Serious issues with L&D Forum

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A complete waste of time asking that. Apart from the most basic and obvious advice (be polite, shower regularly, etc.) there is no answer because women are individuals with individual tastes. What attracts one woman repels another.

This is insanity.

In other word, you are saying that single people shouldn't post here.

Crushes and dealing with lack of love matters are also related to love and dating realm.

That's like saying that only those who work in politics or religions should post in PPR.

Alex, please don't listen to this insanity.

Do what you think is best.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 08 May 2016, 9:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

Of course Alex will do what he thinks is best; but at least he's getting input from us members. I only hope that he actually reads some of them.

You are suggesting to discriminate against single people, and not allow them to post here.

This should not be allowed.

I am sure alex won't accept it either.

That is a massive illogical jump.
Venting and ranting is most destructive to the people indulging in it. Sorry, kraftie, I have to disagree with you. It legitimizes illogical feelings and ends up making the person feel worse.

Ok, someone said a generalized advice is sexism because each person is individual...etc

Kirsten, a user who wrote articles on the home page of wp, in her own words:

To me this is a generalization, no?

Should alex ban his friend now?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 08 May 2016, 10:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

I understand English well.

This means no singles and dateless people.

alex's description of this subforum:

Whether you're a smooth-talking Adonis or a lonely heart, this forum can be used for discussing relationships and romance.


So it's not only for people in relationships, and it's not only for taking advice.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 08 May 2016, 1:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.

androbot, please... you are one pf the people that I have decided to not interact with anymore.

Please I don't want to talk you.

Certain types of people should NOT be restricted from this board, though certain types of conversation should.
Some of us struggle for acceptance even in here, which as sly rightly pointed out is meant to be a place people on the spectrum should feel comfortable (though these were not his exact words).

Gender politics, non-advice in advice threads, and vents about others could do with being redirected to other forums.

It's one of my favorite anime series

Stop digging holes in my yard

I don't think this forum should only be open to people in love with someone. People like sly has in the past who phase things bad or get emotional simply need a clear explanation.

I hope sly doesn't mind my sharing this. Once we both spoke about my post in the women's forum we made up and apologised to each other for misunderstanding. Once I explained my post was to try and understand his experiences and find put what other women were thinking sly understood that I wasn't trying to be horrible and disregard his experiences.

Looking at it now I realised I should not have reacted so emotionally and just spoken to sly about it. Likewise if sly had asked me about it I could have explained. Love and dating is a very emotional topic so maybe we could all agree to try and act less impulsively when we post. I know I need to work on it

Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to share my view

If so rename it relationships and unhappy about being in them.
People happy in relationships don't post on here anymore.

They'd be swapping out unhappily single people to unhappy relationship people. Currently both posts. Of its not a single person posting it's usually a woman posting s out how horrible her aspie guy is and what can she do to fix him.

Wait, so I'm not allowed to post in here anymore? What about people who are neither but still want advise on how to date or meet people?

If a post or thread is sexist than it should be removed no matter where it is. It is in the forum guidelines.

The point of moving even the harmless rants is so someone isn't left trying to decide if their new topic belongs here or there. Someone might find it clean and unoffensive, someone might take issue with it. Really though, if you are ranting, what is the point? What are you trying to get out of it? Like Kraftie said, sometimes people just need to let the emotions out and get some positive support. That is what the Haven is for. Sometimes people are looking to start a debate. Or they are asking a question that is most definitely going to lead to a debate. That is what PPR is for.

Alex asked for suggestions on how to create a more mellow atmosphere in this subforum. The easiest solution to Alex's problem would be to move the topics that create a different atmosphere. There are certain kinds of topics that bring about a more heated debate. Once things heat up, calm, rational conversations can devolve into vitriol fueled debates where people take sides and nothing gets resolved. It seems to happen on this subforum more than most of the others.

The PPR and Haven guidelines spell all of this out. PPR is for debating and has less strict rules. It literally says, "The same thread that can happily exist in PPR would not be allowed to exist in the Random forum for example. Hot topics of debate belong in PPR". The Haven is for people in distress looking for help and support. Not to debate. The other subforums are mostly for "sharing information, mutual support, general chit-chat and socialising".

So really, this should already be the case. I haven't seen any good arguments against it either. There might be fewer posts in L&D. So what? Maybe people will see a lack of activity and decide not to post, which would exacerbate the problem. However, there's also a chance that people will feel more encouraged to post if they know the topic is less likely to turn into a heated debate. Even if there are less posts, that would likely just mean more posts in other places.

I think single people should be allowed to post, as long as they are asking specific questions about a real person or persons in whom they're interested. For example, asking how to get a specific woman's attention is fine, or asking what to do with a specific guy on a date. Posts that just say "what do men want" or "why don't women like me" are beyond useless. And yes, they are also sexist, because the underlying assumption is that all men or women are interchangeable and stereotyped.