Oh girls have it so much worse....

Post Reply New Topic

My friend Sly.....I think women may come crawling to you if you stop thinking women are avoiding you.

Actually, I'm just fine my boyfriend having female friends and vice-versa. He's with me because he wants to be with me (and he no longer wants to be with me, he will dump me and vice versa). No one can "steal" a partner who doesn't want to leave.

Attempting to control your partner's life lest they meet somebody else?? Pathetic, exhausting and 100% futile. Also not my style.



I'm very attached to my boyfriend and not at all jealous. Never have been. I choose to be with him, he chooses to be with me. Free will.

Jealousy isn't a sign of attachment -- more like anxiety, low self-esteem and control freak-ness.

However, I do think you should trust your instincts - if you're usually a chill, non-jealous person and your spidey-sense tingle... it's worth listening to. (And if my bf felt uncomfy with me spending time with ONE male friend -- not all, just a specific one -- and asked me not to, I'd be inclined to oblige)



Because its's pathetic to set a relationship worthiness standard at "isn't abusing me right now"

isn't that like saying you'd be able to fly a plane if you just stopped thinking about how you have no training?

i see women say these things all the time. IM not making it up. you even told one to avoid men like me

group a says avoid 1
group b says avoid 2
group c says avoid 3

what if i am 1, 2 and 3 now all women say to avoid me so there's no chance. only married women seem to like the qualities I have.

you can be worried they'll cheat and not control what they do but still be worried they will. that is jealously. controlling is acting on that feeling.

just like you can hate bugs but not go out and try to kill any bugs you see.

well they could get him super drunk and have sex while hes unable to make good decisions. or just start making out with him.

but that's him controlling who you can hang out with even its its saying just that, one guy. so this confuses me

so if you see a guy who owns knifes you should avoid him or if he wears combat boots. etc. you can't judge people like that. just because I'm a bit clingly and get attached to people doesn't mean I'm going to abuse. you have to give people chances instead of assuming and prejudging them. lots of mean looking people are super nice like those bikers that protect child victims of abuse. they look mean, but they are super nice and sweet. then of course nice looking people have turned out to be rapist and serial killers. the world isn't black and white. by pre judging and assuming you miss out on a lot of things and people.

but maybe its for the best who wants to be with people who would just be like oh he likes me and likes talking to me a lot he must be a abuser. probably best to avoid such people.

also you might end up with someone who has non of those traits and starts beating you after he lost his job. its like how some people want to do brain scans on all babies and think the can predict future evil on it. you can't predict these things. if you start avoiding anyone with certain traits that abusers also had you're going to start avoidng almost everyone

mean by that logic of pathetic to set a relationship worthiness standard at "isn't mean and cruel to me yet" then we;d avoid all human contact. every human on this planet is capable of being cruel and mean so we should avoid them all or we can risk it and meet some super nice people.

mean should men avoid popular girls or blonds, lots of abusers are popular and blond.

lots of racists are white, so should all white people be avoid because just because they aren't being racist right now doenst mean they won't be. and what about Muslims sure they aren't terrorist not but doesn't mean they won't be.

normal jealousy is not a red flag. over-jealousy is. let me give an example. you get home from work five minutes late. your partner accuses you of an affair and refuses to speak to you.

Here's where your logic fails: you assume that every woman on the planet wants sex to the exclusion of all else, the way it sounds the desperate ForeverAlone men all over the web do. You assume that no-one enjoys being alone, which is demonstrably untrue especially in a place like wp that is crawling with socially awkward introverts.

Looks to me like it kind of boils down to:

If you're a guy and you want sex you can't get sex, boohoo, no matter how much you want it, poor sad ForeverAlone men. Too bad.

If you're a girl and you don't want sex every freaking day of your life, too bad, every guy who looks at you is going to be thinking about what he wants to do to you and how he can make you have sex with him. danger everywhere, red flags, much worse than just too bad. More like, that's awful, I can't believe that happened to you, did you file a report and have urgent care do a rape kit (further violation with little chance of resolution) or was it your fault because you were walking wherever you were/letting your guard down getting in and out of the house or car/being alone/dressing like a human woman/having a drink in public/being female in public?

Seriously, try to look at this objectively. Is it worse to want sex and not be able to get it, or be constantly at risk of and in fear of someone stronger than you pushing sex on you, threatening violence if you don't, trashtalking you whether you do or don't have casual sex, and perhaps forcing sex on you whether you want it or not?

Is it better to be unable to get what you want (guess what, there are things women want that are difficult to acquire too, sex is not the only goal of every human on the planet you testostereone-addled males (this comment is directed only at men who think with their nuts and never think of anything but getting laid) and it sucks to be unable to acquire food, clothing, shelter, transportation, friendship, love, respect etc. etc. etc. too so look at something besides sex objects for a change), or to be always on guard against the use of force, violence and manipulation by a certain segment of society who will stop at nothing to get what they want?

I'd rather be frustrated than used or abused. And it's not like I never experience sexual frustration just because I'm a woman, okay? I'm married (it's my second marriage but my words apply to both) and I have been in [exclusive relationship] status since I lost my "V-card" at 17. I've always, throughout those 28 and a half years except a brief period of suffering painful coitus due to an infected episiotomy scar, wanted sex more often than my spouse. Neither of the two were anywhere near as hypersexually horny as myself. Even so, I'll take horny-to-the-point-of-distraction frustration over fear of rape, violence and abuse any freaking day. I experience each on a regular basis: fear walking home from the bus stop or getting in and out of the car at gas stations or wherever, frustration when NT hubby is worn out by a bad day and uninterested in good old-fashioned hanky-panky.

If you really want sex it's not that hard to acquire. Quit whining and go solicit a hooker. It's much harder to develop a meaningful relationship with someone who won't manipulate, use and disrespect you at every turn than it is to get laid, male or female.

but that's not what was said. just jealously was said. i wouldn't even notice they were 5 minutes late or think anything of it at 15-30 minutes I'd be worried something happen and ask them if they ok though. then they could be like no or I bumped inot a such and such. we could then talk about how such and such was or how the store was or just carry on. but if something did happen i could comfort them or go get them.

i don't like when my family always ask where i going. I would treat my gf like I would want to be treated. though if i went out id let her know i'm going to such and such. just so she wouldn't go looking for me and wonder where I was. would be nice to have the same.

knew this coupleonce and she got home and her gf was gone. din'd look like she came home from work. and she was freaking out because no one had seen or heard from her in hours. turns out she just went for a walk, but it freaked everyone out. her gf was worried something happen to her.

i can't say how I'll be 100% in a relationship because somethings are unknown until you in in the situation.

I've never told anybody to avoid "guys like you," Sly.

You're creating things out of thin air.

as a submisive aspie guy you can get both sides.

then why don't woemn just go hire a boyfriend or wait they want a money from a boyfriend that wouldn't' work out.

fyi the kind of sex we want can't be provided by a hooker. they don't' love you there's no emotional connection.

don't date people who manipulate you? plenty of people out there who don't. also you ignored the gets date part. its easier for women to get dates then men. he and me an others want dates too and a relationship. its easier for women go get into one there is a guy out there who will date any pretty woman regardless of her personality it might not work out but it might too he might be a good guy. but women are way more picky when it comes to dates, and relationships. makes it much harder for guys then add in we have to ask them out and get rejected. perhaps we should just go back to arranged relationships, much easier and just as possible bad for both genders.

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=289777&p=6691610&hilit#p6691610

I tend to want physical intimacy early on. I crave to hold hands, hug and cuddle.

so you said people so go away far away from people like me.

Last edited by sly279 on 30 Jul 2015, 7:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dear Sly,

My personal life experience has shown me what it means to be a worthless male. Worthless males hit women and molest little girls. Men who are truly nice and considerate are a treasure. Women who are too stupid to realize this are Spoiled Princesses, and not worth your time.

I'm hoping you find a special lady who knows just how wonderful you are.

P.S. online dating sucks.

You're an individual, Sly...not a "type" of guy.

Why would I advise anybody to avoid you? I don't think you'd harm a fly, personally.

did someone else right this or you? if you i like the letter style just odd to see it on a forum.

i'm not so sure cause if those males also make good money women put up with the hitting and molesting. my blood related grandma did with the latter that and for family loyalty.

I hope so but the hope is dying every day. starting to wonder why hold out for .002% chance.

they view nice and considerate as weak. it often takes more strength to not attack people then it does to attack people i think.

thanks hugs.

but telling someone to avoid a type of person is the same of telling them to avoid a person that falls under that type.

I have when needed to :'( i dont' enjoy it but they so hard to catch and release and case health problems. so put up those fly sticky papers and try to look at it or I'll feel sad for them. if they outside i live them alone and I try to catch spiders before killing them in defense. family thinks I crazy. but even though I don't like bugs they are still a life that should be respected, so i give the same chances i would people. I only kill as a last resort. I don't want to be bit by poisonous spider.

^ Nope. I wrote it.

It's a sad fact that being a good person in a world full of a$$holes is extremely difficult. It's also a sad fact that a$$holes usually win. Also, the world is full of stupid people, and that includes women.

I honestly believe you'll find someone one day. Unfortunately, you'll have to work 100 times harder.

Don't let stupid women dictate your self-worth.

I don't recall even advising anybody to avoid your "type" of person.

I think you might be confusing me with someone else.