How do you decide if someone is right for you?

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cyberdad
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21 Sep 2024, 6:44 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

I wasn't greedy and eventually settled for a nice person who as a bonus was also pretty.

When you say “settled” do you mean you weren’t particularly in love with her at the start?

How well did you know her?

Also what did she think of you?

Not judging, just curious.

No, I was more emotionally mature, had I given in to lust I would as a 30 something Australian male married a 19 year old "hot" date (would have been easy). Instead I wanted somebody who embodied as much good qualities as possible who was most importantly compatible. My future wife was university educated, spoke excellent English and pleasant and also nice looking (so I figured within 5 minutes she could be the one). As we spent time I realised I lucked out. Love starts as potential and blossoms with time (at least for me).

IsabellaLinton
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21 Sep 2024, 6:52 pm

That’s great. I’m glad you found her and things worked out well.

I just wasn’t sure what you meant when you said you settled for her.

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cyberdad
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21 Sep 2024, 7:15 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

I just wasn’t sure what you meant when you said you settled for her.

Probably should have used "decided" rather than settled.

IsabellaLinton
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21 Sep 2024, 7:17 pm

Have you ever asked how she knew you were right for her?

Again just curious.

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cyberdad
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21 Sep 2024, 7:33 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

Have you ever asked how she knew you were right for her?

Again just curious.

Actually we never discussed this, it all happened fairly organically. Mutual respect/understanding I guess. In Indian culture its not necessary to discuss things like "love" or "romance". My wife's capacity to show love without needing to say it is what I (personally) love about her.

blitzkrieg
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21 Sep 2024, 7:56 pm

For some reason I had previously thought you were form the US, cyberdad. But you are originally an aussie?!

I don't blame you for looking further afield overseas with regards to dating, if the domestic women weren't appreciative of you.

cyberdad
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21 Sep 2024, 8:21 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:

I don't blame you for looking further afield overseas with regards to dating, if the domestic women weren't appreciative of you.

Some might say I had no choice :lol: