Serious issues with L&D Forum

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No the real problem is when people notice negative traits and attitudes in the opposite sex and decide to focus solely on that and block out anything positive.

Yes, there are people out there with bad qualities, but we don't have to keep dwelling on that. Also, it makes the people of the opposite sex with good qualities feel like you can't see them. And that is what makes us angry.

I'm going to send you all away to watch Pollyanna. Even when life is bad there are things to be glad about.

That should be a prerequisite for posting in L&D, you must watch Pollyanna and post 10 things to be glad about.

Someone who posted after you when I was trying to post.

I'm totally riled up about it. I'm going to dig a hole in the ground get in it, and stone myself.

I will hold you personally responsible.

We are entitled to our own defence.

please take the next spot, I am already digging here

Good question. I'd say the latter. It's not Sly's posts that should be banned, but feminist and sexist interpretations of them.

Nope....I don't feel there should be segregation of the genders at all.

Perhaps, topics which become political should be moved to PPR.

I believe the solution lies in more intensive moderation of L & D, with a sticky placed detailing the rules of L & D.

Only criticize the idea, not the person.

I don't believe draconian measures are needed, or that even much change is needed.

The fact that we are able to have a discussion here without too much mud-slinging indicates that L & D not as bad as we thought it was, and that it could be made even more viable with an appeal to peoples' ability to informally "censor" obviously misogynist/misandrist posts, and to not assume that one detailing bad experiences with either gender is either misogynist or misandrist.

A woman detailing one's man's abuse is not misandrist; a man detailing why a woman rejected him is not misogynist.

L&D seem ok to me most of the time, I don't see why many people talk so bad of it.

He does cross the line sometimes, though.

I don't believe Sly has misogynist views or intentions. I just feel he should meet more women in real life.

Research studies pertaining to dating frequently do not reflect reality or individuals. If people base their dating choices on them, they will not be successful.

Sometimes, people rely too much on them.

Ranting belongs in the Haven. Rants are about the posters experience and frustration, not about love and dating.

Agreed. If the poster is not in love with someone, AND the poster is not dating the person they are in love with, then the post belongs elsewhere (in my opinion). Leave the broken-hearted winges and abandonment/betrayal rants for The Haven

Post in L&D only if you want to declare your love for someone, ask for advice on dating or attracting someone, or announce impending nuptials (in my opinion).

So if under your proposed scheme we can ask for advice on attracting someone does that nullify your earlier point that we can only post if we're already dating someone and already in love with someone?

Rants are unproductive for everyone. Venting negative feelings is bad for the listener and bad for the speaker. That's why they belong in the Haven. There it is expected that negative emotions are getting the best of you.

Following this line of thinking, every thread that mentions women should be moved to the Women's Forum.

Truthfully, there are times that when people are feeling stress--that to air their feelings would serve as a catharsis, as a way to release the emotional hurt from their bodies, so that they would feel less burdened with those feelings.

Sometimes, when I cry, I feel a release, and I feel relief.

Sometimes, when other people release their feelings, I hope I could encourage a catharsis, so that they would feel less burdened with their hurt. And, yes, if I were to help in the process, I would feel good, too.

I didn't ask about rants. Supposing I want advice on how to attract women?

No, you should bottle your feelings up because negative feelings are inappropriate and talking about them serves no useful purpose. We should just force ourselves to be happy all the time. Conform. /sarcasm