Oh girls have it so much worse....

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I'm glad somebody FINALLY came out with something like this. Girls have it so bad, did we mention what we have to go through every month? Plus we have more to cover up about ourselves.

Guys; you think you're tough? Have you ever experienced menstruation? No? Childbirth then???
It is said that when a woman goes through childbirth, the level of pain goes past the average human pain threshold.

Who says girls have it easier????

If you bond quickly and strongly without sex, then you don't need sex for bonding, and thus have no problem if it takes a month or a year before sex.

what behavior? have i said being controling is ok? theres abusive traits and thers traits that can lead to abusive traits but those base traits by themselves aren't abusive and are more likely to not lead to abusive traits. so deeming anyone with those as best to avoid is where I take offense.

I'm not accepting that theory, that's not the same as trivializing what you went through.
when you say people who act like ____ is a red flag for abuse and should/will be avoided and I have ______ traits thatn why wouldn't I take it personal. you can't say something about a group of people then get upset when one of them takes offense.
this isn't about your stories. this about the post you made saying such people are red flags to be avoided.

I don't put people down. that would be counteractive to making them happy. though if their family hates me I don't want to be expected to socialize with them and I would be worried they slowly turn her against and away from me. but I wouldn't try to cut her off I guess I'd just have to accept it'll be over and plan accordly. I feel better by being around people and making others happy.

yes but again jealous doesn't necessary lead to those. you can be jealous in healthy ways. you can also be jealous and never show it. though its not really being jealous as that is of something else has. its about not wanting to lose somone you have. I could be jealous of my friends wife, but I can't be of my own. so its another word I can't remember but often people call it jealous.

thats different as both people are ok with it and let each other know who they doing it with. at least I would hope so.

isn't setting boundaries just another word for telling someone what they can and can't do? you set boundaries for kids and employees. ie people under you.
all that is very common with a lot women in relationships. deciding who and when the bf can hang out with. this with regards to male friends as female friends seem to be a instant no go with a lot gfs. I've been told growing up by female family and by other women I met to expect this and just accept it. suppose not having many friends will make thise easier.

where did i assume? I'm just saying cheating is very common in this modern word so being unsure shouldn't be bad. my brothers wife is cheating on him yet he refuses to believe anyone including her about it. you need to be not 100% blindly trusting there has to be a balance or if they do cheat they'll do it over and over and keep getting away with walking all over you.

I use to be fully trusting but women in the past have ruined that and perhaps its for the best as I don't want to end up like my brother stuck in a onsided abusive relationship. I still easily trust but I now have a bit of trust issue or whatever its called where you dont' blindly trust. my ful trust now has to be earned with loyalty rather then just pretending disillusioned that everyone is as loyal as me without proof. though I say this as not being in a relationship. I still worry I'll just blindly trust a woman I fall in love with this leaves me open to more abuse.

yes I see women do that a lot in relationships. my brothers wife is same in that matter to your brothers gf, he can't go out anywhere without her but she leaves him alone to go do stuff all the time. we never see him because she won't come over here or let us go there.

my friends gf was the same way. along with some other friends gfs/wife. this falls under happy wife happy life, ie the woman is controlling and gets whatever she wants. so if a guy wants to go hang out with me and she says no and threatens punishment , well goes without saying we didn't hang out.

from what I understand straw man is accusing you of saying something you didn't . how is me adding to the subject a straw man. sexting is a very easy way to cheat in that your spouse will less likely catch on. heck you could sext with a another person while cuddling with your spouse. we have free speech so I am allowed to add other stuff to the conversation.

thats my future though not to my parent but to a female friend. if i talk to my partner about stuff she did to upset me I'll be seen as week and lacking confidence. men must be emotionless. so I have female friends to talk to about that stuff and what I can do. so in reality I'll always be close to those female friends then any gf I might have, but its their own doing. I'd much rather have that closeness with a gf.

if those are signs of abuse then its abuse men are expected to just accept and take.

sorry he did that to you. I would try to listen to her feelings and comfort her. though I couldn't promise we never fight aobut some things she shared. just as me and my friends fight over some shared feelings. I would try not to though.

that's not the same as being emotionally closer to another person of the same sex as you then they are to you. from what I've seen most women would take that as meaning the other woman is better then them.

yes. I had a lady like that in middle school she was physically abusive and controlling and to me we were just friends. then i had a abusive friend live with and off me for a year and was verbally abusive most of the time. he did lot of the saying negitive things your ex did.
I hate silent treatment, I so very much fear it. I don't want to be in a relationship where I fear my SO. so I do hope if I get a gf she'll promise to never do it.

only thing that will sort it out is a gf who sticks around and deosnt' abandon me. its an issue from negitive events people abandoing you that can only be fixed by experiencing postie events people not abandoning you.honestly everyone has issues expecing them to all be worked out before a relationship would mean that 90% of peolple would never get into one. imagine if you had to completely get rid of your issues before getting into one. its impossible. instead like people do with other issues: aspies, anxiety, ocd, depression, disabilities, etc is to accept and work with people. it just means I'll be unsure if they going to stick around for the first month or so maybe a bit longer.

yeah but bieng clingy isn't a busive behavior you even said that after a few months they stop being clingy as they were just faking what people want to get the person in then allow their abusive real self to come out. but if you avoid all loving , kind, and attached people you're never get to be in love. not the same about if someone talks about controlling what their spouse can and can't do. or talks about hitting their souse. I would agree on calling or saying that abusive.

but if you never open yourself to seeing they might be flriting you're never know they'll cheating. there has to be a middle ground. not all people who accuse soemoene of flirting is abusive though thats my point. they could really be fliritng and cheating if we just label anyone who accues people of doing those things as abusers it lets cheaters get away scott free. its about about situation by situation. you can't blanket label anyone.

I know first hand all about feeling crazy and guilty for something I didn't do then second guessing myself and wondering if I did wrong even though part of me knows I didn't but it starts spiraling into a internal battle. then i start questioning everything and anything I did or do. like idk being called clingy when I'm not or i don't think I am then also being called too distant. now I don't know what to do or what is right or wrong. I feel horrible

because you love them and don't think like as they said that anyone else but them will ever love you and if you leave them you're be alone for the rest of your life. they also get you doubting yourself, what if your'e wrong but then you saw her cheating, but she says it wasn't. but others said its cheating but shes your spouse you're suppose to believe her over anyone else and be loyal. its a very confusing thing. leaving isnt easy.

no it was a compirson. again a straw man would be me saying you said that. I'm comparing saying someone is abusive based off of one or a few signs is the same as someone thinking their so has aspergers based off one or a few signs.

then the symptom is them putting you or others down, not jealously.
but listing it as a red flag means avoiding anyone with those. life is full of risks. you date a low self esteem guy yeah he might turn out to be abusive or he might turn out to be a great wonderful guy who is hte love of your life. but if you just avoid low self esteem people you're never meet him. which is why despite everything I've seen about women I still want to date them and take the risk that they'll hurt me and abuse me, otherwise. I'll never meet a girl who won't do those things. two of the women I dealt with were liars. this makes me less trusting of people and women but I still have to go in trusting people just remain watchful and more open to what family say about the people. they tried to tell me about the women but I was like no she wouldn't do that. but they were right about those two. odds are 90% that I'll end up with another liar and abusive woman. but theirs still the 10%. heck theres only a 2% chance Ill ever get a gf anyways yet I still try.
though I do think I'll have to settle for an abusive mate, perhaps an emotional abusive one would be ok. I don't think i should stay with physically abusive one though.

its not your experiences. i just wish you'd say me ex was _____
rather then avoid people that have these traits ______- while quite a large group of normal nice people also have those traits legit and not just faking them to get a girl.

from what I understand straw man is accusing you of saying something you didn't . how is me adding to the subject a straw man.

Plus we have more to cover up about ourselves.

It would help if you quoted my posts because it was hard to figure out what you were responding too and I am sorry again and I see we had a misunderstanding and we are on the same page. I could relate to what you wrote about your experience with abuse.

Also emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse but it's easy to say what you would rather have. My husband would rather be bullied and teased as a child than be ignored and I think the opposite because I was never ignored. I have seen child abuse victims say they wish they were physically abused than psychologically/verbally/mentally. I realize verbal abuse is just as bad as physical and emotional abuse can leave as much damage to the psychical victim IMO.

Also:



I thought you were accusing me and I got offended because I am not into sexting or going out with other men because I am married. Sure I will go to autism groups, I will go to a munch and one time I went to a nude beach munch and I was the only one who showed up so it was just me and the guy alone and no it was not a date. We didn't hit on each other or kiss or do any sex, we just talked and walked around on the beach and it was nothing. Just two friends. You just basically changed the subject so I got confused and thought you were accusing me of cheating and doing sexting and stuff and I was like "WTF man" so usually when people do that to me, I just stop talking to them because I refuse to discuss or argue over anything I didn't even say. It saves me the energy and keeps me from getting too upset because I don't take accusations well so I pick my battles. But hey now you know how to kill a discussion with me.

I don't recall even advising anybody to avoid your "type" of person.

I think you might be confusing me with someone else.

This sentence is not making sense to me. It seems to assume that the only problem with not having sex with your partner for 6 months would be lack of bonding. There are other reasons people want to have sex with their partner, so it could definitely still be a problem to go without sex for the first 6 months even if you have bonded with them in other ways.

was trying to avoid creating super long quote tunnels that and I was too sad to try to spend time haing to snip around and make it like you did. unless there's a quicker way.

hugs

I've had both, so if i have to chose one I'd pick emotional/verbal. at least its physically painful. though its likely if they one their the other. I was also bullied as a kid. then in high school I was almost invisible ecept a few counts of bullying. but elementary - middle school were terrible. so I guess I've pretty much always been abused. perhaps because I'm submissive or perhaps that along with being raised by all women made me submissive. or maybe i just deserved it.

i don't tend to accuse people without beleiving i have some proof to support it. i was just comparing it as to why its not allways black in white when it comes to accusing people of cheating. my brothers wife does a lot of sexting on a phone that he pays for well he pays for everything.

wish i was able to do that but stuff gets to me. I'm too emotional and thin skinned. its why my friend emotional and verbally abused me he said wanted to make me tough. yet all it did is make me withdraw and feel worse.

I'm too afraid to go to a munch. the whole bunch of strangers mixed with something I'm highly embarrassed by make it impossible.

Considering that men and women have completely different roles in the reproductive process, and are raised in different worlds with different frames of reference, I've always found the, "Who has it easier?" question to be nonsensical.

Additionally, as someone who has lived through social situations as both a man and a woman, I can assert that both have significant drawbacks.....

Considering that men and women have completely different roles in the reproductive process, and are raised in different worlds with different frames of reference, I've always found the, "Who has it easier?" question to be nonsensical.

Additionally, as someone who has lived through social situations as both a man and a woman, I can assert that both have significant drawbacks.....

Another good reason to have a six month rule. A 19 year old has to be on the sex offender list for the next 25 years and he is on probation for five years and he cannot have internet access or a smart phone so there went his computer career he was going to college for and he has other restrictions. How did this all happen? He met a 17 year old on a dating site and they met up and had sex in a park and it turned out she was 14 and she had lied about her age. She and her parents did testify in court and they didn't wish t press charges but the judge didn't care. Yes wait six months so you get to know the person. That should be plenty of time. Plenty of time to meet their parents or their brothers and sisters, see their house, etc.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/19-year-spend- ... d=32783206