Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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RetroGamer87
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02 Dec 2015, 7:11 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
People, actually, usually meet through "friends."
An excellent idea. Recently I convinced one of my exes to start searching for a new girlfriend for me. For this reason I think it's always good to remain friends with exes.


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Spiderpig
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02 Dec 2015, 8:44 am

Friends first?


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kraftiekortie
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02 Dec 2015, 8:46 am

Friends first, I believe, provides substance to relationships.



RetroGamer87
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02 Dec 2015, 8:49 am

I find the idea of dating my female friends to be strange and discomforting.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Dec 2015, 8:50 am

I think friendship could lead to skyrockets and sparks.

It could also lead to a regular life-long friendship without romance.



RetroGamer87
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02 Dec 2015, 8:54 am

I wouldn't want to try it but it can work for some.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Dec 2015, 8:57 am

My view on this: if it happens, it happens.



Spiderpig
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02 Dec 2015, 8:58 am

I used to entertain the idea of trying that approach. Then I read that comic strip. It was a few years ago.


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RetroGamer87
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02 Dec 2015, 9:15 am

I thought about it when I was younger. I was 20. She was a 22 year old aspie anime nerd, tall and thin. I waited too long. I was always going to do it "later". Now she's been madly in love with the same NT guy for the last six years. We're still friends but I find seeing her to be strangely unpleasant. Now she's a very youthful and slender 30 year old who still gets ID checked every time she buys a cider.

That's why I don't want to befriend anyone before dating them. Guys say that asking a friend out can damage a friendship but the sexual tension of being around a really attractive friend can be just as damaging to friendship.


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02 Dec 2015, 10:00 am

I don't think Kraftie is saying that you should start dating your female friends on a whim or that you should befriend a woman you really want to ask on a date. It's just that sometimes when 2 people spend time together they start to fall for each other. They both want to be together to the point where it's obvious to all their other friends and these 2 just gravitate towards each other. It's not a risk because they so obviously fancy each other.

Dating isn't really a thing in the UK. It's still seen as a bit of a strange American import. You hear people saying, thank goodness we don't do that here. We just hang out with someone until one day you're drunk enough to admit you fancy them.



kraftiekortie
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02 Dec 2015, 10:15 am

yep....very much what Hurtloam is saying. Thanks, Hurtloam.

I have found, actually, quite a few instances where friends become lovers. They are friends without the intention (conscious at least) of love--but then things just "develop."

Yes, there could be unpleasant consequences to the friendship if the "love part" doesn't work....but that's the chance we have to take, right?

This is Human Relations. Really it is.



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02 Dec 2015, 10:16 am

Starting and maintaining any friendships let alone a wide range isn't much easier, once the social capital is extinguished it is pretty hard to get back and that is if you had any to begin with.



RetroGamer87
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02 Dec 2015, 11:17 am

hurtloam wrote:
Dating isn't really a thing in the UK. It's still seen as a bit of a strange American import. You hear people saying, thank goodness we don't do that here. We just hang out with someone until one day you're drunk enough to admit you fancy them.
Dating isn't a thing there? Really? :o Maybe that's a good system because in my brief relationship I hated the dating part and enjoyed the subsequent hanging out part. I really didn't understand why I had to get to know the girl in the worst possible environment, a noisy bar where I could hardly hear her speak.


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02 Dec 2015, 11:45 am

Probably because making it hard and risky to approach the girls is the whole point. It weeds out would-be suitors who get forcefully turned away by some badass, and those who, knowing what's good for them, keep a low profile.


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02 Dec 2015, 12:14 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I dunno, all the single guys I know who are over 30 are all pretty picky. No one seems to be good enough for them. They've also got used to their own lives and their own habits and don't seem to be able to let anyone in.

There really is no truth in the idea that one gender has it easier. Broken people of either gender are inferior and not going to be selected. That's the way it is. If you are sub-standard, you are not attractive. Doesn't matter what gender you are.
So that's my problem, it's just because I'm broken and inferior. That explains everything. :o


No I think that was more an example of idiocy.


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02 Dec 2015, 12:22 pm

NerdyAnimeGirl wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
So in a sense women just lay back and let men do all the work?

Not just 'in a sense', this is quite literally the case.
Whens the last time you were chased by a girl?
Girls get hit on on the daily if they are at least average attractiveness.
You might be a statisical outlier but most men aren't hit on by girls nearly as often as this.
Of course, me being aspie I didn't notice this -- in hindsight it was true.
But NT girls know this intrinsically.


I've never gotten hit on that often and I am at least average attractiveness, though currently if I did get hit on I wouldn't reciprocate as I am in a relationship. Sometimes if a girl does not welcome the flirting it could be they aren't available not because they think the guy is unworthy to date women.


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