The value of men

Post Reply New Topic

Garbagemen ("sanitation workers"), the people who hold the "slow" signs at DOT construction sites and city janitors make $20+/hour. My nephew, age 19, zero work experience, gets paid $18/hr as a student to hold the DOT sign.

Financially stable doesn't mean rich. It just doesn't.

You totally disregarded my earlier comment -- the minimum standard for most women looking for a guy are that he's independent AND financially stable (not rich; stable). THOSE are reason guys get ruled out.

Hot, rich and socially successful gets a guy BONUS POINTS, if you will, however, not being those things does NOT automatically get a guy ruled out.

In terms of looks, the people who are top 5% in looks get dates on that basis and the bottom 5% in looks do NOT get dates on the same basis. For everybody else -- 90% of the population!! -- physical appearance ALONE doesn't doesn't doom datelessness.



I don't know you well enough to evaluate your "worthiness" empirically. If you think you are depressed, seek treatment. (You're certainly entitled to kill yourself, but depression is treatable, so you DO have other options!).

For empiric evidence that ordinary, even below-average-by-looks-and-income men regularly find love, get thee to the engagements/weddings section of your local paper. Are all those guys super-hot and super-rich? Are any of them chubby, balding and working normal jobs?




Women earn 78 cents for every dollar earned by a man.

Women are much more likely to be poor, to be physically/sexually assaulted than men, to be sexually harassed and/or discriminated against at work than men.

C-suite jobs, boards of directors, the Senate and Congress are something like 85-90% male. Women are making incredible progress... but the world we currently live in empirically favors men in SO damn many SYSTEMIC ways.




There are more women than men on the planet and in the U.S. There's a surplus of women and a shortage of men.

Yet women still avoid you. Maybe it's YOU not every-single-woman-on-the-planet?




The woe-is-me, Elliot Rodger-like rage and sense of over-entitlement is off putting.

What value do YOU have? What qualities make you a good boyfriend or husband? What do YOU offer to womankind?

If you're going to argue that all those mean women who live independently and are financially stable are discriminating against you for being neither.... why not tell me, hell, tell the ENTIRE thread how, specifically, you compensate? Why should women overlook your flaws?

Hope can be a formidable foe. Easily crushed optimism is a big pain. Getting your hopes up even a little bit can really depress you when you ceaselessly fail at every effort you make or when opportunity is just out of your reach. I've found that social pessimism, cynicism and isolation mixed with positive mood lifting distractions (not porn, something else) can be quite comforting if done correctly. But, it's hard to make it last a lot of the time when you feel there might be a chance for you if you do this or that at the right time. And, you might be extremely avoidant and averse to failure making it like an endless loop of suffering induced by the unfulfilled desire you are focusing on.

You are here talking about this, so obviously you are seeking help with the tiny amount of hope you already have within you that you might find a way out of the suffering that has been created by desires. I'm in the same mess.

I hate to be rude, but maybe try not to look at porn as often and you might feel better not only while you are away from it, but also while looking at it. Try once every other day or two, rather than three times daily, and you will notice a difference. It might be more satisfying. The longer you wait, the better it is... but don't take on more time away than you can handle, it will cause you to have symptoms that are much like a male form of PMS, except for the bleeding.

Dramatically Increased Depression, Anxiety, Anger, Mood Swings, Gas, Bloating, Insomnia, Fatigue... sound familiar?
These are the symptoms I've had from not looking at porn for two weeks, symptoms begin peaking after about 5 days.
Once you reinstate the porn, you find that it's not good enough to see it every day, you'll need to wait to get the same euphoria, or else you'll just feel disappointed with the experience.

They call this NoPMO or NoFap, and honestly, I've never gone more than 6 weeks. They tell people to go at least 90 days to see the most effect, and it just seems really overwhelming, but after 3 or 4 weeks, you start to feel less symptoms. Supposedly, people are able to stop for 90 days or so and then their brain chemistry changes making them feel better and perform better at everything, including meeting women, socializing, any kind of tasks, etc.

It also makes any kind of sexual interaction much more satisfying, even if it's just seeing an attractive woman (especially if an attractive woman looks at you and smiles, in my experience), and of course just looking at porn will have a dramatically increased euphoria. The difference is very noticeable even after just a few days, and even more so after more time passes (except for during the flat-line periods where you lose interest in life entirely, and those come in waves on and off in cyclical form with the periods of extremely increased interest).

The best way to overcome that waiting period is to distract yourself with positive activities and avoid looking or thinking about attractive women. Be careful, that waiting period can make you absolutely insane if you don't distract yourself.

Also, I know that this seems to be based in lust and not love, but that is technically incorrect. Think about it this way, imagine that all women suddenly look like they are 100 years old. How interested would you be in them then? You will still want platonic love, but it won't be anything like this horrible depression trying to find a compatible woman that loves you and lusts for you mutually, because you wouldn't be so desperately driven to follow instinct.

You would feel casual about the whole thing, and feeling casual also happens to be something women are attracted to in a guy... not that it would matter since you wouldn't be interested. Ironic. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. It's like a bad joke. You get all the sex and love if you don't care about it, and you get none at all if you care about it.

It's like you're not really getting anything at all no matter what happens, unless you reach the balancing swing of emotions, and that is like a trampoline sending you flying high in euphoria and crash landing into severe depression.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "It's just sex."? This implies that the person saying this thinks sex is like the equivalent of drinking a couple of beers for a few dollars on occasion, or a nice dinner and a movie, etc.

Ever heard the phrase, "Everyone needs friendship and love."? Well, what about me? I've been existing in this life for about a quarter century without love and friendship. Desiring it and suffering for it, yes. But, it's not without it's good times here and there if I try to ignore those social based desires. Not always possible, but the good times are certainly worth living for, even if there is much to be desired, I can ignore that sometimes.

Again, I hate to be rude, but I had to say it, because it is relevant.
The god of desire is probably going to start stabbing me with arrows soon.
So I should take my desires and bury them much like that of an animal that hides itself in burrows.
And, then I can be comfortable in the darkness of that burrow, like a rabbit.

Good day!

It's only hopeless if you give up. Period.

~4 years ago I was virtually homeless, living in my friend's construction site, and trading my labour for a roof over my head and food to eat. I did other things on the side and earned approximately $150/month for quite some time. My AS symptoms were strong and my depression/anxiety got worse and worse. It was "IMPOSSIBLE," for me to earn any more money than that & life was t e r r i b l e.

Fast forward to today & I have my symptoms in check, I'm employed and have several potential additional employment & volunteer opportunities in front of me for the taking. I have some money in the bank. I don't earn $20+/hr, as I work in the service industry at the moment and earn minimum wage + my share of tip-outs from the other service staff. Sometimes it does work out to more than $20/hr, other times it's minimum wage. Sometimes I do labour work for $20+/hr.

Further to that, in financial news, I "made" more than $1000.00 today. No s**t. Dead serious. I worked a 7 1/2 hour shift which will make me around $125-140ish between wages & tip outs. I collected a cheque for ~$90.00 I was owed. A couple of stocks I'm invested in went up a bit and made me more than $1000.00 - probably closer to $1500. It's not "real" unless I sell the investments, but my point is that ~4 years ago it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to make more than $150/month & I had it stuck in my mind that that was my worth and all I could manage to obtain. It was, because that's what I believed at the time. Now I have some days where I make more than $1000/day - depending on the fluctuations of the market, of course, and I still don't feel like that's anywhere even NEAR my potential. I have a very large business plan that I intend on actualizing over the next few years that will make me a lot of money. I've had the idea for several years.. but it's only now that I have my brain functions under control that I can work towards achieving my goals.

FYI: Even if you perceive it that way; I'm not boasting. I'm simply stating the way life is for me now. It is what it is. I'm sharing this because I am not the only one that can make these sorts of changes in my life. Anyone can. All you have to do is believe you can, and take action and do what you Need to to get what you Want. It's that simple. I've shared repeatedly how I've managed to treat my depression and AS symptoms. If you ever want to discuss it, I am more than willing to help you with anything I've learned that can help you.

No, the law won't force you to date a woman who doesn't meet your standards, no matter how sexist these may be.

fist off .hmm who else always talked about garbagement. katykay. why do you keep coming back. do you have no life?
only a matter of time. you're slip up again and attack us you always do. then you're be gon and start a new account. yep you're so successful you have nothing better to do then come on here and bash us loser aspies.

take away rich. I never said rich. rich is millionares and billionares. thats 1% of the worlds population. so we aren't talkng about them.

$10 an hour is stable too. so is $9 an hour. yeah I know those dot guys and it doesn't pay all that well after all the fees and deductions. then add in having to drive and pay for lots of gass, pay for hotel rooms. the on and off work. you work this week but not the next. they mostly only work during summers here too. too cold and rainy to do work during the rest of the year. yes I'm sure its good work for a student whos doing it to earn extra money and doesn't have time for constant work. oh and you have to get certed yourself they wont' pay for it and you have to buy all your gear they wont' pay for it. and you still have to manage to get hired which here means experience in the job or contacts in high positions.

so why is it women wo make 9 an hour are stable but a guy who makes 9 an hour is a worthless loser who needs to get a real job? hows that equality? why are women so special?

you're the one who talks about rich no one hwere has talked about rich people. so you consider stable well of fpeople rich.

independent AND financially stable are not defined by a dollar amount.
its defined by a lifestyle. so you really mean that men aren't independent AND financially stable enough to support your lifestyle.

maybe in high leverl cooperate jobs. but in the bulk of the workforce no they don't gurentee. women in lower cjobs and min wage jobs earn the exact same men do. how do you pay a woman less when its federall mandated not to go below that wage level. I don't give a s**t about women who get paid 85 mill why their male get paid 90 mill. yeah that sucks. life must be so hard for them. just like I don't care about some ceo saying he can't pay people more cause he'll make 195 miilion a year instead of 200million.

all my bosses are women, most my coworkers are women they get paid more or the same as me. we do the same work. its based off how long you've been there. except the bosses who get paid the same as other bosses who've been there the same time.

what o.o then why do men make up the majority of the poor and homeless?

well the college world favors women way more. so I susepct that in the future all those stats will change. theres way more funding for women to go to school too.

insult insult. compare us to a murder. check check check. yep. you're kaytkay.

I dont' have a problem with porn. o.O

no but society law will. you're be insulted spit at, yelled at, some will attack you. its wrong to refuse a woman because shes not a model in looks for example that is sexist. its wrong to reject a woman over her boob size thats sexiest , its wrong to _____, thats sexist. etc.

well they lie and hid that would then .seems they say all they want to do is go out to expensive places to eat all the time, bars, clubs, concertrs. agh

no they say decent job. which means teh same thing.
why don't men's profiles have this? why don't men say this? why is income and job important to women but not most men.

I wasn't going to answer, but anyway these days and in this economy it takes two people to bring in enough money to raise a family. It's not ok for women to make $9 an hour either. You see how the fast food workers are wanting an increase to $15 an hour because they can't raise a family off the fast food wages. The problem with that is that fast food jobs used to be considered for school kids wanting a first job to make a little extra money - not to support families. The fast food workers demanding a raise lets you know that $9 an hour isn't enough for raising a family in this kind of economy.

bulshit. tons of people rais family on less. I was, my mom was. my niece was. so bulshit. bulshit. you just think yo uneed all that money and stuff. you don't billions of people do it on far less and make do. stop putting us down. this right here is a perfect example of why me and others here are so negative.

well wuppy do. you and the like sent all the other jobs overseas. people have to live you know. so we take min wage jobs. because guess what any job is better then no job.

well it is here. wtf. 9 an hour is higher then half the nations min wage. like wtf. i was raised on 700 a month and here I am made it to age 27. my friend makes 13 an hour hour and provided for 8 kids. you can make do like many billions do. also not everyone is going to or wants to have kids. i I can make enough to pay bills and buy other stuff then why can't me and a woman do it with two incomes? only because she wants to go on expensive trips and live outside her income in some dream world. why should I be put under huge stress so she can live a make beleive dream life. get out and make more then if you want that lifestyle. I don't want that. so why shoudl I pay for it.

just leave us alone. why do you fing care. were' just worthless trash, non human to you so why do you ffing care? why do you spend so much time of your life on here if you're so successufl and so fantastic. why do you come here to depress us. life must not be so great if you have nothing better then that to do. I'm fed up wtih you.

Yes. To put it another way, minimum standard means that you will be rejected for missing those, but nobody will date you simply because you meet all those points.

Do those bottom 5% get the right to complain about being dateless despite working on themselves (having good jobs, working out, wearing decent clothes)?

I always thought it's about making the same and not specific "enough" amount of money?

Women more likely to become poor than men but men are likely to go homeless (by far) than women.

i've just banned her 34567th incarnation....

and i bet she's making new account right now as i type! we must be really close to her heart.