How can I tell my girlfriend she is fat?

Post Reply New Topic

No, no. Those aren't politically correct. The most important thing is that you don't offend her. Just walk around on eggshells and never mention what you find attractive. Not offending her is more important than treating her like an adult. /sarcasm

Well played.

Aside: I watched the end of the original Mad Max movie on late night tv last night. Such a badass movie. Of course it reminded me of the few Australians I know here & online.

Back on topic: I think what the girl I was responding to wasn't taking into consideration is that sexual attraction is much more physical and aesthetic for males, and tends to be a lot more emotional & about "connection," for females - so it makes sense to me that women may say "I would never leave him for gaining weight, he's still the same person!" Whereas the typical male would be a lot more likely to say "Well... she's let herself go big time and I'm no longer sexually attracted to her, so it's time to move on."

^ My gf literally forbids me to shave my beard before any sexy time lol - because it turns her off when I am too shaved (I look too boyish without beard according to her).

She says it with no problem.

On the other hand, contrary to my current gf; there were many girls who wanted me to shave my chest because they find hairness unattractive.

Shouldn’t I be offended for imposing changes on me??! ! Hmm!!

There are plenty of women who complain about appearance changes in their men too.
The weight gain and especially gaining a beer belly is something common that I hear women complain about in their men.

I get your point, but no, not really.. we all like what we like and they expressed what they like.

As a gay guy I don't care for beards or body hair and have no problem stating that. Others like what they like and either are into me or aren't, it is what it is for each of us.

Offended by your gf preferring your beard? Nah. She likes what she likes and says so - good for her for making it known, good on you for reasonably accommodating.

I don’t think the girl would say “I would never leave him for gaining weight” because they’re not the same person are they!???! They were probably a person who cared about themselves turned into a person who doesn’t and chances are if they don’t care enough about themselves to do their basic social obligation of not burdening the health system and the ppl around them than they’re not going to be a person who can be relied on to care about their partner either! Put it like this think about all the ppl u know and if u got into trouble of any kind which person would u go to for help? Now think is that person seriously (more than 15kg) overweight? I doubt it.

Well, getting fatter usually is something people have at least some kind of control over (maybe not in very rare cases, but usually). Or if they have psychological problems that cause them to overeat they could at least see a therapist and try to get better.

In the hypothetical scenario of a man getting shorter. How much control would he have over getting shorter? Could he stay tall if he just tried harder?

That also makes a difference. It's one thing to be with someone who had bad luck. It's another thing to be with someone who just doesn't care if they're healthy or if you're attracted to them. Would being short also be unhealthy in the hypothetical scenario? Because that's another difference to being fat.

If I had a boyfriend I'd mind more if he got morbidly obese than if he got shorter than me. I'm simply not attracted to morbid obesity. Short people basically look the same as tall people. Admittedly, I tend to be more attracted to men who are taller than me but also not extremely tall. Still I could be attracted to someone shorter than me, but not to someone morbidly obese.
Either way if the boyfriend got shorter and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it, it'd feel unfair to leave him even if he got extremely short. If getting shorter was like getting fatter, I'd probably point it out to him and ask to try a bit harder to maintain his height.

I guess how much physical changes matter also depend on age. Like, him getting morbidly obese is more of a reason to end a relationship if it happened one or two years after we met, but likely not if we were old by the time he gained a lot of weight.

Sorry didn't mean to dodge the question, I got distracted by the fact that I couldn't think of a way for that to happen that wouldn't involve them being dead, and dead isn't an attractive look on anyone.
Would I dump someone I loved if they got shorter (but didn't die) than me? no. would I mind them being a lot shorter? yes, but I wouldn't break up over it. Ideally a guy would be taller than me, but if you like someone you adjust your idea of what you find acceptable to fit them.

You avoided the point. Would you still find him attractive if say he became a midget. Half as tall as you? Why stay with someone you don’t find attractive, don’t want to touch or kiss? Sounds horrible for both people. He’ll feel horrible that his gf doesn’t find him attractive anymore andnfrom lack of physical intimacy.


If a woman I was with became so fat I didn’t find her attractive and couldn’t kiss or touch her anymore then I’d have to end it itd be tough but it’d be unfair to her to stay in a shame relationship. This is probably why so many people cheat.

They could be in an accident have their legs cut off and feet reattached at their knees.
Would you find them attractive still? Would you resent them and that resentment gradually grow more and more. Would you want to be physically intimate with them?

What I seem to be getting is a lot of women will stick with a guy they no longer find attractive or want to be intimate with, why?

I don’t think people can adjust what they find attractive, if they could gay people could make themselves straight, this is proven to be impossible. People find attractive what they find attractive it’s unchangable. If you don’t find fat people attractive no amount of pep talk will make you find them attractive. Attraction is key to physically intamacy which is key to relationships for non asexuals.

It’s why I’m alone forever. Women can’t make themselves feel attracted to loser like me.

Stop body-shaming you hateful bigot! Body Positivity means we should celebrate all bodies! Except for the fit and healthy ones! /sarcasm

^ All men are beautiful.

Come on ladies...come on.

For once in WP history, give us a damn clear-cut answer to a question: Yes or No?

Stop avoiding...

Why does this even matter now? So you are a Saint, who finds only the act of neglecting health as unattractive but not the visual aspect of fatness itself? Who are you kidding?

Close your eyes, and imagine having sex with your ideal man while he's naked, what do you see? Are you totally asexual? Don't tell me that in your fantasy you see only a godly light and just a Personality - surely your fantasy man has a physical form in your mind.

So the visual aspect doesn't affect on you at all? You just admitted that you usually find taller guys more attractive, so you are a visual creature too after all, this contradicts what you were claiming.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 06 Dec 2017, 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ok,now close your eyes, and imagine having sex with your guy while he's half your height. No buts, just do this experiment now.

And tell us back if you were capable to fantasize of such.

Yes u are right I would not find a guy half my height attractive, I do however find some guy 5inches shorter than me attractive but I have never seen him in person so to be fair he may seem more attractive due to the special effects of television so in honestly short I think so a midget unlikely (but I'm close to 5'10 so if I was 5'5 5 foot might be ok?)