Aspie dating success stories

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Does Musk's love life count as an Aspie dating success story?
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Chuckled over that. This will probably be long by WP standards. If "TLDR;" well, sorry.

Sometime around the pandemic, or after (I forget?), I met a real estate investor, a divorced woman, on E-Harmony. She owned several houses, also worked a full-time job in an unrelated field, kept quite busy and was much more affluent than me, but I thought she was attractive and charming. The reason I had a shot was I was just a year younger, and had spent much time working on my profile and profile pictures, choosing the best ones, and parsing my words very carefully. I emphasized the good qualities about myself and tried to avoid typical pitfalls like politics.

She reached out to me first. This surprised me a great deal but I went with it. We emailed first for a day, then talked on the phone. Then I arranged video chat. After that, she said, "Well, aren't you going to ask me out on a date already?" Because it had not occurred to me that that was OK now or something she wanted.

She lived about 70 miles away. I studied a map and decided upon a nice resort town midway between our cities. I arrived first and walked on foot. I saw her arrive in her big SUV, more impressive than my little car. I waved, she parked. We went to a cafe, had coffee. She offered to pay. I insisted on paying my own, we went Dutch.

Talking all the while, we went walking around the resort, then found a little park, sparsely wooded and surrounded by enormous houses. Time flew by. I was wondering whether it might be all right to take the big step of holding hands or something. She suggested walking back to our cars, and it was then I decided to ask her if it would be all right to hold hands. She rolled her eyes and said, "I was wondering when you would. Why did you wait so long?"

Holding hands was great. She noticed my ring which is the ouroboros, and we talked about it. We walked more, even though she said she had a bad knee from accidents, she said if we walked slow, it was OK. I put my arm around her shoulders, and she liked that, but moved it lower, and anchored it around her waist. This was like Heaven.

At one point, an elderly man passed us walking, and said Hi to her. She told me that he was someone she knew in the real estate investment community. He actually owned the resort. I guessed he was checking up on us to make sure she was OK.

We sat down on a park bench. Then it was, she told me she liked my eyes. We kissed and found we liked kissing very much. This was Heaven, too. We must have kissed for ages. People passed us by, walking. Eventually we got up, went back to the streets. I invited her to my house. She considered, but declined, saying maybe next time.

I was elated, went back home, thinking that now, everything had changed in my life, and I had a girlfriend. It was one of the best days of my life.

^^^ Is she still with you?

Does anyone stay with Space Karen for an extended period?

Did you end up going on multiple dates afterwards?

Yeah Grimes. But there was a trade, He was bankrolling her god awful music.

yeah, i feel i have been denied closure on that

Sorry that I was late replying, but I saw your note while on vacation. I did not remember my password and could not log in on my phone. Now I am back.

I did not want to elaborate further in my first post, because you said you were tired of hearing negative stuff, and only wanted to hear about Aspie dating success stories.

My first date was a success. Of course, every story ends, because we are mortal, and eventually we die, or something happens before we die, and the story ends in a not-so-positive way. So, brevity is the best way to stay positive in a story about a mortal life. But you have asked for elaboration, so I will continue.

What happened immediately after was that I felt like she ghosted me. She would not reply to my email afterward, and my doubts started to increase. Then I texted her, and she did not respond to my text. Two days passed. Perhaps I should have waited longer? I was not sure how to interpret her unresponsiveness. This is the problem with Asperger's, we are in the dark sometimes, and do not know how to interpret the behavior of others, we have only our own experiences to guide us and rules of behavior we have learned.

I texted her something flippant and abrupt, maybe a little cutting? She then called me right away, within 5 minutes. She was cold and business-like, judgemental, and began finding faults with me and belittling me. She analyzed of our previous interactions and pointed out all the ways in which I was not the suave and perceptive man that she expected. She then said that she was going to sleep on it, then call me the next morning with her decision.

She called the next morning and ended the relationship, before it had any time to progress further. So, we only had the one time together in the park, and that was the end of everything. I deleted her number from my phone and never heard from her again.

It is a common experience in my life, relationships are short-circuited before I am permitted any time to learn anything much at all. People like to find one thing or another wrong with the person they are with. They decide that they can do better if they just keep searching and never settle for an imperfect human. They enjoy the thrill of meeting new people and think that is exciting. It is their choice, life is a series of choices.

I do not think she was entirely free from blemish either, I think that she was not a kind or understanding person. That is why she was single, and why she nursed a big glass of wine in her hand, when we were on video chat together. She drank a lot and that is why she had a bad knee, and had the knee surgery, because sitting around drinking all the time is not good for the body, especially when you get to be our age. She may have had a lot of money, that will not compensate for a bad lifestyle. I did not tell her these things, but they occurred to me later. When someone judges you, then feel free to judge them back.

Human relationships are for others. For me, I take comfort in my furry friends, who are not judgemental or manipulative and only require kindness and thoughtfulness. I also find solace in God and the knowledge that this life is not forever, but will end at a point of time, and all of the trials will be over.

It is still pleasant for me to think back to that one date that we had together, when I had the illusion that this was love, and that my life had changed, and that I had a girlfriend. It was a day spent in Paradise, and that is something that she cannot take away. I can go back to that day anytime that I want.

I'm sorry to hear the relationship didn't go any further than the first date. Ghosting is incredibly hurtful and I don't know why people can't be more mature and end the relationship with words like an adult. Anyway, don't take it too hard.

Agreed... and, the good news is I did not get trapped in marriage or a relationship by a judgemental, callous and unkind alcoholic with a crumbling body. I am free!

That's a great way to look at the situation!

I actually had a guy ghost me, we had gone on a couple dates and I did like him, but he ghosted me for like months so of course I moved on and met my now boyfriend. and after I had even put on my facebook I was dating someone new they messaged me and Idk Idk why I even looked at what they had to say but idk I figured since the ghosted me so long they were not interested in dating me and it started innocent enough idk, and idk I thought we could maybe still just be platonic friends that chat online somtimes but then he started asking invasive questions about me and my 'new' boyfriend and being disrespectful about me being in another relationship, and revealing he thought I should break up with my boyfriend to give him another chance...and I was juust kind of like, its too late for that like if you liked me maybe you shouldn't have ghosted me for two months to where I already moved on and found a boyfriend who doesn't ghost me, and then blocked them. Cause like yeah I wasn't going to break up with my boyfriend who kept in contact with me to give ghost guy another chance to disappoint, that would have been stupid.

It sounds like you made the right decision on this matter.

Although the number of successes is small, it still is nice to hear that there are successes with us. I don’t have any successes to speak of but I hope the others on here will get that success one day.

We find other successes in life. I think that dating is over-rated and over-romanticized. I think that the best scenario for Aspie dating would be to find another Aspie, such as depicted in the excellent movie, "Keep the Change" that I recommend for everyone here.

Oh! I didn't realize we could reference a single date that went well that ended with us getting ghosted as a success story. I actually have one to share! I love all the happy stories~

So I tried using dating apps last fall/winter and I matched with this guy. I initiated a conversation with him and during the course of the conversation he tells me that he's also autistic and his special interest is men's fashion, particularly shoes. So I immediately asked him out on a date to the mall. Anyway, we meet up, and we spent over three hours going from store to store, mostly shoe stores, and he info-dumped about all the various trends and stuff. It was right before Christmas, too, so he gave me lots of great ideas of what I could get my father and brother. I had so much fun but afterwards I never heard from him again.

I don't know what I did wrong, but it was still my favorite first date that I've ever had and I measure all others by it.