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What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?

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Dan_Vincze
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06 Nov 2012, 11:10 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
It didn't claim either man de facto "will be" anything- do you have a problem with the methodology involved?

If a survey asks people to report the details of their sex lives truthfully, then yes, there might be a problem.



BlueMax
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06 Nov 2012, 11:28 pm

Dan_Vincze wrote:
The Daily Mail thrives off manufactured outrage. It's not worth batting an eye over.


Ahhh... I've been successfully trolled. ;) It sure got my dander up... I should've known better. Thanks, Dan.



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07 Nov 2012, 12:52 am

How unfortunately it would be if the Daily mail website would break down :twisted:



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07 Nov 2012, 2:04 am

Not being from the UK, was unaware of issues with The Daily Mail. Alternate sources:
http://www.news.cornell.edu/stories/Aug ... Study.html
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/16/in ... index.html



yellowallpaper

07 Nov 2012, 2:08 am

women have masochistic tendencies so we sit back and wait to get what we deserve?



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07 Nov 2012, 4:22 pm

billiscool wrote:
Women are selective because we're trying to find someone that we're not going to hate five years down the line:
Then why do alot of women date jerks then? is That the reason why women won't date shy men because they think shy men
are going be become bad in 5 years. I have no idea what you are saying?


i wish more women used Skype



LKL
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07 Nov 2012, 8:41 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
billiscool wrote:
Women are selective because we're trying to find someone that we're not going to hate five years down the line:
Then why do alot of women date jerks then? is That the reason why women won't date shy men because they think shy men
are going be become bad in 5 years. I have no idea what you are saying?


i wish more women used Skype

It is false that women will not date shy men; what is true is that women have been trained by society to not approach men for fear of being perceived as 'loose,' and that even women who buck this training are likely to assume that they shy man isn't attracted to them without some signals. Would you approach the woman who smiles at you and tries to catch your gaze (because that /is/ allowed), or the one who looks at the floor and won't look at you?



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07 Nov 2012, 10:56 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke544CS_av8&list=PL0FAC0DE57F7E2FBE&index=1&feature=plcp[/youtube]

For those who deny girls do this... ;)



LKL
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07 Nov 2012, 11:59 pm

BlueMax wrote:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke544CS_av8&list=PL0FAC0DE57F7E2FBE&index=1&feature=plcp[/youtube]

For those who deny girls do this... ;)

'Cause advertising is Sooooooooooooooooooo representative of how people actually live their lives! Shall I dredge up a couple of ads showing how stupid and hopeless men are, or can we agree that this ^ doesn't actually have any bearing on reality?



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08 Nov 2012, 1:54 am

Another reason I let the girls do the approaching is so I don't get thought of as a creep or risk sexual harassment.


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08 Nov 2012, 2:41 am

Dan_Vincze wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
It didn't claim either man de facto "will be" anything- do you have a problem with the methodology involved?

If a survey asks people to report the details of their sex lives truthfully, then yes, there might be a problem.


That's not a methodological problem, though... :?


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08 Nov 2012, 12:28 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:
Another reason I let the girls do the approaching is so I don't get thought of as a creep or risk sexual harassment.


Tell me about it. I say "hi", smile and compliment a girl on her pleasant demeanor and I'm practically accused of harassment later while I know a guy who flat out tells girls where he plans on 'sticking it' in them and these same type of girls flock to him. The real creep gets all the action while the honest, respectful guy gets treated like one.

It is frustrating: they expect shy guys to come out of their shells but when we muster up the courage we are criticized as being scary. Some people simply can't win! What's even MORE frustrating is when I'm out with my GF now I get girls openly flirting with me all the time, the same ones who ignored me before! Where the heck were they when I tried to meet them and contact them? Suddenly that I'm in a relationship they are interested? Makes no sense!



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08 Nov 2012, 2:58 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
Another reason I let the girls do the approaching is so I don't get thought of as a creep or risk sexual harassment.


Tell me about it. I say "hi", smile and compliment a girl on her pleasant demeanor and I'm practically accused of harassment later while I know a guy who flat out tells girls where he plans on 'sticking it' in them and these same type of girls flock to him. The real creep gets all the action while the honest, respectful guy gets treated like one.

It is frustrating: they expect shy guys to come out of their shells but when we muster up the courage we are criticized as being scary. Some people simply can't win! What's even MORE frustrating is when I'm out with my GF now I get girls openly flirting with me all the time, the same ones who ignored me before! Where the heck were they when I tried to meet them and contact them? Suddenly that I'm in a relationship they are interested? Makes no sense!


Stuff like this sometimes makes me think the whole world is crazy and we're the only sane ones!!



bruinsy33
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08 Nov 2012, 3:37 pm

b9 wrote:
Quote:
What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?


i have no idea. i never had to "approach" a girl. all the girls i have been intimate with have invited themselves into my life. the "social stage" is also thought of as fake by many NT's i can tell.

if you be who you really are at all times, then as long as you are not a condemnable person, you will get people who would like to know you in time except if you are boring and devoid of ideas i guess.

it takes no toil to sit,
and just be who is me,
there is no extra work,
when i can say what i can see,

and if what i see,
i can not set free
from my imagination...

it may be due to a slew of clues
that are locked in invaginations
of my brain that, i claim to understand,

and the newest innovations
of my thoughts are saying "stuff yourself"
i am a child of creation.
________
sorry i am tired and not very smart this juncture, but i will hit post anyway before i go to bed which will be in about 30 seconds.
I am glad that strategy worked for you but waiting for a woman to approach you[not something that happens to most men with AS] would likely severely limit your potential dating pool.



bruinsy33
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08 Nov 2012, 3:43 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
Another reason I let the girls do the approaching is so I don't get thought of as a creep or risk sexual harassment.


Tell me about it. I say "hi", smile and compliment a girl on her pleasant demeanor and I'm practically accused of harassment later while I know a guy who flat out tells girls where he plans on 'sticking it' in them and these same type of girls flock to him. The real creep gets all the action while the honest, respectful guy gets treated like one.

It is frustrating: they expect shy guys to come out of their shells but when we muster up the courage we are criticized as being scary. Some people simply can't win! What's even MORE frustrating is when I'm out with my GF now I get girls openly flirting with me all the time, the same ones who ignored me before! Where the heck were they when I tried to meet them and contact them? Suddenly that I'm in a relationship they are interested? Makes no sense!
It's likely not that black and white.Perhaps as a result of having AS your approach is likely very socially awkward and the ''creep'' being more socially skilled uses eye contact and proper facial expressions to make the women more comfortable despite his vulgar language.It's just a possibility,I am not suggesting it is the absolute truth.



MXH
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08 Nov 2012, 3:54 pm

bruinsy33 wrote:
It's likely not that black and white.Perhaps as a result of having AS your approach is likely very socially awkward and the ''creep'' being more socially skilled uses eye contact and proper facial expressions to make the women more comfortable despite his vulgar language.It's just a possibility,I am not suggesting it is the absolute truth.


its more likely the vulgar ones get away with it because the girls were already attracted to them. Not so much on the other ones.