How to talk to Asian girls?

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^ a sale.... wtf?

The Vietnamese bride business in Singapore is apparently going through some tough times.

http://news.asiaone.com/News/The%2BNew% ... 602/2.html

Oh, the poor guy.


/sarcasm

In India dating is considered taboo.
In larger cities people do date but thats only in higher income groups
Middle class only indulge in arranged marriage
Lower middle class and rural areas girls are not allowed to talk with guys
neither mingle with them. Most of them cover their heads and whole day
they remain covered

I myself had a arranged marriage and was not allowed to talk with guys

You can strike a conversation with Indian girl but asking for a date etc
would probably be returned with a slap, they may go on a date only after knowing you too well.

I'm guessing that this would be the same in Sri Lanka (mentioned above), and also weighs upon the ACCESSIBILITY issue (mentioned above) for foreign men who would like to get acquainted with local chicks.

I'm a software engineer, so I've met a lot of people from India. Most of the marriages were either arranged or heavily facilitated by parents. From what I've seen, most of the marriages are fairly happy and solid. However, sometimes they aren't. How has the arranged marriage paradigm work for you?

it has worked well for me. for one I'm surely aspie with loads of social and interpersonal issues.
i met my husband once before marriage was fixed. he had come home and in front of relatives i spoke to him
after that marriage was fixed though i didn't like him and his relatives but was pressurized to marry him
they were very extrovert and social people.
i thought i would be a misfit there. and actually I'm a misfit in their family
they never accepted me. but my husband is ok with me.
he adjusted well. he cares for me.
but there is lack of communication.
he is too engrossed in T.V, football and cricket matches, WWF and news channel
i have to keep asking him something 2-3 times and then if lucky he would reply
he barely takes interest in taking me out. Romance hardly exist it was there for 2 years of marriage
we have a 9year old child.
everything is fine. i don't think i could cope with dating and love marriage scenario
considering my conservative upbringing and lack of social skills
i did have a serious crush 2-3 years back while i was married
because i got attention from someone.
i seek attention, since i never got it from my parents, siblings or relatives
i do crave for love, attention and patient hearing

Very interesting. In your culture, there seems to be a fundamental respect for marriage and you have a concept of a "good husband" and a "good wife." In the western world, marriage and marital roles have lost definition and general meaning. From what you describe, you have benefited from the traditions of your culture. While things aren't optimal, I'm glad you are getting along okay. I was in what I call an "unbonded" relationship with my parents -- I suspect the same situation in your case.

Same here, there's such two worlds in many countries of the Middle East like Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon and also countries in northern Africa (Morocco, Tunisia...etc).

In Beirut and in other major cities, dating happens a lot but it's also considered taboo for older generations. Same in Egypt, where dating IS common among the non-Islamist part of their community.

In rural areas (especially the Muslim rural areas), arranged and semi-arranged marriages still occur: by semi-arranged I mean when parents of both see there's a possibility of a successful match, let the two know each other (within limits and monitoring) before making anything official but they still have choice of rejecting, it' s the most common scenario in traditional families, cousin marriages are also very common among clans. By arranged, I mean when the marriage is totally enforced on the girl, it's much less common but I heard it happening and usually things end up miserably.

Also, I am not sure if this is common in India, but sometimes the guy/girl's mother (rarely the father) actively seeks a suitable wife for her already adult son LOL - the suitor might be anyone she knows: a friend's daughter, a young coworker, a neighbor or even a girl she just exchanged little chat in the bus or supermarket . It is traditionally believed that the mother knows what's the best match for her son; in many cases the mother approaches the girl and bluntly asks her if she's taken, if not then she invites her and introduces her to her son. lol

The daughter's mother sometimes does the same but more subtly, she would either probe for a suitor through her connections and friends or, if there's a specific suitor in her mind, she would try to make some plan to make him meets her daughter, it might an invitation for a dinner to his family or something like that.

It may be worth noting that, while America does have a lot of people who live below its poverty line, people who are poor in parts of Asia (and elsewhere) are REALLY poor.

Certainly, minimum wage jobs in America suck. But, someone with a minimum-wage McJob in America earns more in one hour than a skilled craftsman makes in an entire day in the Philippines. I know of some Filipino medical doctors who gave up their professions in the Philippines to become nurses in the USA--the pay is that much higher.

A lot of poor people in both Asia and America like their liquor and cigarettes. In Asia, a man may spend 1/3 of his income just to sully his lungs with cigarettes. Usually, women don't smoke or drink liquor, unless they are prostitutes, as it is considered unfeminine. In America, the poor stuff themselves with pizza, hotdogs, and other cheap highly-processed low-nutrient foods. In Asia, poor people generally feed their kids fresh vegetables and fish, which is generally healthier than the poor American diet, so long as the waterways from which the fish are taken aren't too polluted. Obesity is rampant among America's poor, but unusual among Asia's poor.

Asians generally find fair skin, round eyes and long noses to be attractive--there is a big market for skin-whitening products, and eyelid and nose surgery. We have the advantage of having been born with those features. Biracial people very much dominate the entertainment industry in the Philippines. Hence, there are quite a lot of Filipina chicks who would love to marry a foreign man and have mestizo children.

I was in India last summer. To be honest, I would feel horrible if I had to live in India for the rest of my life. You can barely go over street alone if you are a woman. A friend of mine got squeezed in her butt twice when we were there.

What's life like for you in India?

I live in Silicon valley there are Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Filipina, Thai, and Indian women everywhere!We also have arab women too. The Indian women wear beutifully colorful dresses after a short while moving out here I get used to the diversity. Very friendly people I get comments on how beautiful my eyes are and I had an Indian woman ask me if she could stroke my hair I thought that was odd so I let her and she said it was smooth. I dunno how to really approach Asian women perse they usually approach me I just talk to them and be nice to them like any other person. My advice is move to an area with a large Asian population dont fixate on them let them do the approaching and just be nice to them and youll be fine.Hope my info helps Im not a super expert or anything it just happens.

I thought that women went to Italy for that.

they approach you? they all just give me the lazy eye.

Well i believe that marriage kills the excitement, romance and love.

After couple of years of marriage the thrill is gone. But what remains is mutual love, respect, support and admiration.

In west once the thrill is gone they move onto another person. You may note that in cases of celebrity marriages
like J.Lo she as had 3 marriages and after couple of years she dumps her husband and moves onto a younger guy
or britney spears or demi moore. What they are chasing is the excitement in bed or the cushy romance.

In India marriage means a life partner someone who will pay for your expenses, be there for you in old age and till the end
and someone who will take care of the children.

My husband as been good and kind with me, unlike in many rural households the husbands drink daily and beat up their wives
which was the case with my parents also.

Yes its correct. The boys mother seeks a bride for her son. In villages the match is found through word of mouth. Since villages everyone knows each other. But in cities the bride is found only through marriage bureau, middlemen, matrimonial website and matrimonial columns in newspapers.

SInce in india there is joint family system the parents of groom selects the girl because the girl should be adjustable. SHe should be able to handle the temperaments of the people in the house. Each household will have 4-5 children. So the girl coming in will have a brother in law, sister in law, mother and father in law, grandparents, brother in laws children to adjust and accomodate with.

Its not easy to adjust with so many people. usually the girl merely ends up as a servant doing all the chores around the house. Right from cooking, cleaning, taking care of husbands needs, in-laws needs.

And if that is not enough the girls parents have to provide a hefty amount of money as dowry to get her married. The dowry could be house, car, jewellery, cash.

There is also pressure to bear a male child and continue with the family lineage. Overall marriage is a great pressure in indian households. There are many divorces in cities