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My problem with relationships and age

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dorkseid
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13 Feb 2022, 7:50 pm

cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Basically, there just aren't any women who are appropriate for me at this point. Its just too late for me.


All people are faced with situations in their lives when the odds are stacked up against them.


Yes. But what's there left for me at this point? What's the point of going on when I know there's nothing left for me?



Mona Pereth
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14 Feb 2022, 12:13 am

ironpony wrote:
As for the whole double standard, are their any studies that it's healthier for boys compared to girls? Like have any psychologists come out and said that it is, hence why society is more accepting of it that way?

Physically it's more dangerous for the girl, at least if they do PIV, because the girl can get pregnant.


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cyberdad
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14 Feb 2022, 12:33 am

dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Basically, there just aren't any women who are appropriate for me at this point. Its just too late for me.


All people are faced with situations in their lives when the odds are stacked up against them.


Yes. But what's there left for me at this point? What's the point of going on when I know there's nothing left for me?


Somebody else on this thread said that there is close to 8 billion people and 4 billion are women. There is at least 1 billion single women out there which is quite a lot. You might mentally feel like closing that door but why? just leave it open, you never know.



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14 Feb 2022, 12:55 am

dorkseid wrote:
I'm not talking about an 18 or 23 year old. I'm talking about the fact that this women was his teacher when he was a minor. That makes things look very suspecious. If she had never met him before he turned 18 I would find it odd but otherwise not have any issue with it. But that is not the case.

When a male college professor has a sexual relationship with a female student he is considered to be taking advantage of her even though she is consenting and is over 18. He can be persecuted under the law. But somehow a female high school teacher can have sex with a 15 year old boy and its all fine because hey he never complained.

Even in the case of a male college professor and a female student, I don't think it's a crime if she is a former student and he is no longer able to change her grade.

When I was in college, I had a brief relationship with a grad student who had been a teaching assistant for a course I had taken earlier. This would have been a problem, obviously, had the relationship started while I was still a student in his class. But he did not express any interest in me until after he ceased to be in a position of institutional authority over me.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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14 Feb 2022, 2:54 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I'm not talking about an 18 or 23 year old. I'm talking about the fact that this women was his teacher when he was a minor. That makes things look very suspecious. If she had never met him before he turned 18 I would find it odd but otherwise not have any issue with it. But that is not the case.

When a male college professor has a sexual relationship with a female student he is considered to be taking advantage of her even though she is consenting and is over 18. He can be persecuted under the law. But somehow a female high school teacher can have sex with a 15 year old boy and its all fine because hey he never complained.

Even in the case of a male college professor and a female student, I don't think it's a crime if she is a former student and he is no longer able to change her grade.

When I was in college, I had a brief relationship with a grad student who had been a teaching assistant for a course I had taken earlier. This would have been a problem, obviously, had the relationship started while I was still a student in his class. But he did not express any interest in me until after he ceased to be in a position of institutional authority over me.


Even if he's still her professor, it would not be a crime he could be prosecuted (not "persecuted") for. It would most likely be against university policies, though. Workplace policies and the law are very different things.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Feb 2022, 3:53 am

cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Basically, there just aren't any women who are appropriate for me at this point. Its just too late for me.


All people are faced with situations in their lives when the odds are stacked up against them.


Yes. But what's there left for me at this point? What's the point of going on when I know there's nothing left for me?


Somebody else on this thread said that there is close to 8 billion people and 4 billion are women. There is at least 1 billion single women out there which is quite a lot. You might mentally feel like closing that door but why? just leave it open, you never know.


While living, you don't have any chance to access millions of single women and certainly not " at least 1 billion single"; 1 billion seconds is about....32 years :lol:.

You are limited within whatever available dating pool there for you, location and time wise. I doubt the average man gets to know more than 1000 single women in an entire lifetime.

And there's an almost consensus what's considered unattractive, for example all stats show that shortness in men is unattractive; and so poor social skills - what's considered an attractive face or not is also something that most humans agree on (to a degree, with some exceptions and variations); so by deducting all those who will never find you attractive you end up with a very tiny fraction of the pool.



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14 Feb 2022, 7:16 am

cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Basically, there just aren't any women who are appropriate for me at this point. Its just too late for me.


All people are faced with situations in their lives when the odds are stacked up against them.


Yes. But what's there left for me at this point? What's the point of going on when I know there's nothing left for me?


Somebody else on this thread said that there is close to 8 billion people and 4 billion are women. There is at least 1 billion single women out there which is quite a lot. You might mentally feel like closing that door but why? just leave it open, you never know.


This is just ridiculous. You know darn well that none of us will ever have the opportunity to meet even 0.00001% of 4 billion women in our lifetimes. And you're completely overlooking the fact that the majority of those 4 billion are children.

And even if I did realistically have access to 4 billion adult women (something that doesn't even exist), all my reservations about age would still apply to all of them.

Quote:
-Women in age gap marriages, whether older or younger than their husbands, typically have shorter life spans


So by asking a younger woman to marry me I'd basically be asking her to throw away a portion of her life span. I'd be effectively killing her.



Last edited by dorkseid on 14 Feb 2022, 7:35 am, edited 8 times in total.

dorkseid
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14 Feb 2022, 7:22 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I'm not talking about an 18 or 23 year old. I'm talking about the fact that this women was his teacher when he was a minor. That makes things look very suspecious. If she had never met him before he turned 18 I would find it odd but otherwise not have any issue with it. But that is not the case.

When a male college professor has a sexual relationship with a female student he is considered to be taking advantage of her even though she is consenting and is over 18. He can be persecuted under the law. But somehow a female high school teacher can have sex with a 15 year old boy and its all fine because hey he never complained.

Even in the case of a male college professor and a female student, I don't think it's a crime if she is a former student and he is no longer able to change her grade.

When I was in college, I had a brief relationship with a grad student who had been a teaching assistant for a course I had taken earlier. This would have been a problem, obviously, had the relationship started while I was still a student in his class. But he did not express any interest in me until after he ceased to be in a position of institutional authority over me.


He chose not to express any interest while you were still in that class. But he more then likely was interested at the time but waiting until it would be appropriate to make a move. Which is perfectly fine since you were both adults when you met. But if instead he was your school teacher when you were a minor and secretly waiting for to turn 18, that would be been a different matter entirely.



ironpony
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14 Feb 2022, 9:48 am

dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Basically, there just aren't any women who are appropriate for me at this point. Its just too late for me.


All people are faced with situations in their lives when the odds are stacked up against them.


Yes. But what's there left for me at this point? What's the point of going on when I know there's nothing left for me?


Somebody else on this thread said that there is close to 8 billion people and 4 billion are women. There is at least 1 billion single women out there which is quite a lot. You might mentally feel like closing that door but why? just leave it open, you never know.


This is just ridiculous. You know darn well that none of us will ever have the opportunity to meet even 0.00001% of 4 billion women in our lifetimes. And you're completely overlooking the fact that the majority of those 4 billion are children.

And even if I did realistically have access to 4 billion adult women (something that doesn't even exist), all my reservations about age would still apply to all of them.

Quote:
-Women in age gap marriages, whether older or younger than their husbands, typically have shorter life spans


So by asking a younger woman to marry me I'd basically be asking her to throw away a portion of her life span. I'd be effectively killing her.


When you say you would be killing her by asking her to marry you, how old would this woman be, or what are you talking about? If a woman wanted to marry you, can't you just let that be her decision and be happy, rather than 'feel sorry' for her, even if it's her decision?



theprisoner
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14 Feb 2022, 10:02 am

dorkseid wrote:
Here are some videos of clinical psychologists talking about the issues surrounding age gap relationships:





Some interesting points:

-In contrast to common belief, women actually tend to prefer younger men.

-Women married to older men tend report the least satisfaction, while women married to younger men report the highest satisfaction.

-Age gap relationships are associated with higher levels of depression.

-Women in age gap marriages, whether older or younger than their husbands, typically have shorter life spans.

[snip*]


*Deleted the self-pity stuff.

Interesting....
Quote:
Women married to older men tend report the least satisfaction,

Understandable.
Show Spoiler
Ha. I always found it amusing, watchin tv , and i see these rich old grey balding men, with these pretty blond 25 year old trophy wifes. Yeah, like they really love them...they love the money.


Quote:
while women married to younger men report the highest satisfaction.

Don't doubt it.
Show Spoiler
Ahem..i know this woman who was 15 years older, than a man. Said she forgot how good young ,men could be. especially impressed with his..what would you call it....stamina?


-
Quote:
In contrast to common belief, women actually tend to prefer younger men.

Well, they may prefer them. But they don't seem to want them. Women always seem to go for older guys, is my observation.

-
Quote:
Age gap relationships are associated with higher levels of depression.

On who's part?
Show Spoiler
I have nothing more to add, so here's a funny and immature gif from a wacky jim carrey movie.
Image


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14 Feb 2022, 10:59 am

ironpony wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Basically, there just aren't any women who are appropriate for me at this point. Its just too late for me.


All people are faced with situations in their lives when the odds are stacked up against them.


Yes. But what's there left for me at this point? What's the point of going on when I know there's nothing left for me?


Somebody else on this thread said that there is close to 8 billion people and 4 billion are women. There is at least 1 billion single women out there which is quite a lot. You might mentally feel like closing that door but why? just leave it open, you never know.


This is just ridiculous. You know darn well that none of us will ever have the opportunity to meet even 0.00001% of 4 billion women in our lifetimes. And you're completely overlooking the fact that the majority of those 4 billion are children.

And even if I did realistically have access to 4 billion adult women (something that doesn't even exist), all my reservations about age would still apply to all of them.

Quote:
-Women in age gap marriages, whether older or younger than their husbands, typically have shorter life spans


So by asking a younger woman to marry me I'd basically be asking her to throw away a portion of her life span. I'd be effectively killing her.


When you say you would be killing her by asking her to marry you, how old would this woman be, or what are you talking about? If a woman wanted to marry you, can't you just let that be her decision and be happy, rather than 'feel sorry' for her, even if it's her decision?


If someone wants to do that its her choice. But I don't want it on my conscience.



ironpony
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14 Feb 2022, 12:23 pm

But if it's her choice, why should it be on your conscience at all then if that's what she wants?

I don't understand this philosophy that young women want to be single and sleep around or whatever, because not everyone can be lumped into that category. Many are on exclusive relationships from what I can tell.



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14 Feb 2022, 8:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
so by deducting all those who will never find you attractive you end up with a very tiny fraction of the pool.


Yeah that makes sense



cyberdad
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14 Feb 2022, 8:57 pm

dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Basically, there just aren't any women who are appropriate for me at this point. Its just too late for me.


All people are faced with situations in their lives when the odds are stacked up against them.


Yes. But what's there left for me at this point? What's the point of going on when I know there's nothing left for me?


Somebody else on this thread said that there is close to 8 billion people and 4 billion are women. There is at least 1 billion single women out there which is quite a lot. You might mentally feel like closing that door but why? just leave it open, you never know.


This is just ridiculous. You know darn well that none of us will ever have the opportunity to meet even 0.00001% of 4 billion women in our lifetimes. And you're completely overlooking the fact that the majority of those 4 billion are children.

And even if I did realistically have access to 4 billion adult women (something that doesn't even exist), all my reservations about age would still apply to all of them.

Quote:
-Women in age gap marriages, whether older or younger than their husbands, typically have shorter life spans


So by asking a younger woman to marry me I'd basically be asking her to throw away a portion of her life span. I'd be effectively killing her.


Ok so my purpose is to put you in a positive mindset. If you want any chance of catching the attention of a nice girl then at the very least take a positive outlook and enjoy yourself. I like the analogy of the patient fisherman. Even after buying the best bait, the best rods and locating the best fishing spot - they don't have high expectations of catching the "big one". They wait, If they don't catch the fish they at least enjoy the attempt, sitting in the sunshine, feeling the breeze, sharing stories with other fishermen.



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14 Feb 2022, 9:11 pm

cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Basically, there just aren't any women who are appropriate for me at this point. Its just too late for me.


All people are faced with situations in their lives when the odds are stacked up against them.


Yes. But what's there left for me at this point? What's the point of going on when I know there's nothing left for me?


Somebody else on this thread said that there is close to 8 billion people and 4 billion are women. There is at least 1 billion single women out there which is quite a lot. You might mentally feel like closing that door but why? just leave it open, you never know.


This is just ridiculous. You know darn well that none of us will ever have the opportunity to meet even 0.00001% of 4 billion women in our lifetimes. And you're completely overlooking the fact that the majority of those 4 billion are children.

And even if I did realistically have access to 4 billion adult women (something that doesn't even exist), all my reservations about age would still apply to all of them.

Quote:
-Women in age gap marriages, whether older or younger than their husbands, typically have shorter life spans


So by asking a younger woman to marry me I'd basically be asking her to throw away a portion of her life span. I'd be effectively killing her.


Ok so my purpose is to put you in a positive mindset. If you want any chance of catching the attention of a nice girl then at the very least take a positive outlook and enjoy yourself. I like the analogy of the patient fisherman. Even after buying the best bait, the best rods and locating the best fishing spot - they don't have high expectations of catching the "big one". They wait, If they don't catch the fish they at least enjoy the attempt, sitting in the sunshine, feeling the breeze, sharing stories with other fishermen.


It is too late to catch the attention of any woman because of my age.



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15 Feb 2022, 5:02 am

cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
how many lonely unwanted women decide to end it all, compared to men?


Mu understanding (and I'm no expert) is that women attempt suicide more often but usually don't go through with it. I think men commit suicide over girls/employment whereas for women it's depression over how they look or how they are treated by their female peers.

so there aren't enough unwanted women to figure in these stats then.