Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Why is Asperger's unattractive?

Page 15 of 19 [ 302 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

androbot01
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada

11 Apr 2015, 3:59 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Men might have it harder because they are usually the pursuers. They are put into a position to be rejected more often.

But.....it is one's job to buck the trend. Relying on the general trend is useless. You have to create your own trends.

I get that men are geared to be the pursuers in relationships and that's fine. I also get that autistic men have a harder time with pursuit than nts. I get that the rejection that stems from the pursuer's role is greater because of this. What I don't get is why this means that women have it easier with regard to dating. If we're going for anecdotal evidence, I can offer that my autism has left me vulnerable to exploitation and abuse. I think the burdens of dating with autism even out between the genders.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Apr 2015, 4:02 pm

Autistic men and women both experience much difficulty within relationships.



Gauldoth
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2015
Posts: 333

11 Apr 2015, 4:05 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
LOL....I am an advocate of NOT allowing the general trend to determine the possibility of my success. I fail because I didn't do something right, not because of some macrocosmic tendency.


Well then, I'd wish you good luck, but it honestly wouldn't make a lick of difference... just try not to waste too much of your life before you come to the realization you're fighting a losing battle.

androbot01 wrote:
I get that men are geared to be the pursuers in relationships and that's fine. I also get that autistic men have a harder time with pursuit than nts. I get that the rejection that stems from the pursuer's role is greater because of this. What I don't get is why this means that women have it easier with regard to dating. If we're going for anecdotal evidence, I can offer that my autism has left me vulnerable to exploitation and abuse. I think the burdens of dating with autism even out between the genders.


Men aren't "geared" to be the pursuers, and Aspie men certainly aren't. Men "pursue" because they have no other choice. Trust me, the overwhelming majority of men (both Aspie and NT) would be more than happy to take a passive approach to dating, if they could afford to do so and still get results, but they simply CAN NOT.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Apr 2015, 4:12 pm

I'm a short, stumpy guy....and I'm pretty Aspergian over all. I've had quite a few relationships and I'm married at present. I think the key, really, is to not give a rat's butt about what people think of you. Just be yourself, and treat people like you want to be treated....and you'll be okay. Hygiene and posture are also very important.



Gauldoth
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2015
Posts: 333

11 Apr 2015, 4:15 pm

Yeah, right, and I'm the Emperor of Japan. Cool story bra. :roll:



androbot01
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada

11 Apr 2015, 4:18 pm

Gauldoth wrote:
Yeah, right, and I'm the Emperor of Japan. Cool story bra. :roll:

I see what's happened. Gauldoth, you've misspelled your search term. It's spelled "4chan."



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Apr 2015, 4:19 pm

I take it you feel I'm telling fibs......



Gauldoth
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2015
Posts: 333

11 Apr 2015, 4:21 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I take it you feel I'm telling fibs......


How perceptive of you... :roll:

androbot01 wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
Yeah, right, and I'm the Emperor of Japan. Cool story bra. :roll:

I see what's happened. Gauldoth, you've misspelled your search term. It's spelled "4chan."


I will NOT pay lip service to a false narrative just because it happens to also be the socially-accepted narrative, do you understand? I will never, ever, EVER do it.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Apr 2015, 4:32 pm

It's an effing true narrative, my friend.



Gauldoth
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2015
Posts: 333

11 Apr 2015, 4:33 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's an effing true narrative, my friend.


No, it's not. If it was, people wouldn't flip their lids every time someone challenged it, it would be able to stand on its merits. You're spouting trash, and you know it.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Apr 2015, 4:36 pm

I ain't flippin' nothing, bro. Are you from Hawaii?

I only flip pancakes. I can't do back flips.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Apr 2015, 4:38 pm

Ars you into Barbarian/Roman history?



Gauldoth
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2015
Posts: 333

11 Apr 2015, 4:42 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Ars you into Barbarian/Roman history?


Somewhat. Why do you ask?

kraftiekortie wrote:
I ain't flippin' nothing, bro. Are you from Hawaii?

I only flip pancakes. I can't do back flips.


Then why even bother replying to me? By now, it should be obvious I don't want what your selling. Why don't you just ignore, keep doing yours, while I do mine. And whoever's narrative is truest and resonates most with the people here and their experiences wins?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Apr 2015, 4:45 pm

Because your screen name evokes both Gaul and Goth.



Gauldoth
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2015
Posts: 333

11 Apr 2015, 4:47 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Because your screen name evokes both Gaul and Goth.


Hate to break it you, but it's just the name of an old videogame character.

http://mightandmagic.wikia.com/wiki/Gauldoth



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Apr 2015, 4:51 pm

I flip burgers, too...in the privacy of my own home.

If people don't want to believe me, it's their privilege.

I'm not real knowledgeable about Odoacer and their ilk--but it's fascinating.