Do the majority of guys with A.S. never get a girlfriend?

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Yes, I had that problem. Based a couple of short term flings on that criteria. Looking back on it, I got out of those relationship possibilities because I really didn't find the women attractive. For a long time I figured if I did get married it would be to someone I just had to "settle for." When you think of yourself as unattractive and don't seem to attract many people, you pretty much figure I have to go with the ones who will take me.

And why is that a problem? it's logical, why wasting time by going after a girl not attracted to me?

I think this is true for most men, not just AS men.

physically attracted to them, similar hobbies, interests, nice, friendly, supportive of me.

so I should lie? and when i can't afford to pay for their expensive dinner or ticket. and when it comes out I was lying and don't make good money? why would I waste my time and what little money I have on a woman who is going to see me as worthless when the truth comes out. they ask in the 1st or 2nd message. or first date. its very important to them so some stupid reason. tired of having to hide who I am and live in fear of being myself.

car will come up right away when you say you can't pick them up for the date. or that you can't go out late at night due to bus not running.

at least hiding my hobbies is actually doable. hiding your low income or no job and crappy car or no car is impossible unless you keep solely to only talking online and never meeting in person.

sounds like you're after a person rather than a data point or business transaction. same here.
though for me I add playfulness.

don't think a woman should even need to know what or if a guy works for a living. until they are considering living together or marriage it shouldn't concern her. she should care more about find a good guy thats compatible with her interest/personality. money should be secondary. unfortunately its money first then try to find a compatible person or if not just settle for money. perhaps why theres so many divorced single mothers under 25. most people don't even get married til 28 or later. yet so many 18-25 year old divorced single mothers. and where are the dads. guess the whole he was financially stable didn't work out so well for them.

You should not have to lie. For first dates from websites, you can invite women for a short and inexpensive date at a coffee shop.

With creativity, you can plan dates that are fun and inexpensive. Free outdoor concerts, pay what you can nights at a theater.



True. But not an insurmountable obstacle. You could invite women on daytime dates or rent or borrow a car.



I disagree. I enjoy my job and spend 50+ hours per week at work and sometimes travel for work. Many of my friends work in my field, as does my former boyfriend and I enjoy discussing work-related topics. It is important to me to find a man who shares my interests or is equally passionate about his own. Not discussing work at all makes that all but impossible.

Money should be secondary but how a person manages their resources, irrespective of how much or little money they have, can be very important. A person who lives beyond their means is likely to be reckless in other ways.

The divorce rate for university-educated adults who marry before reproducing is negligible.

Yeah I can't afford much of anything which is why I don't go out that and I don't enjoy bars, theaters or clubs. I also prefer to not waste money. so buying objects that will last and provide more benefit are better way to spend money.
I don't drink coffee. so coffee place is a no go. I prefer walks in park.

no one to borrow a car from and renting a car for a date would be crazy expensive. if I can't afford a date paying $50 -80 dollars for a rental car is insane.

I like hearing about peoples day at work. you don't need to both be working. to talk about work. most people work different jobs and still talk about work. if the wife is a teacher and husband a firefighter their work has nothing in common yet they still talk about it with each other. I don't need a job to listen about anothers work day. not that I 'd share my work day anyways.

I too want shared interest with a SO. not sure what being passionate about interest relates to having a good paying job or needing to know work info though.

knowing a guy makes 2k a month doesn't let you know how he manages his resources. none of the women ask about managing resources or ask if the guy can provide for himself, its all about how much he makes and what job he has. this is asked way before any attempt to ask about interests or hobbies or personality traits.

it'd be like asking what personality a person has and them saying I'm a janitor. what does a job have to do with personality. most people work jobs they hate or just put up with. not all janitors are the same etc. funny how guys ask about interest, women ask about job.

what now o.O what does university educated have to do with anything.

I understand your logic, and on the surface it is sound.

It's the difference between being attracted to someone because they possess qualities one finds attractive in a prospective mate and finding someone attractive because they display an attraction to you. The former has the potential to grow into a mutually beneficial relationship based on mutual trust, love, and respect/admiration where both parties support each other and create a life together. The latter has no such foundation upon which to base a relationship, which is perfect if both parties are not interested in anything outside of a purely sexual, short-term dynamic.

Should, however, the AS individual be attracted to someone unknowingly because the other individual displays an attraction to him/her and the other individual wishes to pursue a pair-bonded relationship, therein lies the potential for a disastrous situation, especially if the other person has some serious issues of their own, e.g. Borderline Personality Disorder. What happens in two to twenty-four months when Oxytocin, Phenylethylamine, and Dopamine levels balance back out and the romance phase of the relationship comes to a close in that scenario? Potentially the AS partner finds that their attraction has waned and finds him or herself in a relationship in which they don't want to be and it spirals downward from there.

If all forms of autism were (was?) a major impediment to having children, we would not exist.

^The females can still pass on the genes.

This is exactly what I was thinking as well. I had a couple of short term relationships that were based on the fact that the girl was attracted to me, and that was about it. That is the main reason they were short term. I didn't put much into the relationship because I really didn't find them attractive. Yes, I probably could have married one of the women, but I am pretty sure we would have eventually ended up in divorce court, or if I was still in it, I probably wouldn't be very happy.

Believe it or not there's people out there that don't care about that sort of thing.

The first real girlfriend I had occurred when I was in graduate school. In other words, I had no money. I didn't have a car, and didn't even have a driver's license at that time (it had been revoked for repeated driving under the influence occurrences). Obviously these things didn't matter to her because we were together for 18 months or so. We ended up breaking up after I graduated, got a job, and a car.

I've been in situations where I went out with girls because they were attracted to me, rather than vice versa necessarily.

It was good that you got out of that relationship, Professor John. Otherwise, she might have bought you down to her "level." She might have kept you getting DUIs, even, and remaining a (possible) alcoholic.

When you graduated, got the job, car, etc, it seemed to have posed a threat to her.

but many come from parents who don't have it. not like there's some autistic tree going back to the first humans. they don't even know how autism happen. so anyone can have a autistic child. so even if tomorrow they banned all autistics from having kids it wouldn't stop more being born. its also possible two autistics won't have an autistic child.



and most of them are already with the millions of guys who are like me. sadly there's like 100 men like me to 10 women who don't care. most people work crappy paying jobs.

was this in your mid 20's or something?