A girlfriend is not a lost puppy.

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OK GF what about my relationship do you think doesn't involve being attracted to the person (which I certainly am) or communicating with them (which we certainly do). I always find it easier to relate with people like me, which is why I do think an Aspie nation or similar would work, but that's a whole nother thread.

I think what this thread is really about is you trying to peddle your Dr Mario "cure", which hasn't helped you in getting or maintaining a relationship by your own admission!

Oh, and another thing--I do my part for autism by making regular donations at the sperm bank, that's a fact and not just something I'm saying. Hopefully some NT family will get a low functioning little bundle of joy with special interests including lighting things on fire and screaming his little head off.

Oh, and another thing--I do my part for autism by making regular donations at the sperm bank, that's a fact and not just something I'm saying. Hopefully some NT family will get a low functioning little bundle of joy with special interests including lighting things on fire and screaming his little head off.

I can't decide if you're being extremely loose or extremely rigid in your thinking. NTs are one way in a department, and aspies are another, but if an aspie is in a similar way in that department then they are NT in that department by decree of arbitrarily labeling certain preferences after neurological makeup.

"Only NTs like big butts, and if an aspie likes big butts that just means they are NT in that regard because only NTs like big butts."

And I don't know about you, but in my view relationships involve a not insignificant degree of social interaction. I seem to remember the diagnostic criteria for ASD mentioning that.


Culture is a factor too, yes, but there is no learning to be NT. There is only learning to navigate a society made up predominately of NTs. And no one insists on you being attractive, but being attractive makes attracting someone easier, no one insists you date, but without going out and meeting people between four eyes it's going to be difficult evaluating potential partners for compatibility, and sex is much more interesting with a partner than without one.

Wrong. It simply means you have those preferences in a partner. They have nothing to do with neurotype.

Um, no. Incorrect on all accounts. These are Human traits, Not NT specific or Only traits. To suggest that ND people are uninterested in any or all of these things is a complete fallacy. Maybe YOU aren’t interested in these things - but just because you write a “report,” about it doesn’t mean it applies to any other, or all, ND people. Get real.

Those "looking," for a girlfriend should look in the mirror instead (not obsessively or anything) and work on themselves. Get fitter/healthier, be well groomed with impeccable personal hygiene, dress decently (not necessarily expensively, just don't look homeless like me when I'm on my way to work. ) Maybe take up a hobby or something so you have an interest/skill to display competence or mastery in. etc. The animal kingdom gets this.. right down to lowly spiders. Males are often ornately decorated & do little mating dances and such to attract females.

It seems there's a common misconception here that focusing on one's self vs. finding a partner is counterproductive as then you may miss out on an opportunity to meet that special someone. The exact polar opposite is true. Focusing on yourself is what's necessary to make yourself stand out and be noticed by that special someone. It's also how you overcome appearing "desperate," - by playing the nonchalant "hard to get," card. You may REALLY REALLY REALLY want to talk to that girl and get her number.. but chances are you'll mess it up royally & would be better served by playing it cool and letting her talk to you once she notices you. Or keep your approach super minimal so as not to let on that you're interested. People want what they can't have.. so if you make it be known that you're looking for a date, you won't likely get one. But if you're polite and flash a smile, someone may be curious enough about you to want to get together and learn more about you. Oui oui, NT games.. but this is how these things work in the real world. Point blank communication comes across as desperation & repels vs. attracts unless you are particularly skilled at PUA tactics.

Good hygiene and grooming is necessary but not sufficient. I hear women complaining constantly that their bf "dresses like a slob". Also, remember Elliott Roger? He had good hygiene, wore designer clothes, drove a fancy car and had access to riches and this sure worked out so well for him! He was too damn shy to ask any girls out......

That being said, this advice is really better suited to women rather than men. Men are visual creatures and pay far more attention to looks and what clothes she's wearing than vice versa. But more importantly, men in general are expected by women to play the active role in the courtship process. Women are attracted to men who are confident(the opposite of confidence is anxiety), and even moreso to men who are assertive. Sometimes women do ask men out, but that is the exception not the norm(it happens << 50% of the time) so men should not go through life expecting it. The text I put in bold is certainly true for birds(and some other creatures)but it is totally not the case for humans. With humans, the females dress ornately and show off their bodies to attract the males.

Besides, you can't seem to wrap your head around the fact that many of us Aspies prefer quality over quantity. You prefer the latter. But we ain't gonna change just to suit you, my friend. Stop playing into peoples insecurities to promote your self-help poppycock.

For what it's worth, it's quite liberating to throw this whole unwritten rule book out any window you please. I don't arrange dates or label relationships anymore because I realized that was an unhealthy way of evaluating who's really important to me. The facts of who really matters to you actually have little to do with sexuality.

Oh, for sure. Friends, family, God children - they all matter more than people I have sex with.

I could have gotten laid last night not that was important to me, but it wasn’t. Spending time with my favourite family of 4 to go see a movie (Incredibles 2) and have a late night dinner was FAR superior to hooking up with some random gay boy. There’s plenty of other times and opportunities for that.

But that’s not to say that sex/fwb (or relationships if that’s your thing) don’t matter at all.

Monogamy is nice---but a concerted effort usually has to be made to preserve it.