Still haven't found a girlfriend

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I'd say might be worth going to a dermatologist then, they may be able to help...some people have worse cases of acne that need prescription treatment not just over-the counter products.

Also I didn't imply you would want to look like an idiot. I was saying you should look at pictures of hairstyles and find one you like, and go to the hair place and show them that and have them cut your hair in that fashion. In your pictures it looks like a bowl cut like if they stuck a bowl on your head and cut around it...it doesn't look like a nice smart hair-cut.

Well people have given you advice about how to gain a more attractive appearance and that sending depressive messages to girls isn't a good way to get them interested. Also self hate is not attractive, so in order to have the opportunity to take a girl out you have to develop some satisfaction with yourself.

Surely you have some interests and activities you enjoy?...I'd imagine focusing on that kind of stuff could induce some feelings of happiness. If you're just moping around and engulfing yourself in negative feelings thats not going to help your chances...someone isn't going to want to be with someone who is totally dependent on them for emotional well-being.

This. Right here. All of this. Excellent example. THIS is what I mean.

You need to be happy with.. YOU! Your happiness should never ever be dependent on another human being, or a place, or a material object.. or a n y t h i n g but your own self and your own thoughts. Convincing yourself that your own happiness is co-dependant on getting a girlfriend is a fallacy.

Thoughts dictate emotions, emotions dictate actions etc. The ONLY thing that can possibly make you (or anyone) feel happy are your own thoughts. If your thoughts are depressive, negative, or pessimistic you're not going to feel good. Period. If you learn all of these things, and then do all of the things that make yourself a healthier happier you that's perfectly content with himself THEN you will be happy w/o wanting or needing anyone or anything. THEN you will be ready to add someone else into your life that you can share your happiness with & they theirs with you in a mutually beneficial positively reciprocal way.

I have read several books about happiness and feeling good and positive thinking etc and they all preach very similar things because they're all true.

Whether getting a girlfriend or buying a car, it's nice to reach a goal, but reaching that goal doesn't flip a switch and change someone from being miserable to happy. That's not how life works. If you met a girl right now in this instant, chances are you might feel temporarily better due to neurotransmitters & hormones working their biochemical magic, but in general you'd still be depressed and unhappy and things likely wouldn't go so great. But if you had a mind that was at peace with itself, were present and focused thinking about what you're doing in the present moment vs. depressive thoughts about the past or anxious thoughts about the future, chances are that you'd already be happy and then when you met a girl you got along with things would click along just fine as you developed a relationship together.

Too many people fool themselves with BS carrot & stick thoughts about happiness... "if I just get that thing then I'll be happy!" No. The way to be happy is to be happy Now regardless of whether you have "that thing," or not, as one's happiness depends only on their own thoughts & is not co-dependant on any other thing. Period.

If i met a girl right now goldfish i would be the most happiest person on this planet right now. Even if it did not last i would have experienced all that my Stepbrother has, all that my stepsister has.

I would have been able to look after that special someone even if it was just a tiny bit. And it would make me more confident. I would also LOVE myself because i would be in the majority.

I would even be happy if i had even some friends that are girls because i have none. I never experienced what it was like to go to the prom, like i said i have NO ONE.

If i never find a girlfriend do you realize how lonely i would be, I would have to be 80 years old and spending Christmas alone and not with a family

As I pointed out: Temporarily happy, as it would not address the underlying reasons for your depression. Personally, when I was depressed (for years) I didn't WANT to be in a relationship because I felt like I didn't have anything positive to contribute. I wanted to be happy first so that I could make a good impression and then stay that way and make a positive contribution to someone's life. It's only in the last few years of being happy that I've even been open to the idea of dating someone because I've felt ready to do so.

Sure, those things are confidence boosters. But why not set yourself up for the best chance of success by working on yourself and your own happiness first and foremost?

I don't really have any friends that are girls aside from my mom, sister, friends wives, and God daughter. I never go hang out with girls. Then again, it wasn't my goal.

I went to our Grad Banquet (prom), but not with a date at all. I went with my high school best friend Mark + a couple we knew, so the 4 of us rented a limo and got dressed up and went downtown etc. It was a nice formal dinner and all that, most people danced (not me, too nervous/uncoordinated back then). It was decent. However, my twin brother didn't want to go at all so he simply didn't and I doubt he regrets it - he didn't want to go; way too much social anxiety I think, so he would not have enjoyed it. Just saying.. going to prom with a date isn't the be all and end all, some people don't even give two s**ts about it. Also, so you didn't go.. big deal. That's done and over with several years ago. Why bother dwelling on it now like that memory or regret has ANY bearing on your life RIGHT NOW in the Present Moment?? (Now is the only time we EVER really have. The past is just memories. The future is just anxiety. Focus on Now - that's the key to happiness.)

You say i have to be happy. How do i make myself happy.

I will show you a picture i have just taken now. I have just had a haircut, does it look better?

http://picpaste.com/WIN_20170108_19_17_ ... yvLy9e.jpg

Haircut looks fine! But I do still like that other pic you posted earlier where your hair is styled a bit more "up" in the front - the one where you're smiling.

It takes time, learning, and doing to make oneself happy - as has been my experience. For myself, I read several books about happiness and feeling good in order to learn about it from experts ranging from psychiatrists to motivational speakers. I put many of their recommendations into practice. I changed my diet to a nearly 100% medicinal diet for a couple of years + other natural medicine things + a lot of regular exercise. I made myself healthy from the inside out, which has eliminated my depression and anxiety as well as minimized my ASD symptoms so I can be happy, work, play, and live. If you're interested in the details of what I've done, feel free to shoot me a PM and we can chat about it.

I have an infinitely better perspective on everything. I appreciate everything. I'm grateful for everything. An attitude of gratitude goes an incredibly long way to being happy.

All of these things, though, boil down to changing one's thoughts so be positive vs. negative. Some change can happen via practice and intent, other things I found where actually influenced by chemicals - by things I was eating etc, so, eating different things changed my digestive, body, and brain chemistry, which in turn changed my thoughts. Food IS medicine and you are what you eat, so, by fuelling yourself with the things that make you healthy you also become happier, almost as one might take a pharmaceutical antidepressant drug.

It's been a long and challenging process, but it's been worth every moment & every ounce of energy and every dollar spent as I've been a pretty happy guy for the last few years and will be for the rest of my life - which could be another 60 years or so. I was in such a terrible state that I was willing to do ANYTHING it took for as long as it took, so the amount of reading, learning, doing, cooking, exercising etc did not matter. I'd do it - and I did - and I'd do it all over again, too.

You say Goldfish you go jogging sometimes.

I live near a city called Chester which has a wall, perhaps i could have a jog around there, lol what a plonker i would look like, maybe a walk would be better as its two miles long lol

That sounds like a great plan!

If you can't run it, jog it. If you can't jog it, walk it. If you can't walk it, crawl it! No matter how you start, just make a start! Then do it again.. and again.. and then you'll get faster and faster, healthier and happier. I always have headphones in listening to fairly loud music on the radio when I go for a run. You might enjoy it better that way. It's also nice to just stop and take in the views around you, too.

Lol Goldfish i don't think i would be crawling around the Chester wall.

I did have an aim to do the london marathon once, its a stupid aim but its something i wanted to do before i got overweight

First post here and this is the No1 hot topic. I would honesty try a reasonably well rated escort. This much frustration is far, far more unhealthy than the very minute chance or any STD or "shame" that people will say you'll have. It's also counterproductive to dating to be this frustrated. Just get an escort (or 4 if you want fun), meet her a good few times, get comfortable being intimate with women and then try dating when that monkey is off your back.

A lot of people will say that this isn't the best solution, which I agree, but its far better than letting that monkey on your back dominate your life. Really. You have waited your fair share of time and have been far more patient than most men and women of your age so just treat yourself a little with no strings attached. You earned it.

Sorry no, how ever much i might seem desperate or however depressed i might be i will never and i mean NEVER get an escort.

I would rather be alone at christmas and without a family then hire an escort

It's not a stupid aim. If you want do it, decide to, and then do it. Say.. make it your goal to finish it in 2020. That gives you 3 years of healthy eating habits and disciplined training to lose the weight and build your stamina - which is 100% entirely realistic to achieve. Heck, if you were absolutely determined you could do it sooner, but it's more realistically achievable over 2-3 years than in just one.

Like I said before, I was once 242lbs with a 38" waist. I've since completed the Tough Mudder in Whistler 3 times in the last 4 years, and am already registered to do it again next June! When I was 242lbs & fat, if someone told me I'd complete a 10mile military obstacle course through the mountains even once I'd have laughed at them in disbelief.. buuuut, I've done it - 3 times so far. If I can do that, you can do this if you want to.

I would like to know how to change negative thoughts, myself.

I can understand why but be aware that escorts do have an overly unwarranted negative stereotype. I would just try and make sure that you're not being to overbearing to potential women you meet. Getting to worked up about it won't help.

Have you thought about starting off your own social club for people with aspergers? It might allow you to gain a foothold on a social circle of the most like minded people to you who might know someone suitable for you.

Well if you don't work towards self improvement and finding ways to make yourself more happy/content...that increases the chances of never finding a girlfriend.

Everyone has issues so its not like you have to be 100% happy but if you're completely miserable and don't even see a point in looking after yourself and only have negative things to say about yourself that would make it impossible for a relationship even if a girl was interested in you.