The only women my age I would be interested in

Post Reply New Topic

1) If someone decided to do that, they could, and yes they would get people arrested that way too IF they did it

2) Whether or not someone, in fact, utilized this possibility, that I don't know

I say "1" because any crime is a potential sting-content. As I already mentioned two separate crimes (underage and car thief) that were stings. So they might as well do sting on a third crime: dating disabled.

I also say "2" because not everything that is "possible" actually takes place. So whether or not it takes place is something to ask more knowledgeable forum members who watch things like cops and other stuff more often than me.

Oh okay. Is dating mentally disabeled people always a crime though? For example, I am ASD, which is considered a disability, and I have a gf, but no police seem to be investigating her for a crime, or coming after her for example. Unless she is still committing a crime by doing so?

I think people need to be mentally ret*d (as in, IQ less than 70) in order for this to be a crime. I am not entirely sure though: maybe there are other things besides IQ that would disqualify people too? I am not positive either way.

But I am pretty sure with Asperger its fine because none of my numerous potential dates in the past ever mentioned any legal aspects of us dating even though I tell pretty much everyone I have Asperger.

Last edited by QFT on 09 Jan 2022, 9:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Oh okay, thanks. I am not sure then for your case. I guess if you like younger women, just try dating them, if that's what you want, but just be careful they are not underage or disabled?

I won't date anyone underage.

As far as disabled, some of my short term relationships had people with Asperger, bipolar, and few other conditions. But never disabled.

As far as someone being of legal age but still in high school, I avoid this. Better be safe than sorry.

If someone is over 18 and no longer in high school, then it is safe. Even if its 18. As long as its not anything younger.

In Romania it might be different, but in America -- if it is university -- they won't tell grades even to parents. My mom tried asking about my grades at the university and they won't tell them to her. But they told her my grades when I was in high school -- even though I was 18. This shows that they treated me as a minor *despite* my being 18. The only explanation for this seems to be that being in high school makes the person a minor regardless of their actual age. Now I am not so sure that is the case, but at least I suspect it.

I doubt it's a question of age; it's about school policy. As long as you're enrolled as a student at that school/county/whatever, grades are reported to parents or otherwise legal guardians.

You yourself just used the term "legal guardians". But my parents won't be my legal guardians if I am no longer a minor. So thats why I was suspecting I was considered a minor despite being 18, on the basis of still being in high school.

Ok, so I mis-spoke If I'd known you were going to split hairs I would have said your PREVIOUS legal guardians. My point is this: you were still enrolled at that school/in that county or city or whatever, so they sent your grades to *them,* the same way they had for may years before. Sometimes things are done the way they are because it's simpler and more consistent. Does that make enough sense?

I can see what you are saying. Basically, since the majority of students in that school are under 18, that school has school-wide policy that allows them to discuss things with their parents. And that that policy also applies to people over 18, simply by the virtue of them being in that school.

I guess in this case I would say that school-wide policy clashes with country-wide policy. They could have easily avoided such a clash by making school-wide policy more specific. Instead of saying they can "discuss all students with their parents" they could have said they can "discuss students under 18 with their parents".

I mean, if I was the only one over 18, then I can see how they wouldn't have thought of it ahead of time. But the thing is that I wasn't. It is quite common for people in America to reach 18 during their last year in high school. So why didn't they accommodate this in their policy?

The other thing is that if school policy clashes with country policy, that makes school policy illegal, in which case the school can be sued. So how come nobody sued it?

I'm not a legal expert, but I know legal ages for different things vary all over the place. A lot of people, including me, think it's a far bigger deal that you could be drafted for war before you're allowed to have a legal drink.

But back to schools, grades, etc. There is something called the FERPA--Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act--that I'm really not very familiar with; after a super-duper quick glance, I've seen that an 18-year-old probably does have sole legal rights to certain school records. However, most high school students, regardless of age, have other things they're more concerned about. If their relationship with their parents is so bad that they don't want to tell them their grades, they are probably just doing all they can to get the heck out of that household.

As far as the schools are concerned: they also have more important things to do than track every single student's date and time of birth and then find out if the student will grant their parents' permission to see their grades, get it all in writing, etc., etc., etc. The mail probably still goes to the same address and some parents may still open their kids' mail, especially if it comes from school, so in the long run, a whole lot of people (18-year-old students included) are going to say, "So what?" (I'm assuming grades are sent on paper as well as via internet. Could be wrong.)

FTR, I was 18 years and 6 months old when I graduated high school. Since my parents were going to pay for my college education, you bet your butt I wasn't going to hide my grades from them!

I do see what you said from "common sense" perspective. But my impression of American laws is that, once something is the law, they would make absolutely certain it doesn't get broken, even if it is something unimportant. For example, at the airport they test every person if they are terrorist, even though common sense says some of them aren't (would you really think that 70 year old lady is a terrorist?) Or at a bar they ask everyone to show their ID even though common sense says they are clearly over 21. Because, out of thousands of people, maybe there will be a terrorist who doesn't look like a terrorist or a 19 year old that looks 40. If you take a very large number of people then anything is possible, and they are trying to rule out the situation of things being fine 999 times and then going wrong that 1 time.

But then by the same logic, even if 999 times it won't matter that they violate FERPA, but that 1 time it does matter, they should do all they can to prevent that 1 time. At least thats how American system seems to be set up. Unless, of course, they see 18 year olds as still minors, which is what I suspect.

The other question to ask is what about other school policies that are related to kids being minors. One example is that kids have to be in school from this particular hour to that particular hour. This has nothing to do with how many classes they need to graduate. This is strictly about the fact that adults have to know where the kids are if they are minors. Now, what about 18 year old high school students? Would they be allowed to get outside of school campus in the middle of the day, if they have enough credits to graduate? If the answer is no, then this is yet another example when they are treated as if they are minors despite being 18.



They could have simply had computer do it for them. In particular, when a student starts high school, they enter their birthday on the computer. Then computer has that information for years and years to come, and notifies all the teachers once the student is 18.

In fact sending grades home is something that is most likely done by a machine too. So they can simply program the machine that it stops sending grades home the moment the student reaches 18. For the student that would be no problem: they can still find out their grades either by calling a certain phone number (as was done in the universities in the past) or by going to a certain website (as is done nowdays). But at the same time it would protect their privacy.

As far as having students put a signature and so forth, it can be dealt with as follows. The only time a student has to do anything is when they "actively want" their parents to talk to their teachers. Unless they are "actively wanting" it, the default assumption would be that the teachers can't talk to parents if they are 18. And as far as "actively wanting" said conversation, the student can sign their permission when and if they want it. At least thats how its done at the university.



As far as today, they could just forget mail and do it by internet, problem solved.

But then in my case I was 18 back in 1998 and back then interenet wasn't used as widely. However there were other ways of doing it. For example when I wanted to access my university records I would call a certain phone number. So a high school could have set up something similar.



Thats really cool: I was also 18 years and 6 months when I graduated. When is your birthday? Mine is December 9.



Actually it is not as obvious as you think. My mom was regularly paying my credit card way into my adulthood (including when I was in my 30-s). At some point when the debt was unusually high she kept insisting I show her the transaction history. I refused, no matter how many times she insisted I do. And there was really nothing she could do about it because its my private history. If she wants to pay my card (which she continued to do regardless) thats her decision, but that doesn't change the fact that banks aren't allowed to disclose to her my transaction history.

That's really lame and selfish, and manipulative.

This comment is misleading; it appears as if I said that my mom was paying my credit card, and so on. Those are QFT's words about their own experiences--NOT MINE!! I never said such things, I never did such things, and I never would.

I don’t believe it was meant to have Kim say those words.

It might be a glitch in the program at WP. I’ve seen this sort of thing before done without evil intent.

It wasn't my "doing" either since I never *asked* my mom to pay my credit card, she *decided* to do that all on her own.

I guess the part that *is* my doing is that

a) I kept spending too much money

b) I didn't stop my mom from paying the card

By the way she no longer does it. After living with her for a year during covid while at the same time still getting TA salary, that was more than enough to pay off my own credit card.

Now the other thing I have to pay off is student loan. And this I am paying on my own. Not because of any concern for my mom but rather because I don't want her to know I have this loan to begin with -- she would kill me if she finds out.