I'm running out of time

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Do you have income? Do you have expenses? This is what you can optimize to have SOME money left every week/month to pay out your debts and/or save.

If you have debt you can even start with optimizing your debt, find ways to restructure it and take some action to reduce interest rates.


Then you should start with addressing your depression first.


No it doesn't I know this from many years of personal experience and from observations of people who made it despite this stigma, some even use being on the spectrum as part of their identity and as leverage to achieve their goals.


Why are you asking if you are fit enough for me? The question you should ask if you are fit enough for women you want to be attracted to you. But anyways, I think no, in general walking several miles a day is much-much better than nothing, but it doesn't make you very fit in terms of attractiveness.

Like a lot of people on the spectrum you are most likely a late bloomer. Probably by the time you reached maturity to be attractive to women you already got depressed and lost your best shape.


Every person has strengths and weaknesses. If someone makes it despite having some weakness due to having some other strengths doesn't mean this weakness has no bearing on this matter.

It could be one of your strengths, but you rule it out based on this flawed logic.


No, there are many men with ASD, who have girlfriends.

I personally think the media sells the images that it wants people to want. Even when it reflects instinctual preferences, it plays to the worse of them, not the best of them.

Posters are trying to give you something tangible to do that can fix concerns you, yourself, have stated. If your self-confidence is down because of your weight, changing your weight will help your self-confidence, and having more self-confidence is likely to increase your odds. Plus, working out will make you feel better, overall, and that is a good thing. It will help mitigate your depression and make you feel better about yourself. Do it for your health, not because you think society demands it, and not because you think it will attract women.

Walking is a great way to start. It just ... feels GOOD. Helps people sort out their thoughts and find solutions, too. Maybe not the first day, but it will. If it inspires you to take other actions to improve your overall health, all the better.

A few small changes can be a start to enjoying your life more, and perhaps getting more of what you want out of life. Worth a try.

Also, I've never said the superficial items are complete non-factors. They can do a good job of attracting customers to your store, so to speak. But they aren't the most important, not at all. Ultimately a store will make or break on the desirability of what it sells, not the lure of its advertising. The same is true with people: what is inside matters the most. With relationships, it's all about if your piece of the puzzle fits with theirs, even if you're the moldy piece decaying in a dark corner.

Isn't there women out there for the OP that are going through the same things though?

Yes, but how do they meet?

It's like finding a needle in a haystack.

As I've already explained, I used to being fit and women still rejected me. So being physically fit will not make me feel any more confident, since I know that physical fitness does nothing to make women attracted to me.

I get there are things I could have done to improve my chances 10 years ago.

The OP has clearly stated that he is solely interested in women significantly younger than himself, so finding such a match will be difficult.

If the media wasn't offering people what they want, it would not be profitable or successful.



As I've already explained, I used to being fit and women still rejected me. So being physically fit will not make me feel any more confident, since I know that physical fitness does nothing to make women attracted to me.



Again, I regularly walked several miles a day for many years. And women still rejected me.



If I'm going to be alone forever, nothing else matters. I've already lost any sense of joy I used to get out of anything in my life.



Okay, then let's look at what I'm selling, shall we: a broke 40-year-old virgin agoraphobic man-child with no social skills, ASD, major depression and generalized anxiety disorder, complex PTSD, and vulnerable narcissisms who is prone to emotional meltdowns, fits of rage, and suicidal ideation at the slightest hint of any kind of stressful event occurring. How does that grab you? Like you yourself just said: the lure of the advertising will not compensate for poor quality. Even if I was physically fit and attractive, that wouldn't change how much of a train wreck I actually am underneath that.

As I've already explained, when you were fit other factor made you unattractive, like it did for majority of men on the spectrum.

Being physically fit will improve your fitness and make you more confident mentally: Brain Power & Movement Link

No. I already know from past experience that being physically fit did nothing to make women attracted to me before, so it won't do anything to improve my confidence with women now.

And every one of those other factors is still present. And on top that I'm now much older but still practically a virgin with no relationship/bedroom experience and no money or financial security. And all the additional years of unemployment, homelessness, and social rejection and abuse have made my psychol⁶ogical issues much worse and more noticeable then they were in my early 20s.



I'm already too old and aged out of the dating market. It's already too late for anything I start now to make a difference.

I didn’t say the lure of advertising can’t compensate for poor quality, I said it can’t outweigh the desirability of what is being sold, and then clarified that when it comes to relationships it’s about finding the pieces that magically fit, even if the right piece turns out to be molding and hiding in a dark corner.

You don’t get it, it isn’t about the desirability list, it’s about what does and doesn’t happen to fit together.

Sometimes the weirdest pieces end up coming together and making a match. It can’t be predicted and it can never be ruled out. I understand your odds aren’t looking great for all the reasons you’ve mentioned, but the odds are not zero unless you CHOOSE to make them zero. That is on you, no one else. Make a more positive choice.

And every one of those other factors is still present. And on top that I'm now much older but still practically a virgin with no relationship/bedroom experience and no money or financial security. And all the additional years of unemployment, homelessness, and social rejection and abuse have made my psychological issues much worse and more noticeable then they were in my early 20s.

You are wrong. I strongly believe by the time you reached maturity to be in intimate relationship with a woman, probably in your late twenties, you got depressed. Young women are not attracted to people who have emotional maturity of a 10 year old, but intellectual development of a 'square' 40 year old man. This is the case with a lot of men on the spectrum.

Old factors are not present anymore, now the main factor is your learned helplessness, the fact that you've gave up trying.

I was homeless in my late 20s.