How do some people get partners so easily?

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RetroGamer87
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08 Jan 2017, 9:40 am

Alliekit wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Fight you two! I hate peace!

Field location?

Roger roger. Stand by. Sending coordinates over the com.

I got the coordinates, checking the GPS.

What's that? A mud pool?

Affirmative! Proceed to mud pool Private Boo. On the Double!

I can't help but feel making us fight in a mud pool is for your own gain

Affirmative Private Alliekit!

Proceed to the armory to requisition your luffa.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Jan 2017, 10:21 am

Alliekit wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Fight you two! I hate peace!

Field location?

Roger roger. Stand by. Sending coordinates over the com.

I got the coordinates, checking the GPS.

What's that? A mud pool?

Affirmative! Proceed to mud pool Private Boo. On the Double!

I can't help but feel making us fight in a mud pool is for your own gain

Maybe he's into mud porn.

goldfish21
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08 Jan 2017, 1:05 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

goldfish21 wrote:

androbot01 wrote:

I'm going to agree that more women get cat-called (I don't know if this is true or not, but I'll go with it.) But my point is not to do with these percentages, but rather that the gender difference is irrelevant. Why not group people by whether they have been catcalled or not and take gender out of it?

When you define a group by generalizations you marginalize the person you associate with that group and it's just not healthy to do this. You're basing your behaviour on inaccurate information and starting off from a position of resentment.

Ok.. maybe we got a little ahead of ourselves in explaining the differences between men & women. Let's start at the beginning so we're all on the same page: Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.

:lol:

Surely you can't be serious?

Oh My God stop being transphobic you cis-scum!!

/sarcasm :lol:

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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

RetroGamer87
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08 Jan 2017, 3:20 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Fight you two! I hate peace!

Field location?

Roger roger. Stand by. Sending coordinates over the com.

I got the coordinates, checking the GPS.

What's that? A mud pool?

Affirmative! Proceed to mud pool Private Boo. On the Double!

I can't help but feel making us fight in a mud pool is for your own gain

Maybe he's into mud porn.

Not yet but I'm working on it.

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lidsmichelle
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08 Jan 2017, 5:24 pm

To answer the original question some people get in relationships easier because they have certain attributes. Usually one or two of the ones listed.

They're attractive. They're interesting. They're funny. They're a good conversationalist/good with people. They're successful.

My boyfriend is pretty average looks wise and not like really in shape. He's got aspies and can kinda be a negative Nancy. He's not very good with people. He's in college but can't hold a job. But he's very intelligent, he's funny, and he's interesting. I love talking to him. He's also a very caring person.

I still have an OKC profile (which says I'm in a relationship and only looking for friends), and people still message me. The people I message back are the ones that get a good hook in. One guy messaged me about bad movies. Another guy messaged me about geology. A girl messaged me about the local polticial climate. All of these conversations flourished because they were interesting and had shared interests with me.

The truth is you need to have something more than just being nice or existing to get people interested in you. And people who seem to effortlessly date a lot usually have a few things going for them that draw people in.

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Alliekit
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08 Jan 2017, 6:01 pm

lidsmichelle wrote:

Wait does that work? I'd love to make some friends like this if it does because okcupid was a place I felt comfortable engageging with people I didn't know.

How does you partner feel about it, does he get jealous?

RetroGamer87
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09 Jan 2017, 6:53 am

lidsmichelle wrote:

The truth is you need to have something more than just being nice or existing to get people interested in you.

Who says I'm nice? :lol:

I'm fit, funny, charming, tall and well paid. I'm many things but I'm not nice

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Jacoby
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09 Jan 2017, 7:47 am

How much of a one way street it is makes it resentful dreadful process but simplified yes people who get partners easily have other things going for them that makes them attractive such as money or what they can offer physically. I do not like the attitude that 'I deserve this because of XYZ attribute', a lot of it is just luck and circumstance.

RetroGamer87
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09 Jan 2017, 7:57 am

Is it luck when he repeats it several times in succession?

The guy I'm thinking of isn't that good looking and he's never had a job in his life.

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Jacoby
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09 Jan 2017, 8:24 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Is it luck when he repeats it several times in succession?

The guy I'm thinking of isn't that good looking and he's never had a job in his life.

I don't know the person but just luck of the draw changes a lot of things, I know if I were born another person things would of been different. Some people win the lottery and have things handed to them, others have their family members die from terrible illnesses and get abused and have to claw for everything they have. There are 7 billion people on this planet, there will be a lot of variance. If I was born wealthier in a better place, I bet my outcome and how I feel today would be a lot better off.

amykitten
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09 Jan 2017, 8:36 am

Jacoby wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Is it luck when he repeats it several times in succession?

The guy I'm thinking of isn't that good looking and he's never had a job in his life.

I don't think wealth has much to do about it. My parents are wealthy but at the end of the day I'm still me. So although I had more or less everything given to me I became lazy and expected others to do it for me. When I didn't get my way I rebelled against the system and took me a good junk of my 20's to get my life back together and even now I'm trying to improve it. I will admit, even now I still get somethings easier than others, but even with all that money behind me I still had to suffer from losses, abuse etc. So I think its more how you view your outlook on life. I decided it was me who needed to change and society wasn't going to do that. Generally I'm more happier, but its still hard work.

Jacoby
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09 Jan 2017, 8:57 am

amykitten wrote:

Jacoby wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Is it luck when he repeats it several times in succession?

The guy I'm thinking of isn't that good looking and he's never had a job in his life.

I think it has a lot to with things, if you were from poorer circumstances which means more than just material wealth then your life might be very different. I feel like I have been stunted by the place and people I was born to but things could be a lot worse in those regards as well which is why I am not homeless or on hard drugs, a lot of people where I am from aren't even as fortunate as I. It's easy to dismiss the importance of something you take for granted, I am lucky to have parents that support me even to the degree that they do and without I would be a lot worse off. I have sort of a fatalistic view of things, things tend to make sense when you add up the ingredients.

RetroGamer87
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09 Jan 2017, 9:00 am

amykitten wrote:

Jacoby wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Is it luck when he repeats it several times in succession?

The guy I'm thinking of isn't that good looking and he's never had a job in his life.

It is not always so. My young cousins have wealthy parents. They grew up in a rich home and yet they have always been workaholics. Wealth did not make them lazy.

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amykitten
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09 Jan 2017, 3:03 pm

Jacoby wrote:

amykitten wrote:

Jacoby wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Is it luck when he repeats it several times in succession?

The guy I'm thinking of isn't that good looking and he's never had a job in his life.

Its the whole nature/nurture argument. Which is why them like long lost, preferable identical twins for this kind of study. I do think some of my own issues come with my autism rather than my upbringing and possibly peers also. However, then there are people from poor backgrounds who work themselves up. My father for example. He's an aspie, started with nothing, got lucky and liked programming and now lives very comfortably. He had an alcoholic father who came home to beat him. He however, was just very lucky in life as he met my mum whilst at school when she declared at 11 she was going to marry him.

RetroGamer87 wrote:

amykitten wrote:

Jacoby wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Is it luck when he repeats it several times in succession?

The guy I'm thinking of isn't that good looking and he's never had a job in his life.

It is not always so. My young cousins have wealthy parents. They grew up in a rich home and yet they have always been workaholics. Wealth did not make them lazy.

It works the other way round also. There is not just one thing that makes you that way. Although my dad was hard working and grew up poor and my mum was wealthy and grew up lazy. So I might just take after my mother as my sister is hard working and grew up with me. So it might also be in genetics?

lidsmichelle
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12 Jan 2017, 3:48 pm

Alliekit wrote:

lidsmichelle wrote:

I enjoy speaking to people on there.

My partner doesn't mind. He's not really a jealous type. It helps that he knows and i even show him messages sometimes or mention things I've been discussing with someone to him.

lidsmichelle
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12 Jan 2017, 3:53 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

lidsmichelle wrote:

The truth is you need to have something more than just being nice or existing to get people interested in you.

Who says I'm nice? :lol:

I'm fit, funny, charming, tall and well paid. I'm many things but I'm not nice

How are you social skills? Confidence? Do you show confidence even when you aren't feel confident?

Social skills are important. I mean I was always "attractive" (I'm not my type but I do get compliments a lot and hit on a lot) so I still got attention, but few people wanted to stick around once they realized how awkward and blunt I was. I've gotten way better at being nice and thinking before speaking and like small talk.

I've also become more confident and that seems to help too.

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