Is it unfair of me to ask my gf for a prenup in this case?

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Maybe it is culture. My parents never went out once married, however, my dad has a lot of Aspie tendencies - he never really had close friends. My brother and his wife go out together - they even went to the trouble to get their two days off a week from work on the same days so they could spend more time together. The same would be with me - I don't have that many friends as it is and the ones I do have are gf's both are married and I see one more than the other because she doesn't have any kids. Actually I don't see the other one at all because she works 7 days a week.

Oh, and there's my neighbor Mary who her and her husband have been married 50+years and they're tied to the hip and do everything together.

People in New York City also hang out in mixed groups, or with the opposite gender, even if they're married.

The trust is there. A woman can hang out with her guy friend. There's no implication of sex, whatsoever. In fact, if the guy tried something, the friendship would be finished, kaput. It's about being an ADULT and civilized, being able to restrain your base instinctual feelings.

LOL....And don't go on about "New York Values," please!

You summed it up perfectly!

All the people my sister knows once they got married stopped hanging out with their angle friends and only do couple hangouts. My sister is one of the single ones

To me, there must be some autonomy within all relationships.

You are not the only one who thinks like this, but you are a shrinking minority. It is becoming increasingly more common for adults of any gender to mingle together, and relationship counselors will encourage you to have more hobbies outside of your significant other. Of course, different people have different levels of 'attention' that they desire from their significant other, and you absolutely can find someone who needs the same amount of 'attention' and be very happy together.

The premise is flawed though! As we increasingly lean towards sexual fluidity, everyone could be a potential threat.

Ironpony, if I hadn't read the previous thread about this, I might be more sympathetic to your girlfriend. But given the history here, I think it is reasonable to ask for a prenup, and to require it.

What is less reasonable is that you're still considering marrying her, when you have so many doubts about it, and she's given you so many reasons not to.

I'm with you. I wouldn't see the purpose in marrying someone if I didn't want to spend most of my time with them.

You know i think this topic was covered either on this site or AC - that men cannot just be friends with a woman if they are any bit attracted to her. That's what I believe. A man and a woman cannot be just friends if either the man or woman are attracted to the other. I know I'm going to get some flack back on that, but I truly believe that.

Exhibit A: My ex Aspie friend of 2 yrs had a friend who was a girl and they were friends for 11 yrs. He was not the least bit attracted to her. She had a bf. After her and her bf split, she made a move on him and when he didn't like her back in that way - the friendship was over.

For me depends on if their single when I meet them.
Which requires they be upfront about it.

I I think their single or they are single and I find their personality attractive I will get Roma tic fillings for them. If we start as friends it'll on,y ever be friends. Which is why I won't do the friends first. There's no gray zone. There's the friend zone and romantic zone and there's a very tall wall between them. Not that I've ever had a femal friend want to be romantic with me.

I think it works perfectly well to be friends only with a woman. The only requirement for me is that it doesn't start with a romantic interest, or a crush. If it starts with a crush, there is no way I will ever be able to be friends-only with her.

i had a study partner in med school. i got a crush on him. he didn't reciprocate. after a while, my feelings abated and we were fine as friends again.

Interesting. So once your feelings for him were gone, if he had changed his mind again would you have jumped his bones do you think?

i doubt it. i was waiting for marriage. i probably would have seriously considered dating him if he asked. i think it would have taken time to rekindle those feelings, though.

Well I hope that everyone is right on here and that I am wrong. I only described about 5% of her personality and the relationship, so I feel that maybe I have not given enough of the other 95%. I mean by breaking up with her, I would be following the advice of strangers. Which is what I asked for. As long as it's the right thing to do, it's just hard cause I still feel that I love her for some reason, perhaps il

i think the advice is evenly split between staying with better communication or breaking up.