What is "creepy"?

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so what you are saying is that the member under question is doing the wrong thing by being cautious, which you protested that nobody in the thread has said. you are reinforcing the point i made - that the idea of caution is appropriate in theory but not in practice

enough. take your personal issues out of this thread.

Oh, this is just lovely.

I have never, and I will never blame a rape or sexual assult victim - even saying that is so insulting it's not funny.
On more than one occasion on here I have stated that women should be able to dress as they want to and it is never an excuse for sexual assault.

The fault of these things does not like with the victims, but with the perpetrators. They are the cause of this.
It doesn't matter what clothes you wear. What matters is that they have the opportunity and they decide to act on it.

I happen to be a girl, by the way.
I happen to be a victim of sexual assult previously to varying degrees - multiple times.
(All of them were acquaintances I knew to some extent - not randoms off the street)

I also happen to come into contact with many rape victims at work, as I have said before, the place where I live has some of the highest sexual assult and rape statistics in the world, and that's not including the large number (some even say, the majority) of sexual assult and rape that goes unreported.

Do you know the difference between the victims who recover and those who don't?
The ones who recover, acknowledge the that one person in particular, or certain people in particular, decided to do this, and hold them accountable accordingly. They do not hold all men suspect simply because they are men - and it takes a while to truly absorb and believe that again - sometimes a very long time. It takes a lot of courage and trust to reach that place again after this, but it's necessary unless you want to live your life in fear.

The women who don't recover often are still living in fear, and cannot trust men in general to some extent, or they always feel somewhat more threatened by them to some extent. The lack of trust of an entire gender simply by association because of what a few monsters did, often colors their view of the world for a long time afterward.

I'm not saying they don't have a right to feel the way they do - they have a right to their own feelings.
But is it rarely a productive attitude in the long run to live your life distrusting men in general.
It can ruin your personal life, and your social life - if you let it.

I'm not discounting the issues women face - like I said, you have the option to judge on context and personally I think that seems to be a smart idea.
An enitre gender does not deserve to be thought of as monsters because of what some individuals choose to do.
Just like all women do not deserve to be viewed as golddiggers or hookers - just because of what a few individuals choose to do.

Last edited by Kjas on 02 Aug 2012, 9:20 pm, edited 3 times in total.

That argument can be used to defend literally any behavior. Yeah, I know people here can't agree on what counts as creepy. That's kinda what the discussion is about. And I never said there were universal guidelines as to what constitutes acceptable and unacceptable behavior. But there are general guidelines. And just because every person has and is entitled to their own opinion does not mean that all opinions are equally valid.

I really wish we were still talking about what we feel is creepy.
For me, a person that trusts no one and assumes the worst in everybody even in socially acceptable environments to interact, I would treat with suspicion as I feel they have something to hide. I find it creepy.

I'm aware there may be trauma involved. I'm all too aware you are never safe even in your own home these days or with groups in broad daylight. But I find the most overcautious of people to be rather quirky and usually very inappropriate, abrupt. It creeps me out as much as I would probably creep them out.

so you think that your opinion about what constitutes creepy behaviour is more valid than other people's simply because... it's yours? some other reason? it doesn't make sense that you should be allowed to decide for other people which feelings or actions they should have, considering that their safety could be at stake.

No, I am saying that her behavior does not constitute caution. That what she perceives as being cautious is giving her no actual benefit.

it does constitute caution (because it involves... being cautious). whether or not you believe it to be effective is irrelevant. you are not in her shoes in that situation, so you don't possess the tools to make decisions for her.

Really? That's your argument?

Okay, fine.

So you think your opinion about what constitutes offensive behavior is more valid than other people's simply because... it's yours? It doesn't make sense that you should be allowed to decide for other people which feelings (like being offended at the over-cautiousness of others) they should have.

offensive behaviour doesn't put someone at risk of physical harm, so they are not analogous. a better analogy would be allowing me to decide which mushrooms are poisonous for you to eat because... my opinion on that is more valid.

Whether or not it is effective is actually extremely relevant.

no, because it's still only your opinion, not objective fact.

I think you'll find if it's offensive enough, it does! At least it does for the person being offensive. Try shouting in a New York gay bar right now that Chic-A-Fil is the bomb, and emphasise the word bomb. Actually, don't do that ! !

Offensive behaviour can be synonymous with creepy behaviour depending on the type of offensive behaviour, too.

you have it backwards. the creepy person is the potential perpetrator in one example and the offensive person is the victim in the other one. they are not parallel examples.

miss lex, are you for real?
I wrote a literal response to a phrase, chucked in some humour. It was not in itself an incorrect answer, just not related to the topic.
And the second part of that post identifies that some people can find others creepy simply because of (what is perceived by them as) offensive behaviour they exhibit.

I wasn't arguing with you, I was expanding on the topic! People are getting tired of this exchange going on. I am just trying to make the topic a bit more enjoyable.

you appeared to have misunderstood the comparison, so i explained it.

we are still on-topic, so if you have an issue with the direction of the conversation i'm not sure what to tell you.