There are a few people I miss.
About 5 years ago I finally met someone that ticked every single box for me. I'm pretty sure he was also on the autistic spectrum as he was incredibly easy to understand (which is rare for me). But he already had a long term girlfriend and shared house, so I kept my distance.
After a few years of trying to just be polite and friendly (we were colleagues) it got too much and I moved to another part of the country. I haven't met anyone like that before or after and have tried and failed to date other guys. I'm now ok remaining single and just focusing on a career.
Sometimes life is unfair like that, but I guess the upside is that I have had to force myself to do other things and I have benefitted financially as a result. If I had settled down with this man then I would have been content and likely not thrown myself into other projects and work with so much motivation. My siblings are now engaged/married and when they have families I will be able to help them out. There is always a silver lining to every situation.
Sometimes I do wish I had tried harder to be friends with him, as I enjoyed his company. But then if I hadn't distanced myself then it likely would have been much harder to walk away. I am happy he is in a good relationship with someone, even if that someone isn't me, and I would be extremely selfish to contact him now and potentially ruin that.
Another person is the first tutor I had in highschool - Mrs L. I wasn't diagnosed as autistic until my mid teens and up to that point school had been pretty difficult. I was very intelligent but also very disruptive and couldn't join in. I would finish 6 months of classwork in a couple of days, get yelled at for doing other people's work or starting one of my 'projects', then sent to the library by myself. Other kids were like wild animals to me and I could only get on with adults. I hated school and would scream and break things, then try to escape when my parents left me there each day. It was hell.
When I took the 11+ exams at my future highschool Mrs L was the tutor looking after my group. My primary school teacher told my parents I was stupid, unable to follow basic rules and wouldn't do well in life. She was very much against me taking the exams and told my parents not to waste their time. So the morning of the exams I wasn't at all motivated and wanted to leave and go home. I had to sit the tests in this huge gothic looking stone building with people I'd never met and it was terrifying.
Mrs L let me sit by myself in the corner (I hated sitting in the middle of wide open spaces) surrounded by chairs and let me keep my hood up when one of the other examiners wanted me to take it off. She was brilliant. Instead of running out I sat and passed all the exams and got into the school. I was then in her house form for my first year and she taught me so many things that kept me sane and focused until I got an official diagnosis and had professional help. She was an amazing woman that went far beyond her job description to help me (and likely other oddball kids). She passed away from cancer last year and the school had thousands of ex students sending messages. She was one of those people who quietly made a huge difference to so many lives.
Lastly, the psychiatrist I saw in highschool was brilliant and changed the course of my life completely. He encouraged me to draw and paint so I could learn human facial expressions and had me writing books to learn about social cues. He was an amazing man and I wouldn't be here now without all of his help. He retired years ago and moved abroad, but if I met him now I would hug him (and I'm generally not a 'hugger')!