if she wants things improved to the degree that she wants she would have to become a Che Guevara type, really make dirty moral decisions and get her hands dirty, and perhaps have to sacrifice her own life in the name of the cause. But since she is not going to do that, why pretend that nothing less is going to make any change. She wants to have her cake and eat it too, but when I point this out, she can't handle it.
Pssst!
Don't point it out.
26 Feb 2022, 1:21 am
26 Feb 2022, 1:58 am
Aspie1 wrote:
ironpony wrote:
Oh okay, that's interesting. And I do want to be open minded for sure, but I feel that my gf can be contradictory in her beliefs though, which makes it confusing for me. For example, she said she felt that the truckers in the trucker convoy are protesting the vaccine because they are white and privileged. But they are truckdrivers, which is hardly a privileged job.
And she talks about how if the truckers were non-white the government would have went in and slaughtered them all. But I feel that's ridiculous that the government would commit mass murder of protestors on media camera, just if they are non-white. But also, she relies on the government to help these racial problems in society, and wants the government to do this and that, etc. But this also seems contradictory, because why would she believe in relying on a government to help with racial problems, if that same government would commit mass murder against a whole group of non-white protestors the first chance they got?
I am just trying to see her points, but they have contradictions for me.
Dude, you have the patience of a saint! And that's not necessarily a good thing. Your girlfriend sounds like a horrible person to be around. What's she's doing is called "doublespeak". That is, making the same statement verbatim, but having it mean two totally opposite things, depending on what she's spinning it as. Even back in my liberal-voting days, if my girlfriend said something like that or tried to run doublespeak on me, I'd dump her like a full garbage bag on collection day. And even more so now!And she talks about how if the truckers were non-white the government would have went in and slaughtered them all. But I feel that's ridiculous that the government would commit mass murder of protestors on media camera, just if they are non-white. But also, she relies on the government to help these racial problems in society, and wants the government to do this and that, etc. But this also seems contradictory, because why would she believe in relying on a government to help with racial problems, if that same government would commit mass murder against a whole group of non-white protestors the first chance they got?
I am just trying to see her points, but they have contradictions for me.
Dump that girlfriend of yours already! Your mental health will thank you. And while you're at it, read "1984" by George Orwell. It'll open your eyes and explain your girlfriend's manipulation better than I can. She sounds like a perfect example of the Ministry of Truth propaganda, written in Newspeak, no less. And her rant about truckers is a straight copy of the "Two Minutes Hate" from the book.
My guess is: She doesn't know what she is doing/saying.
Perhaps she isn't the brightest gorgeous young woman around, or she may simply be young without enough life experience.
26 Feb 2022, 8:28 am
Pepe wrote:
My guess is: She doesn't know what she is doing/saying.
Perhaps she isn't the brightest gorgeous young woman around, or she may simply be young without enough life experience.
I can see that. Hanlon's Razor says: ""never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity". I myself haven't read "1984" until my mid 20's. And the first time I read it, I interpreted as a dark fictional story, rather than a prophesy of what Western countries are turning into. (*cough* Biden-19 scamdemic *cough*)Perhaps she isn't the brightest gorgeous young woman around, or she may simply be young without enough life experience.
Ironpony clearly seems to be struggling to reconcile his girlfriend's doublespeak. Whether she's doing it out of a malicious intent to gaslight him or simply out of youthful idiocy, she's a danger to his mental health. She needs to get out and stay out!
AngelRho
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Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 46
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Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
26 Feb 2022, 11:44 am
Aspie1 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
My guess is: She doesn't know what she is doing/saying.
Perhaps she isn't the brightest gorgeous young woman around, or she may simply be young without enough life experience.
I can see that. Hanlon's Razor says: ""never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity". I myself haven't read "1984" until my mid 20's. And the first time I read it, I interpreted as a dark fictional story, rather than a prophesy of what Western countries are turning into. (*cough* Biden-19 scamdemic *cough*)Perhaps she isn't the brightest gorgeous young woman around, or she may simply be young without enough life experience.
Ironpony clearly seems to be struggling to reconcile his girlfriend's doublespeak. Whether she's doing it out of a malicious intent to gaslight him or simply out of youthful idiocy, she's a danger to his mental health. She needs to get out and stay out!
I think her problem is simply culturally ingrained. My friend who works for the tribal school has told me about the challenges she’s facing from a culture who is TAUGHT to mistrust white people. Once she can establish rapport with students, they see her as one of their own, but she’s still the pale, blonde, white woman. That’s not good position to be in for a school teacher.
The problem in this situation is exactly that: natives historically do have good reason to not trust Americans and Canadians. But then you have this issue of conditions in USA and Canada being much more advantageous for natives than they used to be, so by continued distrust they do themselves more harm than good. If you find yourself in a position of privilege—independence as an individual rather than sacrificing self to culture—it’s only rational to exploit that. And natives/First Nations all kinds of leg-ups to game the system. I hope his gf shifts her focus from the privilege that white people allegedly possess to improving things for herself.
I sincerely mean that. If you honestly believe the white man has taken everything from you, accepting all kinds of programs to gain advantages over and above the status of your tribe is simply take back what rightfully belongs to you. No different than how taxpayers can accept social security upon disability or retirement. That money was yours to begin with. Take it!
Rexi
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Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."
26 Feb 2022, 1:23 pm
ironpony wrote:
My gf is bothered by it, that I do not acknowledge it in certain conversations, and she said that she worries it might be ignorance sometimes. But just because I don't verbally acknowledge it, I don't mean to be ignorant. I guess I just didn't think of mentioning it, as I often thought I guess if I am what can I do about it. And whenever I tell her that, she will keep responding back with, that "I am not asking you to do anything about it, I am just asking you to acknowledge it".
But I don't see why I have to do that, because I guess it doesn't occur to me in a lot of the conversations we have about topics, where it doesn't occur to me to, because that is not often the point of the conversations at the time, if that makes sense. But it seems that time and time again, she becomes more and more bothered or frustrated by this.
After she got frustrated recently, I just told her look, if you have a problem dating someone who is white, then you can just leave me if you like and date someone else. But then she responds by saying, she doesn't want to do that, as that would regressive on her part, to just date certain races.
But I don't know what she wants me to do when she gets frustrated by this at times when I do not seem to acknowledge it, according to her. What do you think? Am I perhaps making too big a deal of this, and an SO in a couple just needs to let off steam once in a while, or what do you think?
Thank you for any advice on this. I really appreciate it.
But I don't see why I have to do that, because I guess it doesn't occur to me in a lot of the conversations we have about topics, where it doesn't occur to me to, because that is not often the point of the conversations at the time, if that makes sense. But it seems that time and time again, she becomes more and more bothered or frustrated by this.
After she got frustrated recently, I just told her look, if you have a problem dating someone who is white, then you can just leave me if you like and date someone else. But then she responds by saying, she doesn't want to do that, as that would regressive on her part, to just date certain races.
But I don't know what she wants me to do when she gets frustrated by this at times when I do not seem to acknowledge it, according to her. What do you think? Am I perhaps making too big a deal of this, and an SO in a couple just needs to let off steam once in a while, or what do you think?
Thank you for any advice on this. I really appreciate it.
See there is a problem of communication.
When people say 'i want you to acknowledge something' they want you to think about it and think about how it plays in life for a person who isn't white, priviledged.
Basically she doesn't think you understand the difference and wants to feel like you actually understand that there is a difference between being white and priviledged or not. She wants you to understand her life. And the different struggles that come with it. She wants you to understand life is harder for someone who isn't white and priviledged. And possibly sensitive about it.
This doesn't mean she has a problem with dating someone white and priviledged. Which is often how people misinterpret and jump to conclusions that person wants a breakup.
It's quite the difference. It's quite opposite. As partners we need to feel understood and viewed, like she wants you to be aware of her struggles.
I think there's this chinese song that goes like, to love a woman means to love her country. Roots are important for some people, their differences and especially if they are part of a minority they want you to stick up for them and ideally share or understand their views and stories.
_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner.
x Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.
Last edited by Rexi on 26 Feb 2022, 1:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
26 Feb 2022, 1:27 pm
26 Feb 2022, 1:27 pm
26 Feb 2022, 1:37 pm
Rexi wrote:
See there is a problem of communication.
When people say 'i want you to acknowledge something' they want you to think about it and think about how it plays in life for a person who isn't white, priviledged.
Basically she doesn't think you understand the difference and wants to feel like you actually understand that there is a difference between being white and priviledged or not. She wants you to understand her life. And the different struggles that come with it. She wants you to understand life is harder for someone who isn't white and priviledged. And possibly sensitive about it.
Ugh!! When people say 'i want you to acknowledge something' they want you to think about it and think about how it plays in life for a person who isn't white, priviledged.
Basically she doesn't think you understand the difference and wants to feel like you actually understand that there is a difference between being white and priviledged or not. She wants you to understand her life. And the different struggles that come with it. She wants you to understand life is harder for someone who isn't white and priviledged. And possibly sensitive about it.
That sounds like my latest ex-girlfriend's catchphrase: "You just don't get it!" She used it in anything and everything she tried to force on me, which was basically gaslighting.Well, want to know where that got her? I broke up with her with no warning after an argument we had, and said that if she ever contacted me again, I'd file a restraining order. (I did that before to a male friend I had a nasty falling out with, and she knew the story; she also knew I was familiar with my county and state laws.) I told her she could call me a maximum of twice, to collect the possessions she might have had at my place she wanted to collect, but after that, the restraining order applied. She had nothing at my place, so I haven't heard from her since.
Ironpony MUST break up with his girlfriend before the 2024 election. God help him if he votes for Trump, DeSantis, or another Republican candidate; or his state's equivalent, for that matter. His girlfriend will eat him alive like a jackal.
26 Feb 2022, 1:43 pm
Aspie1 wrote:
Rexi wrote:
See there is a problem of communication.
When people say 'i want you to acknowledge something' they want you to think about it and think about how it plays in life for a person who isn't white, priviledged.
Basically she doesn't think you understand the difference and wants to feel like you actually understand that there is a difference between being white and priviledged or not. She wants you to understand her life. And the different struggles that come with it. She wants you to understand life is harder for someone who isn't white and priviledged. And possibly sensitive about it.
Ugh!! When people say 'i want you to acknowledge something' they want you to think about it and think about how it plays in life for a person who isn't white, priviledged.
Basically she doesn't think you understand the difference and wants to feel like you actually understand that there is a difference between being white and priviledged or not. She wants you to understand her life. And the different struggles that come with it. She wants you to understand life is harder for someone who isn't white and priviledged. And possibly sensitive about it.
That sounds like my latest ex-girlfriend's catchphrase: "You just don't get it!" She used it in anything and everything she tried to force on me, which was basically gaslighting.Well, want to know where that got her? I broke up with her with no warning after an argument we had, and said that if she ever contacted me again, I'd file a restraining order. (I did that before to a male friend I had a nasty falling out with, and she knew the story; she also knew I was familiar with my county and state laws.) I told her she could call me a maximum of twice, to collect the possessions she might have had at my place she wanted to collect, but after that, the restraining order applied. She had nothing at my place, so I haven't heard from her since.
Ironpony MUST break up with his girlfriend before the 2024 election. God help him if he votes for Trump, DeSantis, or another Republican candidate; or his state's equivalent, for that matter. His girlfriend will eat him alive like a jackal.
Well we are Canadian so I don't think I have to worry about the 2024 election, do we?
26 Feb 2022, 1:48 pm
ironpony wrote:
Well we are Canadian so I don't think I have to worry about the 2024 election, do we?
Oops! 
I keep forgetting that not everyone on this site is American. Still, whenever Justin Trudeau is up for reelection, I'd start planning a preemptive breakup before then, if I were you.
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